Red / Raccoon / Cpt. Crookygrin / Mr. Dingleberry / Jacques Bond / Nep-Dawg / Japanese School Girl / 8-bit Gelato Bene (voice)
Blue / Narrator / Shaw / Japanese Guy / Trollz0r (voice)
Lord Takagami (voice)
Lord Tourettes (voice)
Pink (voice)
Stacy (voice)
Chad-Gendarmerie (voice)
Broseph (voice) (as Mike Nassar)
Umbrella salesman (voice) (as Nicholas J. Ainsworth)
Party-goers (voice)
Ghetto Cutter (voice)
Bully / Dock Worker (voice)
Global Rescue Services operator (voice)
Dock Guard (voice)
Dock Worker / French Father / Cumulonimbus Ninja (voice)
Steve / TNT Boat Foreman / Dead Ninja (voice)
French Cop (voice)
British Chap (voice)