Dr. Jillian O'Hara: Don't... poke... the alien.

Dr. Jillian O'Hara: ...in case you haven't noticed, we don't exactly have working faucets here. And the nearest plumber's over 100 dimensions away.

Pointdexter: Well, couldn't we all just pee in a cup?

Lieutenant Rivers: A science experiment goes wrong, sticks us in a monster-filled parallel dimension with six hours to get home.

Colonel Sam Synn: Still not as bad as Tehran.

Lieutenant Rivers: Not yet.

Colonel Sam Synn: We're definitely going to need a bigger boat.

Pvt. Jordan Reid: [Puzzled] Boat?

Senator Jackson Crenshaw: Did he say 1.21 terawatts?

Lieutenant Rivers: I'm sorry. Let me go get something to wrap that up with.

Pointdexter: You're not qualified!