Haunted Mansion

I wasn't expecting Disney's "Haunted Mansion" film to be a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but I was hoping it would be good entertainment, as the trailers seemed to make it look a bit more fun and authentic than some of Disney's other ride adaptations. It also has a talented cast including LaKeith Stanfield, Owen Wilson, and Danny DeVito. Yet the film fell short of my expectations, simply because it is so generic and derivative that it fails to offer the viewer anything new. It's not simply that "Haunted Mansion" might be too scary for younger kids and too juvenile for older kids, as that would not be a problem if the movie was good or interesting--it's just that this film overall isn't very good or interesting, period.

The film follows a single mother and her son who move into the Haunted Mansion, which is in New Orleans. While the film tries to utilize the setting of New Orleans in some decently authentic ways, the rest of the plot and character development is so generic that they fail to make viewers more engaged in the setting. The film's attempts at both humor and scares fall flat, as the jokes are formulaic and corny while the attempts at more frightening moments fail to elicit any tension or suspense, and are quite repetitive and CGI-heavy. For a film that supposedly cost $160 million to make, the visual effects look very cheesy and artificial as well. At over two hours long, the film also runs for too long, especially given the plot has limited resolution or payoff in a way that would be directly satisfying for the audience. While the supporting cast (such as Wilson and DeVito) try their best with the material they have been given and sometimes give off charismatic and fun performances, the rest of the film does not work especially well. Not recommended. 5/10.

While making this movie, they stole so many scenes from Harry Potter and The Frighteners that at some moments I thought I was watching a collage of those movies.

Also; The All Star Cast thing, like this "Michael Jackson - We Are The World" clip, is starting to tire me.

I wish you could find a decent screenwriter instead of working with such expensive actors.

There are such expensive actors, but there is nothing in the name of art.

The CGI part is good but the script is terrible.

Zero originality in 2023.

I think Disney Plus officials are Netflix agents, and they want to bury the Disney Plus name in history.

Haunted Mansion is needlessly convoluted and feels its length but for a Disney theme park ride adaptation it's really impressive how ready this film is to have some genuinely moving and open conversations about grief and how painful it can be to move on.

Lakeith Stanfield is the main reason any of this works. For a remake of a film based on a theme park ride he's way better than he needed to be. Any scene where he opens up about his pain is incredibly engaging and unexpectedly real.

Overall this is an undeniably talented cast who've all been really funny in the past so even if they're not as funny here as they definitely could've been they're all still good at getting a fair few chuckles out of the material throughout. Tiffany Haddish wins simply by having the best joke.

The most baffling casting here is Jared Leto as the Hatbox Ghost. It's a completely forgettable role and whilst it's kinda a relief he doesn't ruin the film it's so weird to see one of the most committed actors currently working (for better and worse) take a role that is 100% stunt casting.

Justin Simien's direction is pretty good, a lot of the geometry distorting set pieces are basically just CG that looks fine but there's still fun to be had with them and it's only in the third when the CG overload threatens to derail it like it did Jungle Cruise, but this recovers.

My friend who used to work at a movie theatre and who I hadn't seen in a while expressed interest in watching this one so I decided to oblige him on this point. I expected some laughs and innocent scares but while I was impressed with the visual effects, I didn't think there were many funny scenes or lines unless they were said by Danny DeVito. Still, I liked it fine most of the time and so did my friend. Nice to see all the familiar New Orleans landmarks since I and my friend only live a two-hour drive from there. This friend said he liked it better than the Eddie Murphy version which I've yet to watch. In summary, we both say give this Haunted Mansion a look. P. S. I personally thought it was a shame there was no scene of DeVito with his former "Taxi" co-star Marilu Henner who seemed wasted as a NO tourist.

This is a frustrating one for me. I saw so many good ideas on display and committed performances from a game cast, but it all just felt kind of...wasted in the end.

And it's because it really felt like the cast and crew were working on a short leash. Everything about the narrative and visual presentation felt safe, sanitised, by-the-numbers, undercooked, and dull.

The film never gets silly enough to be memorable, even if it does get its share of decent laughs. And it also never gets scary or edgy enough to be memorable either.

There's no distinct style or vision here. It's like store-brand vanilla ice cream. There isn't even anything particularly wrong with it; it's just so bland that it's not going to be remembered for anything at all.