Ted (2012)

R   |    |  Comedy


Ted (2012) Poster

John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.


6.9/10
571,412

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User Reviews


5 October 2017 | EthanBJones_03
7
| Recommended
'TED' - 2012

Directed by Seth MacFarlane

Starring Seth MacFarlane, Mark Walhberg and Giovani Ribisi

Plot Overview: When John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) was a little boy, he made a wish that Ted (Seth MacFarlane), his beloved teddy bear, would come alive. Thirty years later, foul-mouthed Ted is still John's constant companion, much to the chagrin of Lori (Mila Kunis), John's girlfriend. Though Lori's displeasure is exacerbated by the pair's constant consumption of beer and weed, she's not the one who's most disappointed with John; it may take the intervention of John's boyhood toy to help him grow up at last.

Should this movie work? Perhaps. It has an alright premise but is dragged down by MacFarlane's frequently criticised brand of humour. I myself do enjoy the earlier seasons of 'Family Guy'{Even though it sucks now}. The balance of what it's quality SHOULD have been is right in the middle. And honestly, I like this movie. It's not an Oscar bait movie. It's not gonna change your life but I think if you sit down and watch it, and can tolerate MacFarlane's humour, you will be pleasantly surprised.

What worked for this movie. Well for starters I will compliment the cast. Seth MacFarlane does an excellent job at voicing Ted. You can argue that it's just a carbon copy of his Peter Griffin character and there is 100% some merit to that statement. But honestly, I'd argue that there are some noticeable differences between the two. The CGI for Ted was also pretty well done and reasonably convincing.

Mark Walhberg was also great in the movie. He doesn't deserve Oscars or critical acclaim but he provided a good enough performance. The supporting cast, which includes Mila Kunis, Giovani Ribisi and Jessica Barth, was also pretty great.

Perhaps the film's greatest merit is it's awesome premise. The simple concept of a toy coming alive to be your friend is simply incredible. The story surrounding this premise was pretty weak but it wasn't awful. I wish it had gone through a redraft just to refine it a bit and to fix the awful ending, but it isn't atrocious.

Humour is a subjective thing. A film can neither be funny nor unfunny, objectively. So if I tell you this movie is hilarious(which I personally think), you may not think so. All I will say is that I personally found it hilarious. If you do not, then that is your opinion. I cannot recommend this movie for the comedy but that is purely a subjective thing.

My flaws with this film? As stated before, the main two are the general plot and the ending. It is way too sappy and way too ridiculous. Comedy is also a factor but I cannot recommend it based on that. If you enjoy some of MacFarlane's other work, then I recommend this movie. The premise and acting are both solid so if you like MacFarlane's humour, you've got a trifecta of reasons to see this movie. If you cannot stand MacFarlane, don't touch this with a 10ft pole. I'll rate this film 7 'Tubby McFat***ks' out of 10.

Metacritic Reviews


Critic Reviews



Did You Know?

Trivia

The episode of Spongebob Squarepants (1999) that Ted and John watch in the beginning is "Procrastination" from Spongebob Squarepants: Procrastination/I'm with Stupid (2001). This is fitting as the two are lazily chilling on the couch, making John late for work.


Quotes

Ted: You have a baby? Is it alive?


Goofs

As Lori is driving, she carries on a conversation with John, and the passenger window is clearly rolled up. When he opens the car door in the reverse shot, it is rolled down.


Crazy Credits

At the start of the movie, the Universal 'planet earth' signature sequence appears, and the narration begins. As the narration continues, the camera zooms in to the logo, "Google Earth Style" eventually centering on the action in the young John Bennet's home town.


Alternate Versions

The 114-minute "Unrated" version has the following changes:

  • There some extra dialogue between the bully and Greenbaum where the bully declares for his Christmas gift - his face in Greenbaum's face.
  • Just before young John enters the kitchen, there's an exchange between Steve and Helen. After some implications they get straight to the fact that Helen performed oral sex on Steve the previous evening.
  • There is a Japanese news report after the Action News Georgia segment where the female Japanese anchor gets slapped by her male counterpart for mistakenly calling Ted a "rabbit".
  • Donny's flashback is revealed and included. In the theatrical version, what he describes to Ted about his fascination is only spoken.
  • Murphy's talk about his connection with Tom Skerritt is extended with him talking about the privileges being with him.
  • There's a little extension of John's "So bad, but so good" commentary where both him and Ted started singing part of the Flash Gordon theme song. John then exclaims, "Fuck yeah!"
  • In bed with Lori, John has a replacement line, "I'm a fucking classy broad" and an additional line, "I've been crapping out room for it for two days. I mean, I know exactly what I'm going to order." There is also additional dialogue from John once thunder is heard.
  • In Rex's office room, he takes out his magnifying glass and shows his "root" on the photo. After Lori leaves, he takes a short smell on the chair she sat on.
  • In the dinner with John and Lori, there is additional dialog by John referring to the Virgina Tech University shooting.
  • In the theatrical release, Lori sees a pile of feces on the floor while Ted is with four hookers at their apartment. Ted explains that Charene, the Asian hooker, defecated on the floor as part of a "truth or dare" game. In the unrated version, Ted explains that a fifth hooker named Dierdre did the mess and locked herself in the bathroom. Lori is also more furious in this scene.
  • Before Ted goes for the interview for the supermarket job, John responds to the attorney proposal that Ted spoke of.
  • In the scene where Ted and John watch the 'Cheers' DVD boxed set, Ted Danson's TV interview is longer, with Ted and John interrupting in between.
  • During dinner, Tami-Lynn talks about her friend's miscarriage so that she can join her for a trip. There's also more cussing by her while Ted persuades her to leave.
  • In the party at Rex's house, Lori's three colleagues have a conversation about Rex's one night stand locations.
  • In the theatrical version, Ted says that he met Norah Jones at Belinda Carlisle's house. In the unrated version, he says that he met her at a charity event for kids screwed up by a family member, and they had sex at the back room.
  • After John and Lori drive off to find Ted, Ted tries to escape again but stumbles upon the basement full of tattered teddy bears that belong to Donny.
  • Near the end, the newly-wed Lori throws a bouquet of flowers. John's co-worker Tanya grabs the bouquet before an unhappy Tami-Lynn beats her up.


Soundtracks

Flash's Theme
Written by
Brian May
Performed by Queen
Courtesy of Universal-Island Records Ltd
Under license from Universal Music Enterprises
Courtesy of Hollywood Records for United States and Canada

Box Office

Budget:

$50,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend USA:

$54,415,205 1 July 2012

Gross USA:

$218,815,487

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$549,368,315

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