Add a Review

  • Warning: Spoilers
    Well, here I am reviewing a porno movie! Hey, we all love porn now and then, especially if you love horror movies and Jason Voorhees is one of your horror movie iconic heroes. But how well does a XXX parody version come across when it's based on a slasher in a hockey mask?

    Well, let's put it this way. What there is of a plot to this film, its ok. A guys grandmother passed away and she left him a nudist camp. So now he has decided to fix up his inheritance and re-open "Camp Crystal Lake, the Nudist Colony". I'm sure if the writers or ideas people behind this movie put their heads together a little longer, they could have come up with a better name than that, but anyway, back to the plot; The camp had been closed down due to a man who was said to have a penis so large, that when he went swimming, he drowned from the weight of his own 'meat and two veg'!

    But the folk stories around the town say he mated with the bottom of the lake, and now returns as a monster who can ejaculate some kind of acid that melts away skin if it touches it. This ends up in results of some mild ?sbelunkie? scenes (whatever that word is)

    Basically the rest of the movie is a bunch of people supposedly getting ready to open the place up again, but they can't keep their hands off each other... and of coarse, you know who, comes and... well, yeah, he comes.

    To not try and spoil any of the movie, I will just tell you what sort of scenes you can expect. The first one is a type of female domination, but not really a BDSM thing, more a master to slave thing involving some commanding anal sex. Next is a pretty straight forward sex scene. Somewhere in the midst is a MFF 3 way, also a slower softer scene that begins with a bit of a strip tease, and the rest is pretty average stuff with what you expect out of these things. It doesn't cater to much more then pretty average stuff, so don't expect much to be wild and crazy or something highly memorable. Tho, you may find something you do, but i'm just saying, don't look for anything out of the ordinary.

    Also, any gore fans interested, yeah, you will be pretty disappointed... keep in mind that this is still a low budget film, and not looking to impress "Fangoria" or anything.

    So, to break this down into what one might do in a real review, I will judge it from 1 to 10 in these categories.

    Entertainment: 4 Sex Scenes: 7 Horror: 0 Comedy: 3 Parody: 3 Acting: 3 Score: Who cares.

    So yep, as you probably expected... don't go in looking for a great plot, or a scary movie involving better sex than in the real Friday the 13th films... but the sex scenes, well, if it's your taste/your thing, you may like it... otherwise, it's more a curiosity thing to see how they parody Friday the 13th in the porn film... but, the thing is, it's hardly even worthy of being called parody, as it's not really funny at all.... plus, I know this an adult x rated film, but I really have to say... the ending is stupid. Why did they end it that way? It's just dumb.

    Worthy of watching once, much better then the 1980's parody of Friday the 13th that had Amber Lynn in it, and you could probably also say it's better then Friday the 13th part 8... and it's quite possibly one of the better so called "parody" films that have been popping up in the XXX world... but again, it's not that memorable, and I'm sure it will end up a movie that will mostly only spark interest from the actual F13th fans who may hear through the grapevine a porno version exists starring Jason Voorhees.