On Call (2010)

Cash Markman helps explain with this Penthouse release how one reaches nearly 1000 screenplays made into videos: writing a worthless script on the level of a stag movie.

India Summer's voice-over narration is the only quality aspect of this junker, stringing together 5 lousy vignettes around the premise of workmen (or women) on call 24/7 to deliver a household service, but actually delivering sex.

Most awkward scene is the finale, in which Dane Cross stammers his way through a tiresome set-up as a golfer stranded on a golf cart he apparently sabotaged in ordr to get sexy repair lady Juelz Ventura to come and service him.

Two of the scenes shown back to back utitlize the same stag film gimmick, of a plumber and then a repairman in the housewife's kitchen, instantly seduced.

So it goes, with Cash truly annoying me by thoroughly wasting the talents of two beautiful import ladies: Blue Angel cast as a locksmith in an asinine scene of Eric Masterson running around in the nude after almost getting caught shtupping (off-screen) his neighbor and then unable to get back into his house. The set-up of him somehow reaching inside a door crack to phone for help is absurd and typical of the amount of time & care (zero) Markman gives to his useless scripts.

Even worse, one of Brit Porn's most neglected blonde bombshells Chloe Conrad gets her big toe stuck in the faucet during a bubble bath, so it takes two service guys (Chris Johnson and Rocco Reed) to dislodge it an then treat her to a threesome.