Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
Jim Carrey: Colonel Stars and Stripes
Photos
Quotes
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Colonel Stars and Stripes : Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?
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Mr. Kim : Who the hell are you?
Colonel Stars and Stripes : We're the good guys.
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Insect Man : I've been bullied my whole life for being gay; so, now I stand up for the defenseless. It's why I don't wear a mask. Too much like being back in the closet.
Colonel Stars and Stripes : As long as your heart's in the right place, we don't care what you put in your mouth.
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Colonel Stars and Stripes : [to Eisenhower] You have to stay in there till you calm down, you lunatic. Wonder what's bothering you.
Mother Russia : I know. Tonight you die.
Colonel Stars and Stripes : [draws gun] Ladies first.
Mother Russia : You will not shoot me. You are superhero. You help people. You do not hurt them.
Chris D'Amico : That's super-villain territory; or, as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts.
The Tumor : [waves] Hi.
Colonel Stars and Stripes : [takes gun; clicks; Mother Russia realizes it's empty] Yeah, just like your head.
Genghis Carnage : [Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him] Yeah!
The Tumor : Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
[Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]
Chris D'Amico : I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?
Colonel Stars and Stripes : [dying] I used to hangout with a lot of losers.
Chris D'Amico : Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?
Colonel Stars and Stripes : Who are you supposed to be?
Chris D'Amico : I'm the Motherfucker, and I'm here to end Kick-Ass, not just kill him. I am going to shit on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys.
[picks up mail statement]
Chris D'Amico : Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team?
[googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster]
Chris D'Amico : Night Bitch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.
Mother Russia : Want me to kill his dog?
Chris D'Amico : The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm starving. Let's go get some pizza.
Mother Russia : Don't worry, I kill you first.
[wraps legs around Colonel's neck]
Colonel Stars and Stripes : Justice Forever...
[snaps neck; dies]
