Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

Bill Barretta: Pepe the King Prawn, Rowlf the Dog, Dr. Teeth, The Swedish Chef, Bobo the Bear, Big Mean Carl, Baby Boss, Carlo Flamingo, Leprechaun Security Guard

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rowlf the Dog : [On the sign in German]  Die Muppets?

  Waldorf : It looks like the reviews are out early.

  Statler : Or maybe that's the suggestion box.

• Dominic Badguy : [Walter is skeptical of the Madrid show's success]  I'm glad to say the Spanish reviewers disagree with you as well, Walter. They loved us. Five out of five jamon serranos.

  Walter : Whoa. Those reviews really came out fast.

  Pepe the King Prawn : And "Citizen Kane" only got four jamon serranos.

• Scooter : TWO Kermits?... Well, that explains a lot.

  Rowlf the Dog : I knew no one could have a cold for that long.

  Pepe the King Prawn : Or have that cheesy an accent, okay.

• Swedish Chef : Shern de shern de herf! Sher de chicky en de farney hug!

  Jean Pierre Napoleon : To help with our investigation, can you do a full translation?

  Translator : What the Chef said to you was "Schnoop do schnnop do schnook". It's not Swedish.

• [first lines] 

  First AD : And cut!

  Walter : Wow, that was so amazing!

  Kermit : Walter, you did a wonderful job.

  Walter : Thank you, Kermit. Did we get that?

  Miss Piggy : We got it.

  Kermit : We got it, yup.

  First AD : [speaks into bullhorn]  Movie's over, people, go home. That is a wrap.

  Scooter : Okay, nice work, everyone. Make sure to fill out your I-9's, and we'll see you on the next one.

  Scooter : [crew leaves the set]  So uh, what do we do now?

  Fozzie Bear : Well, we're together again. We got the theater and all our fans are back.

  Rowlf the Dog : Actually, those were extras.

  Fozzie Bear : I saw a few tapping their toes.

  Scooter : Yeah, those were paid dancers.

  Fozzie Bear : Oh.

  Miss Piggy : Or, maybe since we're all here, now could be the perfect time for you and me to tie the knot, Kermie.

  Kermit : [stammering]  Well... I mean, maybe I could-...

  Walter : Hey, what's the camera still doing here?

  Statler : Oh no, disaster! That can only mean one thing!

  Waldorf : Doggone it, you're right.

  Statler : Mm-hmm.

  Waldorf : It looks like they've ordered a sequel.

  Statler , Waldorf : Doh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

• Kermit , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Gonzo , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : [singing 'We're Doing A Sequel']  We're doing a sequel...

  Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : I don't mean to be a stickler, But this is the seventh sequel to our original motion picture

• Kermit , Gonzo , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : [singing 'We're Doing A Sequel']  We're doing a sequel

  Beaker : [Beaker is teleported into a monitor with a test pattern screen, running frantically]  Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

  Kermit , Gonzo , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : Let's give it a shot,

  Kermit : All we need now is a half-decent plot...

  Gonzo : Got it: an epic love story between a very handsome, long-nosed, purple thing and a beautiful chicken.

  Gonzo : [the scenery falls over]  I call it: "Gonzo With the Wind".

  Camilla : [Camilla clucks] 

  Kermit : Does anybody have any other ideas?

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, oh! It's about getting the Muppets back together again to stop an evil oil baron from demolishing the old studio!

  Kermit : Fozzie, did you even watch our last film?

  Miss Piggy : It's about a frog who marries a beautiful, perfect pig, and they have to kiss each other a lot!

  Kermit : Uh...

  Swedish Chef : [subtitled Swedish-sounding gibberish]  How about a film on the existential conundrum of religious faith?

  Kermit : I don't think Americans watch subtitled films.

  Dominic Badguy : [Ricky Gervais appearing as himself]  Kermit, how about the Muppets go on a world tour?

  Kermit : [Kermit gasps in surprise]  That's perfect!

• Scooter : We've all been thinking, and, uh... well, after you and Miss Piggy get married, what's gonna happen to the tour?

  The Great Gonzo : And to us?

  Constantine : Well, now you guys have all the freedom you want. You don't need me. I'm done with Muppets.

  [they all react in surprise] 

  Constantine : But, hey, it's been a good run, right? Hmm? Good luck.

  Floyd Pepper : [watching him leave]  Kermit!

  Rowlf the Dog : Did, uh... did he just say what I thought he said?

  Scooter : What are we gonna do without Kermit?

  Floyd Pepper : The only thing we can do. Pack up, go to the wedding, and head back home.

• Constantine : Comrades, I'm afraid I have bad news. Walter and Fonzie have quit the Muppets.

  Lew Zealand : [the group gasps]  Wait. You can quit the Muppets?

  Rowlf the Dog : Wait a second. Walter quit the Muppets? We just did a whole movie where he joined the Muppets.

  Floyd Pepper : Yeah, we sure spent a lot of time on it.

  Rizzo the Rat : Ha! I'll say. Maybe even at the expense of other long-standing, beloved Muppets. Come on, Robin.

  Robin : [following him out]  Coming.

  Constantine : Well, as the old saying goes... the show must continue, in a timely fashion.

  The Great Gonzo : Wait. Fozzie and Walter are part of our family. We can't let them go without a fight.

• Walter : We're sorry, Kermit. We're sorry that we didn't notice you were missing. We're sorry we didn't tell you often enough how much you mean to all of us. We're sorry we ever took you for granted. But that's never going to happen again. Because if Kermit has to go back to the Gulag...

  [holding out his wrists] 

  Walter : ...you'll have to take me, too.

  Fozzie Bear : You're my best friend, Kermit. Wherever you go, I go. You'll have to take me, too.

  The Great Gonzo : And me. Kermit, we convinced ourselves that evil frog was you because he gave us what we thought we wanted.

  Rowlf the Dog : When what we really wanted...

  Scooter : What we really needed...

  Miss Piggy : Was you, Kermit. The actual, real you.

  Nadya : It would appear you were right, Kermit. I guess this is your family. And families belong together. You are free to go. Forever.

• Sam Eagle : Congratulations, weirdos, you've saved the Crown Jewels!

  Jean Pierre Napoleon : And you've caught my nemesis, the Lemur. Look at his little costume. That's adorable!

  Dominic Badguy : I'm not adorable.

  Sam Eagle : He *is* adorable.

  Constantine : You're adorable! Did you make that kitty-cat outfit?

  Rowlf the Dog : The bad guy is Dominic Badguy!

• Gonzo : [about Dominic]  Well, he seems like a nice guy.

  Rowlf the Dog : Yeah. Humble and honest.

• Kermit the Frog , Gonzo , Fozzie Bear , Miss Piggy , Rowlf the Dog , Scooter : We're doing a sequel.

  Kermit the Frog : Let's give it a go.

  Tony Bennett : With Hollywood stars.

  Lady Gaga : And more one-liner cameos.