31 October 2013 | natashabowiepinky
Watching this is Payback enough...
The film starts off with a Dappy song. And it only gets worse from there.
You may think this is all about football hooliganism. It is not. What it concerns, is a dumb young footballer who gives a lot of his fortune to some of the 'boys' he used to hang around with when he was a troubled yoof under some kind of naive obligation, and to no-one's surprise they take advantage of him. About a million and one irritating "sick, bruv", "whass going on" and "you're my fam"s later, he finally realises what a colossal idiot he is, and tries to renegade on his free spending days. But the tough leader of his former homies has other ideas, and threatens the soccer star's family if the cheques stop being cashed. There's also several sub-plots involving him going out with a female interviewer and the ensuing scandal when someone takes pictures of them together, and his attempts to keep his little brother out of mischief when the little squirt decides to try out make a name for himself away from the shadow of his more famous sibling.
Right, where to start... no-one here has any ability in front of the camera whatsoever, and would embarrass the kids from Hollyoaks with their carry-ons (And knowing how much I despise THAT show, this is truly devastating criticisms) Also, there seems to be a distinct lack of tangible personalities. One minute, the love interest to the main character is a feminist who refuses to be won over by charm and flowers. Next, despite him being massively late for a dinner on their first date, she falls into his bed at the drop of a hat. Also, what about his physio buddy, determined to keep him on the straight and narrow... but yet turns up at his plush apartment in tow with a couple of bimbos and booze one night, with training the next day? And without spoiling the ending (I couldn't ruin the film more than it already is, though) what's with the reaction of the youngster with the gun? Sloppy scriptwriting? No... just plain awful.
Going back to the finale, I have not seen one all this year with so many loose ends. But, who cares? By then, I was just glad it was all over. It's just a stupid flick, made by stupid people, for stupid people. 2/10