The Angry Video Game Nerd: Even my dreams are low budget.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: You ever see me play Top Gun? Not a pretty sight.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Oh for the love of Pong, one hoax at a time.

Cooper: Are you crazy? Do you even know where Area 51 even is?

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Between Area 50 and 52?

Cooper: That's exactly what you should say in the video!

CooperThe Angry Video Game Nerd: I can't even be pissed off and have it mean anything anymore.

Cooper: It's better to get pissed off than to get pissed on!

Dr. Zandor: Only a gamer would jump at nothing to find a hidden block. But something tells me you're not just some gamer, but thee gamer.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Cooper. If you want to be a nerd like me, you gotta make some unique sacrifices. No physical fitness, no social popularity and most important, no girls!

Cooper: Come on, haven't you had enough?

The Angry Video Game Nerd: A Nerd's work is never done.

Cooper: Well, that's just a stupid line.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: I only said it for the trailer.

General Dark Onward: Where did all these fucking boxes come from?

The Angry Video Game Nerd: I have to save the fans.

Cooper: Holy shitsky! She's got them big ass titties! I'd like to bang that booty like... Ugh! Ugh!

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Hey! Stop that! Stop! Always remember the golden rule... "nerds before birds" right?

Sergeant McButter: Whatcha guys got in the back of that big van? Migrant workers? Sex traffic? Drug mules? You all have cocaine stuffed up your butts?

Cooper: No ma'am, just video games.

General Dark Onward: After them McButter!

Sergeant McButter: It helps if you shake me sir.

General Dark Onward: Really?

Sergeant McButter: No, sir.