23 June 2015 | lor_
Ann Marie can't save particularly poor Romance
I'm not sure if the Romance series popular about five years ago has been deep- sixed, but a stinker like THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY could well have contributed to an early demise of that particular porn genre. I watched it to see my fave Ann Marie Rios, and got little else out of the bargain.
First segment amounts to a rather lengthy prologue, limning her love affair with handsome Chris Johnson. Rios voices over a terrible piece of narration (from scriptwriter Crystal Dear, a hack with five of these Romances under her/his belt) that sounds like imitation "Grey's Anatomy", expressing her live & learn philosophy after Chris loves & leaves her. She's a law student and he's a song writer, and the waking up after humping to find he's gone forever (no note, no nothing) scars her.
At this point the XXX romance was already stone cold dead, thanks to horrendously flat acting by Johnson. His sex technique is 100% mechanical to boot, and as a result Ann Marie has to do all the work to try and make this vignette erotic. My cross to bear is that I already have a copy of VENUS IN FURS, another Rios romance in which she's, you guessed it, re-teamed with Johnson. I'm not surprised that she retired from the industry soon after that one, culminating a very successful decade-plus career.
Story picks up five years later with preparations for the title event. Ann Marie is betrothed to fellow lawyer Rocco Reed, though she feels neglected already since he's working on a big case (she has yet to score one) and seems overly interested in a paralegal Teagan Summers (a non-sex supporting role).
Very dull party indeed gives us three more requisite sex scenes: Ramon Nomar humping eager Reena Sky; J. Jay (another lousy actor whose career went nowhere) fortunate to bed down outdoors with big-bust cutie Natasha Nice; followed by the inevitable climax of Rocco shtupping Rios after he pours out his heart and assures her she will be worshiped as Mrs. Rocco.
To round out the story, the unwelcome and uninvited guest who shows up at the party, of course bad penny Chris Johnson, gets his walking papers in the form of a returned unlistened-to CD of songs he wrote about her from Rios. Best moments of the desultory finale come when Rios lapses into porn-speak in Spanish at the heights of passion induced by Rocco's big dick.
Production values are quite weak for this failed attempt to make a "real movie" instead of gonzo porn, and the ubiquitous condoms (that producers thought would appeal to a "couples crowd" stick out like a sore thumb, if I may be permitted a truly mixed metaphor.