Parker (2013)

Parker, a.k.a. "Every other Jason Statham film ever...but this time with a ten gallon". I won't be going in a detailed review, because if you've seen one Jason Statham flick you've seen every Jason Statham flick. Don't believe me? Here are some common trends I've noticed across his other films also present in this one: 1. Obligatory scene where he runs away from the hospital, minutes after waking up from being shot, beaten and/or mauled by a bear - check. 2. Semi-anonymous protagonist that is just a ridiculous badass for no apparent reason - check. 3. Whatever dubious activities he takes part in are explained to the viewer as honorable in a "everyone gets dirty" kind of way, because you know, JS has a code he adheres to and that automatically makes crime acceptable - check. 4. Women are magnetically compelled to his junk by his mere presence - check. Fast and fancy cars, because. (No I didn't forget the rest of the sentence) - check. 5.Walking around seemingly unfazed with broken appendages, ribs, collar bones, multiple gunshot wounds, knife stabbing wounds and/or bear mace - check.

All and all it's an okayish film, if you've never seen another Jason Statham flick before, but at this point it's just stupid to keep casting him in the same role, in the same film, over and over. It's obvious he's not a brilliant actor, but he has a lot more to offer than what is currently being churned out. Speaking of acting don't get me started on Jeniffer Lopez - her acting is just wince-inducing. Apparently the director thought the same and cast her in the film as a walking butt to centre shots around in the time Jason is off screen, presumably to make JS' male fans feel less awkward and have an excuse about having an erection throughout the movie, because we all know how unsure of themselves "bros" are.

It's a completely forgettable film you will probably regret paying actual real world money to see, because you will feel like you've seen this film at least 4 other times.