Seventy Times Seven (2012 Video) User Reviews (4)

Call the Pastor

[bkoganbing · 3/10 · 19 November 2017]

Seventy Times Seven would be a Christian romance film turned into a tragedy. When the one you're meant to have goes and gets killed what to do?

Director Josiah David Warren shows an idyll of love between star Josiah David Warren and Tina Ballerina. These two even throw Bible verses back and forth. They settle in their dream house and plan to have seven kids.

But tragedy strikes as Ballerina is found shot to death in said dream house by her husband and fellow dreamer. For awhile Warren is even a suspect. And why would he not be especially since the cops find an automatic weapon in the home?

Warren can't handle it and is going off the deep end. In fact went off it twice. But this is the only film I ever saw where instead of people calling the police when twice he goes after a suspect the friends call their pastor to pray. Really now.

It's not much of a mystery either. It's the one who's faking the Christianity. It couldn't possibly ever be a 'real' Christian. This film is the best example I've ever seen of the 'no true Scotsman' fallacy on the screen.

This one is for that closed circle of church audiences and not sure even they would buy it.

Incomprehensibly silly

[pjmartinau-40548 · 1/10 · 20 February 2020]

A man has the perfect life, perfect wife. That is, until he finds her murdered on the bathroom floor. He is understandably upset. Since the police are a bunch of buffoons, who talk and act like morons, they have no success in finding the killer. So it's up to the main star to take the law into his own hands and find the killer. His number one suspect is his own sister-in-law! He rocks up at her door, screams, cries and threatens to kill her without even a shred of evidence! Instead of the police arresting him, they arrest his sister-in-law! The police seem certain that she must be guilty and ready to serve a life sentence, thanks to the baseless accusation made by the widower (whom they also suspect of killing his own wife). So it's up to the main star, his parents and his pastor to determine who was guilty of this mysterious murder. After learning that his best friend visited his house prior to the murder, e suddenly concludes that his best friend was guilty of the murder. After a struggle the best friend holds him at gun point, tells him all the details of how and why he murdered his wife. Then the widower just casually knocks the gun out of his hand, then the police rock up to arrest the villain, everyone lives happily ever after. Some films are so-bad-they're-good. This is just plain boring and annoying.

Wish I could give Zero

[pallaresdrive · 1/10 · 25 June 2023]

This movie is a complete waste of time, predictable, very rushed from scene to scene. Extremely bad acting, I want to know where they find these actors so I can join and get paid to be lame. The camera angles are terrible and very shaky like a bad episode of cops. The sound on almost every scene is terrible or echoes, there are better sound checks at the karaoke bar. The story line seems to be written by an amateur who made the film from a first draft. At one point the main character said "where was God when my wife and baby were killed?", I was wondering where God was when he allowed this horrible film to be made. Cheesy dialogue, corny lines, unrealistic story and believability. This movie could have been told in 10 minutes yet they dragged from 20 second scene to scene because they had to make it the length of a standard movie. The main character kept screaming he would find who did it and kill him, well I want to find who made this movie so I can get an hour and a half of my life back. Halfway through I wanted to confess I was the killer so maybe he would shoot me so I wouldn't have to finish watching the rest of the treacherous movie. Seventy times seven is 490 and that's how many minutes long this movie felt.

Relatable Themes

[mandyvs-87214 · 8/10 · 7 July 2021]

Love, jealousy, betrayal, and forgiveness are the themes of this movie. It's an engaging film that will be enjoyed by anyone who watches.