The Last of Us (2013 Video Game)

Troy Baker: Joel

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Quotes 

• Ellie : That girl is so skinny... I thought you had plenty of food in your time.

  Joel : We did. Some just chose not to eat it.

  Ellie : Why the hell not?

  Joel : For looks.

  Ellie : Pffft, that's stupid.

• Ellie : I'm sure your "friend" will be missing this tonight.

  [pulls out gay porn mag] 

  Ellie : Light on the reading, but it has some good photos.

  Joel : Now Ellie, that ain't for kids.

  Ellie : Whoa! How the - how the hell would you even walk around with that thing?

  Joel : Get rid of that. Just...

  Ellie : Hold your horses, I wanna see what the fuss is about. Why are these pages stuck together?

  Joel : Uhh...

  Ellie : [laughs]  I'm just fucking with you!

• Joel : I've struggled... a long time with survivan'. & you- no matter what... you keep finding something to fight for. Now, I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but it's...

  Ellie : Swear to me. Swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true.

  Joel : I Swear.

  Ellie : [after a long pause]  Okay.

• Ellie : What did the mermaid wear to her math class?

  Joel : [Annoyed]  What?

  Ellie : An algae-bra.

  Joel : [scoffs]  Terrible...

  Ellie : Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

  Joel : Alright...

  Ellie : Because he was outstanding... In his field.

  Joel : That'll do.

• Ellie : Everyone I have cared for has either died or left me. Everyone - fucking except for you! So don't tell me I would be safer with somebody else, because the truth is I would just be more scared.

  Joel : You're right... You're not my daughter, and I sure as hell ain't your dad. And we are going our separate ways.

• Joel : [after Joel kills all the hunters in the bookstore]  that was too damn close...

  Ellie : To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive...

  Joel : excuse me?

  Ellie : Savage Starlight, that comic I've been reading? It's what the hero says after a big battle.

  Joel : Endure and survive?

  Ellie : Yeah.

  Joel : heh, okay...

• Ellie : What is the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages?

  Joel : [sighs] 

  Ellie : A stalemate.

  Joel : That's awful.

  Ellie : ...You're awful.

  Joel : Do you even understand what that means?

  Ellie : Nope... It doesn't matter.

• Ellie : Hearing them talk, it's good to know they're scared of you.

  Joel : Yeah, well, just try not to let your guard down.

  Ellie : I'm just saying, I'm glad you're on my side.

  [Joel doesn't respond] 

  Ellie : That was a compliment.

  Joel : Okay.

• Ellie : I dreamt about flying the other night.

  Joel : Oh yeah?

  Ellie : Yeah.

  Joel : Go on, tell me about it.

  Ellie : So, I'm on this big plane full of people. And everyone is screaming and yelling 'cause the plane's going down. So I walk to the cockpit, open the door, but there's no pilot. I try to use the controls but... I obviously have no clue how to fly a plane. And right before we crash, I wake up. I've never been on a plane. Isn't that weird?

  Joel : Hmpf. Well, you know, dreams are weird.

• Tess : What do you know about me? about us?

  Joel : I know that this is not you.

  Tess : Really? Guess what, we're shitty people Joel it's been that way for a long time...

  Joel : No, we are survivors...

  Tess : this is our chance...!

  Joel : IT IS OVER, TESS! now we tried... let's just go home...

• Joel : Don't you have a plan B?

  Bill : You're lucky you're still drawing breath! That was plan A, B, all the way to fucking Z!

• Joel : [after Ellie saves him from a hunter]  Why didn't you just hang back like I told you to?

  Ellie : Well, you're glad I didn't, right?

  Joel : I'm glad I didn't get my head blown off by a goddamn kid.

  Ellie : You know what? No. How about "Hey, Ellie. I know it wasn't easy, but it was either him or me, thanks for saving my ass." You got anything like that for me, Joel?

• Joel : I've struggled a long time with survivin', but no matter what you have to find something to fight for.

• Ellie : Holy shit. We actually made it.

  Joel : Everyone okay?

  Tess : Yes. Let's move.

  Ellie : You guys are pretty good at this stuff.

  Joel : It's called luck, and it is gonna run out.

• Ellie : Ready for a joke? Bakers trade bread recipes on a need-to-know basis...

  Joel : [Doesn't respond] 

  Ellie : ...like 'knead'.

  Joel : Yeah, I get it.

• Ellie : We're here because you owe Joel some favors, and you can start by taking these off!

  [referring to handcuffs dangling from her wrist] 

  Bill : I owe Joel some favors... is this some kind of joke?

  Joel : I'll cut to the chase: I need a car.

  Bill : Well, it is a joke. Joel needs a car! Well, if I had one that works, which I sure as hell don't, what makes you think I'd just give it to you? Huh? "Yeah sure, Joel, go ahead, take my car! Take all my food too, while you're at it!

  Ellie : By the looks of it, you could lose some of that food.

  Bill : [Points a knife at her]  You listen to me, you little shit...

  Ellie : No, fuck you! You handcuffed me!

• Ellie : That's gotta be hard. Leaving all of your stuff behind like that.

  Joel : That ain't the hard part.

• Joel : [about Ellie]  Take me to her.

  Marlene : You don't have to worry about her anymore. We'll take care of...

  Joel : [interrupting]  I worry. Just... let me see her. Please.

• Bill : Listen, are we square?

  Joel : We're square.

  Bill : Good. Now get the fuck out of my town.

• [Joel is seen tucking a heavily-drugged Ellie away into the back seat of a truck before stalking over to Marlene, writhing in pain on the ground] 

  Marlene : Wait! Let me go. Please!

  Joel : You'd just come after her.

  [shoots her point blank in the head] 

• Joel : [Regarding his brother] 

  Joel : I believe his last words to me were "I don't ever want to see your goddamn face again."

• Joel : We don't have to do this. You know that, right?

  Ellie : What's the other option?

  Joel : Go back to Tommy's. Just... be done with this whole thing.

  Ellie : After all we've been through. I mean, everything that I've done.

  [sighs wearily] 

  Ellie : It can't be for nothing. Look, I know you mean well, but there's no halfway with this. Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want. Okay?

  Joel : Well, I ain't leavin' without you. Let's go wrap this up.

• Henry : [after Joel pummels him in a misunderstanding]  Man, you hit hard.

  Joel : Yeah, well, I was trying to kill you.

• Ellie : [about Tess, in horror]  Holy shit... she's infected.

  Tess : Joel...

  Joel : Let me see it.

  Tess : I didn't mean for this...

  Joel : Show it to me!

  [Tess resentfully jerks her shirt collar aside, revealing a festering bite on her clavicle] 

  Joel : Oh, Christ.

  Tess : Oops, right?

  [to Ellie] 

  Tess : Give me your arm!

  [pulls Ellie's sleeve back, points at the month-old bite mark on her arm] 

  Tess : This was three weeks! I was bitten an hour ago, and it's already worse. This is fucking real, Joel! You have got to get this girl to Tommy's. He used to run with this crew, he'll know where to go.

  Joel : No, no, no! That was your crusade, I am not doing that!

  Tess : Yes, you are! Look... there's enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me. So you get her to Tommy's!

• Ellie : I stayed at a place like this, back in the Boston QZ.

  Joel : [reading]  "Military Preparatory School..."

  Ellie : Yeah. Nice way of saying "orphanage." I wonder what happened to all these kids.

  Joel : This place has been out for a good stretch, they ain't kids no more.

  Ellie : Meaning they're either hunters trying to kill us, or they're dead.

  Joel : Or they got away.

  Ellie : But you don't believe that.

  Joel : I believe in getting out of this city. C'mon.

• Joel : [coming upon Ellie hacking away at the body of David, her would-be rapist]  Ellie! Stop! Stop!

  Ellie : Don't fucking touch me!

  Joel : Ssh, ssh! It's okay! It's me, it's me! Look, look. It's me.

  Ellie : [crying, traumatized]  He tried to...

  Joel : [pulls her close]  Oh, baby girl. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay now.

• Marlene : [as Joel wakes up from being knocked out by a soldier after Ellie nearly drowned]  Welcome to the Fireflies. Sorry about the...

  [gestures to her head] 

  Marlene : They didn't know who you were.

  Joel : [worried]  And Ellie?

  Marlene : She's alright. They brought her back.

  [Joel lays back down, visibly relieved] 

  Marlene : You came all this way. How'd you do it?

  Joel : [sighs]  It was her. She fought like hell to get here. Maybe it was meant to be.

  Marlene : I lost most of my crew crossing the country. I pretty much lost everything. And then you show up, and somehow we find you just in time to save her. Maybe it was meant to be.

  Joel : Take me to her.

  Marlene : You don't have to worry about her anymore. We'll take care of...

  Joel : I worry. Just... let me see her, please.

  Marlene : You can't. She's being prepped for surgery.

  Joel : The hell you mean, surgery?

  Marlene : The doctors tell me the cordyceps, the growth inside her, has somehow mutated. It's why she's immune. Once they remove it, they'll be able to reverse-engineer a vaccine. A vaccine!

  Joel : But it grows all over the brain.

  Marlene : [smiles sadly]  It does.

  Joel : [realization dawns on Joel's face, then muted fury]  Find someone else.

  Marlene : There is no one else!

  Joel : Listen, you are gonna show me where she-

  [Marlene's bodyguard knocks Joel to the floor] 

  Marlene : Stop. I get it. But whatever it is you think you're going through right now, it is nothing to what I have been through. I knew her since she was born. I promised her mother I would look after her.

  Joel : Then why are you letting this happen?

  Marlene : Because this isn't about me! Or even her! There is no other choice here!

  Joel : [scoffs, glaring daggers]  Yeah. You keep telling yourself that bullshit.

  Marlene : [regards him quietly for a moment]  ... March him outta here. He tries anything, shoot him. Don't waste this gift, Joel.

• Bill : [attempting to start a truck]  Battery's dead but the cells are alive.

  Joel : Meaning?

  Bill : Meaning we push it, get it started, and the alternator will recharge the battery.

  Joel : [scoffs, amused]  That your guess?

  Bill : Look, you wanted a plan B, this is as good as it gets!

  Ellie : [walking up to Joel]  What're you thinking?

  Joel : I'm thinkin' you drive and we push.

  [Ellie hops in the car. Joel leans into the window, concerned] 

  Joel : You gonna be okay with this?

  Ellie : Yeah. Not a problem.

  Joel : You're doin' a good job. I figure you should know that.

  Ellie : I won't let you down with this.

• Ellie : Did everyone have boats back then?

  Joel : I had a sixty-foot yacht.

  Ellie : Really?

  Joel : No.

• Joel : [finding a pile of dead, bullet-ridden, bloodied corpses in a room, after trying to find sanctuary from human bandits that tried to kill them in Philadelphia]  Fucking hunters. See, this could have been us.

• Joel : [through his gas mask, in a derelict subway full of infectious spores]  How the hell are you breathing in this stuff?

  Ellie : I wasn't lying to you.

• Ellie : [running up to 'Dawn of the Wolf' movie poster]  Hey, there's another one! These posters are everywhere.

  Joel : I saw this, right before the outbreak.

  Ellie : You did? Does he totally gut her by the end?

  Joel : Nobody gets gutted. It's a dumb teen movie.

  Ellie : Who dragged you to see it, then?

  Joel : [sighs]  I don't know.

• Ellie : I'm sorry about your daughter, Joel, but I have lost people too.

  Joel : You have no idea what loss is.

• Ellie : ...Then you give the ball to the other team?

  Joel : Right. It's called turnover.

  Ellie : And if you clear the ten yards then you're back at... first down?

  Joel : First down, that's right.

  Ellie : Man, it's confusing.

  Joel : You just gotta play it a couple times, it'll all make sense.

• Joel : [running to safety with Ellie unconscious in his arms, sounding close to tears]  I'm gettin' you outta here, girl. I got you. I got you. Come on. We're okay... we're okay... we're okay...

• [Ellie skillfully snipes a hunter from her vantage point while Joel covers the ground] 

  Joel : Atta girl. Just like that.

• Tommy : Well, go on, then.

  Joel : She's immune.

  Tommy : Immune to what?

  [pause] 

  Tommy : Oh, come on...

  Joel : See, I know, but I've seen her breathe enough spores to take down a dozen men... and nothing. Now I wouldn't have believed it neither, but I can show you.

  Tommy : Alright. I'll bite. Why bring her here?

  Joel : I was supposed to deliver her to the Fireflies. Way I figure they're you're boys, you finish the job, you collect the whole damn payment.

  Tommy : I haven't seen a Firefly in years.

  Joel : But you know where they are. Now I'm not askin' for much, Tommy. I just want some simple gear, enough to set me on my way.

  Tommy : And what makes you think I'd do this for you?

  Joel : This isn't for me, Tommy, this is for YOUR damn cause.

  Tommy : My cause is my family now. You ain't talkin' about some walk in the park, here.

  Joel : Jesus, boy! Have Maria get some o' your born-again friends to do it!

  Tommy : They got families, too!

  Joel : Tommy, I need this!

  Tommy : ...You want some gear? Sure. But I ain't takin' that girl off your hands.

• Joel : Now... the girl. Is she alive?

  Bandit : What girl? I don't know no girl!

  [Joel stabs him in the leg] 

  Bandit : FUCK!

  Joel : Focus right here, right here. Or I'll pop your goddamn knee off.

• [Joel and Ellie are exploring a ritzy, abandoned hotel] 

  Ellie : Oh, I'll be checking in for one night. And I would like your prime suite, please!

  Joel : The hell are you doin'?

  Ellie : Why, yes, you can take my luggage upstairs!

  Joel : [scoffs quietly]  You are a weird kid.

• [Joel enters a storage shed containing items belonging to the cannibals' victims, and Ellie's backpack among them] 

  Joel : What is this? Why the hell is Ellie's stuff here?

  [He continues into the next room to find several human corpses that have been hung up for butchering] 

  Joel : Oh, Christ. I gotta find her. I gotta find her...

• [Joel stops the truck and see a injured man] 

  Ellie : Are we going to help that guy

  Joel : [puts on seat belt]  Put your seat belt on Ellie

  Ellie : [puts on seat belt]  What about the guy?

  Joel : Oh! He ain't even hurt

  [Joel floors it and run the man over] 

• Joel : [entering an old quarantine zone in Salt Lake City]  Well, this place takes me back.

  Ellie : How so?

  Joel : It was right after everything went down. I ended up in a triage just like this. Man, everywhere you looked you just... saw families torn apart. The whole damn world seemed to have turned upside down in a blink.

  Ellie : Was that after you lost Sarah?

  Joel : [sadly]  Yes, it was.

  Ellie : I... can't imagine losing someone you love like that. Losing everything that you know. I'm sorry, Joel.

• Marlene : [her gun trained on Joel, who is escaping the hospital with an unconscious Ellie]  You can't save her. Even if you get her out of here, then what? How long before she's torn to pieces by a pack of clickers? That is if she hasn't been raped and murdered first.

  Joel : That ain't for you to decide.

  Marlene : It's what she'd want.

  [Joel pauses, looking conflicted] 

  Marlene : And you know it. Look...

  [cautiously raises her arms] 

  Marlene : You can still do the right thing here. She won't feel anything.

  [Cut to Joel driving away from the hospital, his face hard. After a moment Ellie is heard stirring awake in the back seat] 

  Ellie : What the hell am I wearing?

  Joel : Just take it easy. Drugs are still wearing off.

  Ellie : What happened?

  Joel : ...We found the Fireflies.

  [cut to Marlene slowly approaching Joel to take Ellie from his arms, then back to the car] 

  Joel : Turns out there's a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that are immune. It's dozens, actually. Ain't done a damn bit o' good, neither.

  [cut back to the parking garage. Joel's eyes harden as Marlene approaches. He shoots her] 

  Joel : They've actually st... They've stopped looking for a cure.

  Joel : [Ellie closes her eyes, deeply disappointed]  I'm taking us home.

  [Ellie turns her back to him and says nothing] 

  Joel : I'm sorry.

• Ellie : How will they do it?

  Joel : Do what?

  Ellie : Get the cure from me? You think it'll hurt?

  Joel : No, no. They'll probably just draw some blood - it don't hurt.

  Ellie : I've gotten shots before. They vaccinated us at school. It sucked.

• Ellie : [holding out a comic book]  To be continued! I hate cliffhangers.

  Joel : Where'd you get that?

  Ellie : Uh, back at Bill's? I mean, all this stuff was just lyin' there!

  Joel : [trying to hide a smile]  What else did you get?

  Ellie : Well... here.

  [holds out a cassette tape] 

  Ellie : This make you all nostalgic?

  Joel : [takes it, amused]  You know, that's actually before my time. It is a winner, though.

• Joel : I've been on quite the adventure, little brother.

  Tommy : I reckon it's got somethin' to do with that girl.

  Joel : It's got everything to do with that little girl.

• Ethan : [as Joel catches sight of his backpack and pauses in the hallway]  The fuck you doin'? Keep walking. I said keep walking!

  [Joel slams Ethan into the wall, swiftly disarms and pistol whips him] 

  Joel : Where is the operating room?

  [Ethan says nothing] 

  Joel : I ain't got time for this.

  [shoots Ethan in the stomach] 

  Joel : Where?

  [Ethan gasps hoarsely, Joel shoots him again] 

  Joel : Where?

  Ethan : Top floor... the far end.

  [Joel nods and unceremoniously shoots him between the eyes] 

• Sarah : [climbing out of a wrecked car]  Dad?

  Joel : I'm here, baby! I'm here. C'mon, gimme your hand!

  [Sarah winces in pain upon standing] 

  Joel : What is it?

  Sarah : My leg hurts...

  Joel : How bad?

  Sarah : Pretty bad.

  Tommy : We're gonna need to run.

  Joel : Oh my god.

  [hands Tommy his revolver] 

  Joel : You keep us safe!

  [sweeps Sarah up into his arms] 

  Joel : Come on, baby! Now hold on tight!

• Joel : Where'd you get the money for this?

  Sarah : Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs.

  Joel : Oh, good. You can start helpin' out with the mortgage then.

• Ellie : Jeez! What was up with that big guy?

  Joel : He's been infected for a long time. We call 'em bloaters.

  Ellie : Bloater. Okay. Got it.

  Bill : I hate to interrupt your little biology lesson, but can we get the fuck out of here? Please?

• Marlene : You hand her off, come back, the weapons are yours. Double what Robert sold me.

  Tess : Speaking of which, where are they?

  Marlene : Back at our camp.

  Tess : We're not smuggling shit until I see them.

  Marlene : [wearily]  You'll follow me, you can verify the weapons, I can get patched up.

  [gestures to Ellie] 

  Marlene : But she's not crossing into that part of town. I want Joel to watch over her.

  [Joel and Ellie protest at the same time] 

  Joel : Whoa, whoa, I don't think that's the best idea.

  Ellie : Bullshit, I'm not going with him!

  Marlene : Ellie!

  Ellie : How do you know them?

  Marlene : I was close with his brother Tommy. He said if I was ever in a jam, I could rely on him.

  Joel : Was that before or after he left your little militia group?

  Marlene : He left you, too. He was a good man.

  Tess : Look, just... take her to the North Tunnel and wait for me there.

  Joel : Jesus Christ...

  Tess : She's just cargo, Joel.

  Ellie : Marlene...

  Marlene : No more talking. You'll be fine. Now go with him.

• [finding old corpses outside of a Pittsburgh quarantine zone] 

  Ellie : What happened here? Your fellow hunters do this?

  Joel : Cute. And no, my money's on the military.

  Ellie : Why would they mow down all these people?

  Joel : Well you can't let everyone in.

  Ellie : Ugh. So they killed 'em?

  Joel : Dead people don't get infected. You sacrifice the few to save the many.

  Ellie : That's kinda shitty.

  Joel : Yeah.

• Ellie : [looking at an old evacuation notice]  "Mandatory evacuation." Evacuate to where?

  Joel : Where you think? Quarantine zone. See, some places got a heads up before the infection showed up. Most didn't.

  Ellie : Man. Must be hard, just leaving all your stuff behind like that.

  Joel : That ain't the hard part.

• Ellie : [in a panic after Joel falls down an elevator shaft]  Joel! Joel!

  Joel : I'm alright! Are you okay?

  Ellie : No! You scared the shit out of me! I'm... I'm gonna climb down there, okay?

  Joel : No! Stay up there! I'll make my way up to you.

  Ellie : Don't do anything stupid!

  Joel : [to himself]  I'll try.

• Joel : [handing Ellie a pistol]  How 'bout somethin' a... little more your size. It's for emergencies only.

  Ellie : Okay.

  [tucks it away] 

  Joel : Now the safety's on, do you know how to switch it off?

  Ellie : I do.

  Joel : Okay, you just... you gotta respect it. This is not...

  Ellie : Joel. I'll be careful.

  Joel : Okay.

• Joel : [to Ellie as they enter Salt Lake City]  Ha, feel that breeze, huh? I tell ya, on a day like this I'd just sit on my front porch, pluck away at my six-string. Once we're done with this whole thing, I'm gonna teach you how to play guitar. Yeah, I reckon you'd really like that.

• Henry : We got a hideout not too far from here. Be safer if we chat there.

  Joel : [debates it for a moment]  Alright, take us there.

  Henry : Follow me.

  Sam : Sorry about the whole gun thing.

  Ellie : It's okay. I would've probably done the same thing. Where are you from?

  Sam : All the way from Hartford.

  Ellie : Really? I heard some bad stuff going on down there.

  Henry : We gotta be careful. We're right next to one of their lookout areas. Is it just you and your daughter?

  Ellie : We're not related. We're more like, um...

  Joel : I promised someone I'd look after her.

  Henry : Yeah. I can appreciate that.

• [Joel wakes with a start after a nightmare. Ellie is sitting by the window] 

  Ellie : You mumble in your sleep. I hate bad dreams.

  Joel : Yeah. Me too.

  Ellie : You know, I've never been this close. To the outside. Look how dark it is! It can't be any worse out there... can it?

• Joel : You picked a hell of a place to hole up, didn't ya?

  Bill : As bad as those things are, at least they're predictable. It's the normal people that scare me. You of all people should understand that.

  Ellie : What does that mean?

  Joel : [sighs]  Nothin'. You sure that gate's gonna hold 'em?

  Bill : Well I locked it, they don't have a key.

• [exploring an old bookstore] 

  Ellie : Man! Look at all these books! I wish I had more room in my backpack.

  Joel : Oh, so you're a reader, huh?

  Ellie : Well, when I'm not running away from hunters or infected? Yeah! I read all the time.

• Ellie : Hey, fuck you, man! I didn't ask for this!

  Joel : Me neither. Tess, what the hell are we doin' here?

  Tess : What if it's true?

  Joel : I can't believe-!

  Tess : What if, Joel? I mean we've come this far, let's just finish it.

  Joel : Do I need to remind you what is out there?

  [Tess glances knowingly between Joel and Ellie] 

  Tess : I get it.

  [Tess walks away with Ellie, leaving Joel frustrated but with no choice but to follow] 

• Ellie : [looking up in wonder at the ruins of Boston]  Holy moly. I guess this is what these buildings look like up close. They're so damn tall! So, what happened here?

  Tess : They bombed the hell out of the surrounding areas to the quarantine zones, hoping to kill as much of the infected as possible. It worked, for a little while.

  Joel : Hmph.

  [a clicker screeches in the distance, alarming Ellie] 

  Ellie : Uh, what the hell was that?

  Joel : Tess, you hear that?

  Tess : Yeah. Sounded pretty far away, though.

  Joel : Shit.

  Ellie : Are we safe?

  Tess : For now. Come on.

• Ellie : [entering a music store]  Whoa! Look at this place! Man, this is kinda sad.

  Joel : What is?

  Ellie : [flipping through records]  All this music that's just sitting here. No one's around to listen to it. I dunno. Doesn't seem right.

• [entering a ritzy hotel] 

  Ellie : Whoa, fancy! You ever stay at a place like this? Before it all went to shit, I mean.

  Joel : Ha, no. No, this is too rich for my blood.

• Sam : [reading graffiti on the side of a boarded up house]  "Will shoot on sight." Lots of friendly people lived here.

  Henry : First few months after the outbreak they had a lotta lootin'. Everyone got paranoid. You remember any of that, Joel?

  Joel : Yeah, everyone barricaded themselves in their homes. Then supplies started runnin' low. That's when you saw what people are really capable of.

• [Joel and Ellie enter an alley just as a clicker rounds the corner and detonates a tripwire] 

  Joel : Jesus!

  Ellie : Whoa, Nelly! What the hell was that!

  Joel : That... would be one of Bill's traps.

  Ellie : Your friend a bit paranoid, maybe?

  Joel : Oh, that's puttin' it lightly.

  Ellie : What's the deal with this guy?

  Joel : Well, he helped us smuggle stuff into the city. He's... he knows how to find things.

  Ellie : Well let's hope we don't blow up trying to find him.

  Joel : Just watch your step, you'll be fine.

• Joel : [protecting Ellie from infected]  Get the hell off her, you son of a bitch!

• Tess : You know, I was thinkin'... after we get back, we can take it easy for a little while.

  Joel : [scoffs]  You wanna take it easy?

  Tess : Hey, you're the one always going on about laying low.

  Joel : And you always brushed me off.

  Tess : [suggestively]  Well. I won't this time.

  Joel : I'll believe it when I see it.

• [in a flooded coffee shop] 

  Ellie : Ugh! This place stinks!

  Joel : Yeah, wood's all rotten.

  Ellie : Did you go to coffee shops a lot?

  Joel : I did. All the time.

  Ellie : And what would you get?

  Joel : Just... just coffee.

• Ellie : [They enter a room after escaping some armored military trucks; Joel lays down on a couch]  What are you doing?

  Joel : Killing time.

  Ellie : Well, what am I supposed to do?

  Joel : I am sure you will figure that out.