Piranhaconda

I really wish that the Syfy channel would make a minimal effort to keep their original movies somewhat believable. This movie has a fish species cross breeding with a reptile. I can not even imagine how that would happen in real life. I mean if they are going to plot this scenario make it on another planet not on earth. It is easy enough to put aside believe if it is not on earth. Yeah I know they are science fiction and fantasy but this one is not at all believable to me. Of course the acting is B movie but the theme is totally lame. The women in bikinis are not bad so there is some entertainment in this movie but not that much.

A huge creature that's part snake, part fish is terrorizing the cast and crew of a B-movie, I'm guessing because it's mad that Professor Lovegrove (Michael Madsen, Sin City, Kill Bill) had stolen it's eggs (Piranhacondas don't know how to compartmentalize it seems) That's the threadbare plot for this SyFy original in a nutshell. Sure there's another plot about kidnappers but that one meanders and isn't that interesting. It's all about the snake.

Slightly above average (for a SyFy film). The effects are fairly well done and there is some fun to be had. Plus I'm still a huge admirer of Director Jim Wynorski even if it's more for his amazing work in the '80's as opposed to his more recent output.

Piranhaconda (2012)

** (out of 4)

Creature feature fun from director Jim Wynorski takes place in Hawaii as a professor (Michael Madsen) tracks down an egg that belongs to a legendary part piranha, part anaconda creature. Soon its parents are killing anyone who gets in their way and that includes a low-budget film crew there filming a slasher pic. PIRANHACONDA is actually a step above most of the creature features that appear on SyFy and a big credit has to go to Wynorski. I've always enjoyed his film and this one here is a decent little affair that should at least keep fans of monster movies entertained. Again, this isn't Shakespeare but for the most part it delivers the goods. The CGI snake/fish creature is certainly something to see. Yes, it's looks incredibly fake but this here actually adds a little charm to the picture. The majority of the death scenes have cheap CGI blood flowing but this too had its own level of charm. A few weeks ago I watched POPATOPOLIS, a documentary on Wynorski as he attempted to make a film in three days. It was a very good documentary because we got to see him directing and just listening to him talk to his actors in a manner that some might not like. There's a director in this film that acts the same way and you can't help it was spoofing Wynorski and it's actually pretty funny. However, having seen that documentary, I do wonder if the same techniques works with Madsen. As for Madsen, he's clearly just picking up a paycheck here and he appears bored throughout the picture. The supporting cast features some pretty good performances including Teri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Rachel Hunter and Rib Hillis all turning in fine work. If you're looking for high art then you're obviously in the wrong place but PIRANHACONDA at least features some good moments, although it does start to wear thin towards the end.

OK, I'll try to sum it up. First, a Captain Ahab wannabe scientist discovers a half piranha, half anaconda in Hawaii. He gets one of its eggs and escapes, only to be kidnapped by some criminals whose activities are unexplained. Meanwhile, a low-budget film crew is shooting a lousy horror movie, though it can't be as terrible as this movie. The criminals kidnap part of the film crew to hold them for ransom, but they run into the piranhaconda, and then a second piranhaconda shows up for good measure. It's never really explained how a piranha-anaconda could create a hybrid breed, and it's also never explained how it wound up in Hawaii, which is not native to either creature. The film stars Michael Madsen as the mad scientist/hostage and Rachel Hunter as the diva star of the terrible movie, both obviously in it for an easy paycheck. It was produced by none other than Roger Coreman, who made several terrible science fiction films in the 1950's. Here, he proves that he hasn't lost his touch- he can still make terrible science fiction movies. In place of unconvincing zipper-backed monsters, we have unconvincing computer animated monsters, complete with laughable death scenes where even the victims seem to have difficulty keeping straight faces. The Sci Fi Channel strikes again, strikes out that is.

This movie is one of the worst syfy movies I've ever seen. I have watched a lot of trash syfy but this one makes all the others look great. The cast always choose the dumbest course of action. This is definitely not worth any of your time.