Chrissy Goldberg
Lauren
Leonardo
Eugene 'The Machine' McCormack
Zack
Donatello
Rachel Ruysch
The President
Worker #1 (as Mike Schmal)
Worker #2
Taco (and ear) Eater
Lee Harvey Herzkauf
Principal Westly
Concerned Factory Worker
Anti-Purity Girl
Slater
Ron Simms
Lauren's Chauffer
Kelly
Beautiful Boy
Beautiful Girl
Jiggles the Juggalo
Coach Kotter
Blind Security Guard
Peanutch (Metal Detector Guard)
Scrätch
Arnold, Asst. to Mr. Herzkauf
Cigar Face
Janitor
Michelangelo (as Mark 'Toxiclife' Quinette)
Rembrandt
Raphael
Aunt Bee
Miss Adeline Crabtree
Coach Sandusky
Shower Gyno American #1
Shower Gyno American #2
Shower Gyno American #3
Shower Gyno American #4
Shower Gyno American #5
Shower Gyno American #6
Shower Gyno American #7
Shower Gyno American #8
Eugene's Tranny Friend
Naked Shower Boy #1
Naked Shower Boy #2
Naked Shower Boy #3
Naked Shower Boy #4
Father Sandusky
Roller Girl
Mr. Chips
Terrance Horowitz
Hurley
Tromaville High Cheerleader (as Erica Frasse)
Bully
Uterus Suggestor
Justin Bieber Fan (as Marty Sokol)
Justin Bieber's Nephew
One Direction Fan
Dido #1
Dido #2
Radical Dude / Toxie
Miss Bliss (as Anna Olsen)
Barry Jennings
Student Harassed by Blind Security Guard
Glee Club Fan
Heavenly Creature (as Ashley P. Clark)
It's a Miracle!
Kabukicar Passenger (as Mark Kaufman)
Kabukicar Passenger
Count Smokula
Crabtree's Dog
The World Champion (as The World Champion)
Purity Day Student
Hot Gothic Gyno
Self
Doctor Doovall
Dead Patient
Hot Nurse
Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. / Teenie Weenie (as Pat Klouman)
Jock / Toxie
Knuckles Jr.
Shot Taker #1
Shot Taker #2
Dancing Boy
RapeDoor
Rapedoor
American Chicken Bunker Cretin
Head Smash Cretin
Ricky Retardo
Cop #1
Cop #2
Self (as Eric 'Sleazy' Sanders)
Heart Rip Cretin
Professor Holt
Victoria
Dick Smith
Nipples Jr.
Looks Like A Dick
Teacher
Baby Gonzo
Tromaville High School Security Guard
Cretin (as Rob Gabrieze)
Tristan
Tromaville Citizen
Jock (uncredited)
Tromaville Citizen (uncredited)
Chrissy (archive footage) (uncredited)
Warren (archive footage) (uncredited)
Factory Worker (uncredited)
Thug (uncredited)
Cretin sprayed with Milk (uncredited)
Tromaville High Student (uncredited)
High School Student (uncredited)
Party Goer (uncredited)
Tromaville High Teacher (uncredited)
Narrator (uncredited)
Bisexual Jock (uncredited)
Student (uncredited)
Joey Muscles (uncredited)
Cretin army (uncredited)
Band Geek (uncredited)
Punk (uncredited)