Penguins of Madagascar (2014)
Christopher Knights: Private
Photos
Quotes
-
Private : Hello! Are you my family?
[the three penguins turn, knowing that they're far away from land, and nod to each other before turning back to face Private]
Kowalski : You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.
Private : W-What?
[Skipper elbows Kowalski]
Kowalski : What? I thought that was what we were all nodding about.
Skipper : [hits Kowalski] No one's gonna die.
[to Private]
Skipper : You know what you got, kid? You've got us. We've got each other. And if that ain't a family, I don't know what is.
[salutes Private, who salutes back]
Skipper : [tussles Private's head] So adorable.
[to Kowalski]
Skipper : Kowalski, what's our trajectory?
Kowalski : Ninety-five percent certain we're still doomed.
Skipper : And the, uh... other five percent?
Kowalski : Adventure and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.
Skipper : I'll take that action.
Private : Where are going?
Skipper : The future, boys. The glorious future.
-
Private : Skipper wouldn't care. Plan or no! Fancy equipment or no! He'd never leave a man behind!
-
Private : So... how do I look?
Kowalski : You're hideously disfigured and will probably be hunted for sport.
Private : What?
[Skipper elbows Kowalski]
Kowalski : What?
Skipper : If there's anything we've learned from this delightful adventure, KOWALSKI, it's that looks don't matter. It's what you do that counts.
[overwhelmed with emotion]
Skipper : And look at what you did.
[the penguins from different countries look at Private, to his delight. Baby penguins pop out from behind parent penguins]
Skipper : Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team.
[Private salutes Skipper, who salutes back. Kowalski and Rico salute as well. Skipper does Private's salute by crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Private did the same and laughs. All the penguins and the North Wind cheer for Private]
-
Classified : What is that?
[they see numerous painful weapons as they are going to be killed on the ride]
Classified : Oh, great.
Short Fuse : Oh, no! This it it!
Corporal : I don't wanna die, I'm squishy!
[before they are killed by one of the weapons, the ride stops and goes reverse to see Private knocked out the squid controlling the ride]
Classified : OH NO, WE'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAAAAAAAAAAD!
Private : [to the North Wind team] I pushed a button!
-
Skipper : [after waking up from being tranquilized] What did North Wind do to us?
Private : [Turns around and shows the dart stuck in his back] They gave us badges!
Skipper : [Snatches the dart from his own shoulder] No, not badges... Tranquilizer darts!
[Looks around and realizes they're in a plane]
Skipper : Classified. That low-down, dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!
Kowalski : He thinks we can't do anything because we're just
[makes quotation marks with his flippers]
Kowalski : "penguins".
Skipper : Well, penguins are our flesh and feathers! They're US! And if anyone's going to save us, it's us.
Kowalski : But sir, we've got to be five miles up. That pretty much limits our options.
Skipper : I MAKE MY OWN OPTIONS.
[Punches the button closest to him, which opens the cargo hatch]
-
[when Dave breaks in his own ray to get Private]
Private : Hi-ya!
[punches Dave in the face with his butt-hand]
-
Skipper : [Dave drops from the ceiling in human disguise] Who are you?
Dave : The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine, renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives... but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hoped you'd never hear again. A PHANTOM! A shadow of a former life! I... AM...
[rips off disguise, but wig remains on his head]
Dave : Dave!
Skipper : [Whispers] Kowalski?
Kowalski : [Whispers back] Sorry, sir, no clue.
Dave : [Looks up, sees the wig on his head, and pulls it off] Dave!
Skipper : Dave?
Kowalski : Dave...?
Dave : Dave!
Private : [Smiles] Dave!
Dave : [Annoyed] DA-VUH!
Rico : [Rolls his eyes] Bleh.
-
Dave : [fixes the video connection] How about now?
Private : Hurray!
Classified : Yes! Way to go, looks fantastic!
Dave : Excellent! Now, where was I?
[laughs maniacally]
Kowalski : Dave!
Short Fuse : Grrrr!
Dave : Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
Skipper : We were never "mates." There was no mating.
Classified : Turn yourself in, David. You are powerless now that I have stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
Skipper : What? You didn't steal that!
Classified : It's over.
Dave : It's over?
[mock-confusion]
Dave : Then... why did I call you? Wierd. OH! Maybe it was to show you *this*!
[turns camera to reveal a large vat of Medusa Serum]
Kowalski : [collective gasp from everyone] That is a lot of serum for four penguins.
Dave : Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No, no-no-no-no. We're just getting started.
[takes a selfie]
Dave : Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... FOR REVENGE!
[hits button, buzzer sounds. hits button again, same result]
Dave : Wait. How do you...?
Squid : [gurgles instructions]
Dave : What do I push?
Squid : [points and gurgles]
Dave : Is it the red, or...
Squid 2 : [points, gurgles, and slaps own head in frustration]
Dave : I thought it was... it's not this -
[screen goes black]
