Bite (2011)

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22 December 2015 | lor_
Two dozen Brit beauties can't be all bad
"Bite" is one of the Bluebird Films product line that dispenses with story and just presents endless sex & nudity. What keeps these exercises from being merely generic is the casting director.

Two dozen birds are on view in six lengthy segments, so many in fact that three get lost in the shuffle and aren't credited upfront or in the end credits crawl. Of these, Nicole Lauren is mentioned on the video box.

Expected vampire horror premise is toyed with but basically jettisoned. A couple of scenes have a caped woman briefly flash some dime store toy fangs, which immediately disappear, and as one glambird remarks, "Would you rather I bite you or f*ck you?". Answer is so obvious that no bloodletting or violence occurs.

Instead we have basically foursomes in a repetitive format presumably invented by Bluebird and (to my knowledge) not copied. It takes a bit of getting used to: I didn't catch on the first couple of Bluebirds of this ilk, and was merely bored out of my gourd.

The ritual is XXX lesbian humping in the foreground while two more gals paw each other soft-core fashion and eye the camera in the background as extra eye candy. I don't know the pay-scale differential, but this odd practice was presumably worth the trouble given the extra cost of hiring four, five or even six times more actresses than the usual production.

Each segment has a title: "Velvet", "Night", "Hypnotic", etc. each of which proves to be meaningless. There is a sloppiness to the entire undertaking that I have come to expect, nay, look forward to in a Bluebird production.

Among the major XXX pairings are Natasha Marley with Paige Ashley; Amanda Rendell opposite Cindy Behr (sexy Charlie Monaco is wasted in this segment's background); Stacey Saran and Chloe Conrad; and Gemma Massey & Valery Summer. Finale has five girls in a schoolroom skit that seems left over from another project, and has Michelle Thorne the center of attention.

I suspect most viewers will consider "Bite" overkill, but it's harmless porn, not much evolved from the days of "maximum female flesh" on screen typified by the champ of them all, 1972's "Street of 1000 Pleasures".

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Release Date:

20 September 2011



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