This movie started off so clunky that I almost turned it off. But the characters warmed up nicely so I kept watching. I was glad I did. I was starting to think I'd score this 7 or 8 (my 8 is the point where I try to buy my own copy of a movie). I was hoping the scene near the end was a dream. The reality made me so angry that I was thinking my score might be more like a 5. But there was still more film remaining. In the short amount of time remaining, I restored to a solid 7.
I am disappointed that in 2013 when this was made, that it was still acceptable for parents of both boys to be so incredibly homophobic. However, I just recently saw the synopsis for a documentary that stated something like 20% of young men in shelters were kicked out of their homes when their sexual orientation did not align with their parents' wishes.
So, for a cheap low budget movie, this meant enough to me to write my first review ever here on IMDB, even though I've been a 'member' for many years.
I really encourage you to read the review posted as:
"An unrefined, but very touching film that packs a punch."
bennyjayruss30 November 2013
The single review I read prior to watching the movie did not give me any clue about the intensity of the ending of this movie. But on a fair note, maybe I would not have watched it. Who knows. But the review by bennyjayruss concludes how 'unforgettable' this movie surprisingly really is.
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walterhpdx20 July 2017I've been watching lighthearted movies all week, and IMDb suggested this one as similar to a movie I'd just finished. I didn't realize this was quite the opposite of lighthearted, and got sucked into the movie, not caring what direction it took.
The two leads are your regular highschooler types; impulsive, wondrous, and at the same time, guarded. You could tell Mike finally had someone to reach out to, though Will was far too guarded at first. And when they finally got on the same page, that made for magic.
The chemistry between the two leads was undeniable, and I should have seen the inevitable conclusion, giving that the class assignment was about 'Romeo & Juliet'. It still caught me off guard, though.
Yes, it's a sad movie - but in sadness, where you can find hope and not despair, you know that you've connected with your audience. And that's just what this movie does. -
Like anyone who has gone through an experience like this, like me, no no never can totally understand what's going on in this movie. While some scenes seem disjointed, the base of the story made me want to watch this movie multiple times. The horrifying ending of the story unfortunately happens way too often in this world. Without giving away the story I can say that I could not stop crying after seeing this. Even if you're not gay, this is a good story to watch to kind of understand what goes through people's mind and how awful things can get for them.
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Gordon-1127 November 2016This film tells the story of a timid teenager in school, who meets his first love when a new boy joins the class. They have a beautiful time together, but they are afraid to continue their relationship due to fear of both internal and external forces.
"Monster Pies" starts off very sweet, as the two guys begin their friendship and gradually progress from there. The two actors make their characters very likable, because they radiate of innocence and charm. They look so cute and convincing when they are with each other. As a result, I was unprepared by the ending. It is touching the way it ends, but I wish it ended differently. -
branniganslaw8 November 2014Twice I've watched it and both times I've cried at exactly the same spots. Few films deliver a double punch like that. Considering the micro budget, that's a major achievement.
Based on spoiler criticism of the ending on IMDb, I almost didn't buy it. Who needs another film with a tragic gay ending but as I was to learn, the tragedy part was quickly followed by redemption. In the aftermath, Mike realizes that the fears both boys had over their sexuality were really overblown. The universal acceptance by the teacher, the parents and even the school bully will serve as notice to any at risk teen that it does indeed get better.
I also liked the photographic style. It was competently shot and the colorist has done a fine job. While budget restrictions meant this was always going to have a video feel, I for one appreciate the authentic capture of the southern latitude light. Only films shot in places like Melbourne, Sao Paulo and Cape Town have this crisp electric big sky southern hemisphere look and that can easily be lost when layered with big budget Hollywood "film look" processing.
Finally, a note about actor Lucas Linehan. While I can't comment on his acting skills (a role like this is pretty standard teen angst and any soap actor could have rendered it as well), what made his involvement special was his decision to sink his own savings at the 11th hour to save the film. From the interviews he's done, it's clear that struggles with sexuality are not part of his own personal story, yet he felt passionate enough about the project and the director to make a stake.
Thank you Lucas! Thank you Lee! -
david-316524 December 2013I agree with many of the comments left so far and none of them prevent me from absolutely loving this low budget indie Australian film. The story is not new, but these are stories that should be told and told again. Especially as there are so few from an Australian perspective.
As others have mentioned, in parts the production can be a little messy. However you quickly get used to this, and in the end (unintentionally) it makes the whole film feel more real. Imagine finding a slightly tattered rug, but once wrapped around you it was the warmest most comfortable rug you could find. That's how I felt about this film.
The two leads are great young actors. Considering this was Lucas Linehams first feature film, he has done an outstanding job and I look forward to seeing him in any upcoming roles.
I could imagine this movie being put on a school curriculum for students anywhere in the world to discuss the concepts of same sex attracted students, bullying and domestic violence. As a result of these themes, it does get upsetting at times. But please don't let that put you off seeing this very moving movie. -
seronjaa-797-31312415 July 2016the plot is similar to many other gay movies out there. the characters are nice. i like the back story about the main character's families. that adds some depth to it. unfortunately, there are too many clichés in the movie- too much crying and emotional breakdowns, ignorant family members and the worse- suicide. i think will didn't have a real motive for suicide. yes, his life sucks, but he was a strong character. i think in RL he wouldn't do it, or at least not in that moment. that was a disappointment for me. and after that scene, i just wanted for the movie to end as fast as possible. it's a nice movie to watch and you will probably love it, if it's your first gay movie, but it's nothing we haven't seen yet. i wished the dialogue would have been more interesting. at least i could enjoy lucas linehan's sexy Australian accent :D
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mgold-819 January 2014Did we really need another gay-themed film where the gay kid kills himself? What kind of message does this send to actual real-life teenagers who are suicidal? If they'd just ended the movie at about 69 minutes in, with Will and Mike falling asleep next to each other under the tree, I'd have given it a 9. As it is, this movie is at best a huge disappointment. At worst, what's to stop a very depressed gay boy in Miami or Melbourne or Manchester from watching this movie and coming away from it with the perception that it validates what he'd already been contemplating, i.e. that suicide is, indeed, the only way out? This is a very possible real-world consequence that the people responsible for making this film apparently didn't consider.
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larkpraise19 March 2014I got this movie on DVD in January. I have watched it almost every night since then so I feel I can give an adequate review. I have never been affected by a gay film as much as this film has impacted me. Maybe because the two main characters are so easy to identify with and because you long for the happy ending that does not come.
Certainly the film is low-budget and there are some creaks in the plot. But what makes this film work is endearing charm of Tristan Barr and Lucas Linehan in the lead roles. I have never seen a gay film where the two leads had such chemistry with one another as this film (and I own quite a lot of gay films with the coming out theme).
Everyone comments on Lucas Linehan's brilliant performance as the tragic Will. Linehan succeeds on all counts certainly and this can make it easy to overlook Tristan Barr's amazing and equally brilliant performance as the lonely, nerdy, misfit who has to endure the endless bullying and taunting of his schoolmates even though he is not "out of the closet".
Seeing that many reviewers have commented on Linehan's performance, I want to say something about Tristan Barr. He, too, has many, many haunting moments in the film. In the beginning when the teacher is passing out the handouts for the project and Will passes Mike the papers and Mike drops them the expression on his face says, "Boy, he's going to think I'm a clumsy oaf". His awkwardness is evident simply by the look on his face...even before he meets Will. The next great "Mike" moment is when the teacher asks Will to read an excerpt from "Romeo and Juliet" and Mike is completely mesmerized by Will's sensitivity in reading. The camera at first focuses on Will reading then captures Mike's expression.....he can't take his eyes off him. What Barr seems to be thinking (and what he is telling the audience) is "can this guy be like me??? Is he gay"?? A good actor will convey with his face and eyes what dialogue cannot express. The director wisely muffles the sound as Will continues reading and the camera focuses on Mike's "thoughts" revealed only through his face.
My favorite "Mike" moment is the scene in the garage where he has set up a small film projector and fixed a big screen to show Will, who has never been to a drive-in, what its like to see a movie there. Will is unquestionably happy and thrilled at what Mike has done for him and Mike's face shows delight in Will's happiness. This is probably my favorite scene in the whole film because it shows the caring, compassion and love between these two lonely misfits. Mike's face as he looks at Will enjoying himself has a poignant pathos and one has to have a heart of stone not to be moved by such a showing of love in such a simple, understated way.
Other Great "Mike Moments": When Will pushes him unexpectedly into the pool and Mike reacts with "hurt" because it brings the bullying he has known throughout his life into reality.
When Mike shyly asks Will if they are "together". Mike's longing to take Will to the dance and Will rejects him because he is "scared". One's heart aches for Mike because we feel his pain just as we feel Will's pain with his abusive father.
WARNING: BIG SPOILER ALERT: Mike running down the street because he fears for Will's life and comforting Will when Will breaks down after the confrontation with his father. The last 17 minutes of the film all belong to Barr who never loses his audience. His broken heart is revealed for all to see, even the bully. His running out to the grassy field and digging his hands in the dirt and letting out his grief because he last lost his "great love" makes you want to reach out and say....its all just a bad dream Mike. You're going to wake up just as the teacher puts the film in the VCR and Will is going to be right next to you telling you to "calm down" ...you were just having a horrible nightmare. At least that is how I choose to look at the ending.
This is one movie I will never tire of seeing and let's give credit where credit is due....Linehan AND Barr's touching and brilliant performances brought out by director, Lee Galea! -
ohlabtechguy22 January 2021Another low budget movie that offers yet another gay themed, sad story. Acting and script were good enough. Hopefully, there aren't that many ultra abusive fathers out there. I would rather have seen a more optimistic ending, but we got hammered with the same old tale of self-hatred, shame and guilt. There was no wisdom or example provided that showed teens how to NOT engage in all these negative emotions in spite of the prevailing cultural values. No one should ever let culture shame them over who they are or how they were born. I'm gay, born in 1960, and I NEVER EVER felt inferior or shame, despite being bullied periodically in high school. I thought I was better and smarter. I never thought about killing myself because I was born gay. My sexuality was intensely private so I rarely discussed it. It would be nice to see a movie that shows how teens can have confidence in their minds and can have strong values without succumbing to either peer pressure or cultural pressure.
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Florentdubdub24 August 2014With a scenario laden with maudlin clichés, this movie is redeemed by its convincing acting and a direction that does not take itself too seriously (contrary to the overwrought "Were the World Mine," for instance). Most of the time the actors manage to make the phony dialogs sound true, a remarkable feat for this kind of indie movie. Unfortunately the use of music rarely seems motivated by what happens on screen, leaving the spectator with a weird feeling of disconnection between image and sound. As for the main protagonist's female best friend, a stock character of gay-themed teen movies, her existence does not seem motivated by the story as she almost completely disappears midway through, leaving a conflict unresolved--an unfortunate error in the scenario that goes to show the amateurishness of the whole thing. To conclude, this is a mediocre movie saved only by the touching sincerity of the narration and the two leading actors, especially Lucas Lineham who I'd like to see again on screen in the future.
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tonysloane22 July 2017I cannot believe that some "critics" awarded one or two stars to a lovely, enjoyable but ultimately sad film. What do you not like? It was shot on a limited budget with two untried actors who gave their most. It had humour, pathos and eventually sadness. I just don't understand how anyone could be unmoved with a film that exposes all the emotions that so many gay men feel unable to express. It was a lovely film, and I do hope the main actors go on to even greater fame. Thank you Australia for a beautiful film.
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lazyambition29 April 2023This movie was so good at first. It was sweet, cute, and fun. It did not rely on nudity, sex scenes, or offensive stereotypes to try to entertain the viewer. It was everything that I have been looking for in a gay movie since I came out twenty three years ago. William is new to the school and he becomes friends with his closeted classmate Michael.
*******SPOILERS*****
As the two get closer William developes feelings for Michael and the two begin to date. Unfortunately it has a horrible ending. The parents find out their sons are gay and don't approve. So one of the characters commits suicide. -
ekeby7 April 2014I'm kind of astonished at the glowing reviews here. Did we all see the same movie?
The one I saw was chock full of scenes plucked from dozens of other movies and a plot that was picked up in a second hand plot store.
The actors seem adequate, but it's a little hard to tell because the material they have to work with is so awful. The film is in always in focus, and the sound quality is good. That's about it for positive qualities.
I suppose if you're young, or haven't seen many gay movies, you might mistake this for art. It's not. It's tripe. Cross it off your list. -
Monster Pies is the story of two average, slightly nerdy guys in high school who fall in love and experience practically everything guys have experienced in gay movies since The Boys in the Band - in other words: too much. Too much for THIS movie, anyway. Robert Altman could have juggled this much melodrama, but this is a small movie that staggers under an unnecessarily heavy load.
It's as if Lee Galea, the movie's writer-director-producer-executive producer-editor-etc, had a long list of things he felt compelled to include in his one shot at a feature-length gay movie, and most of them just get shoehorned into the story in places where they don't fit. The result is a painfully clumsy movie, in which the viewer gets slung around from one trauma to the next, with no sense of continuity or understanding of why all this stuff is happening. It's arbitrary, it's tiring, and it makes it very hard to care about these kids, since they live in some slightly skewed universe in which nothing makes sense.
So... why did I give this wreck of a movie five stars? Because of the two kids. Five or six times in the course of this disaster there is such sweet, strong, simple and pure affection between them that it makes all the other crap worth suffering through.
It's like gentle magic. You're wrestling with this movie, trying to enjoy it but finding that an impossible feat, and then Will and Mike look at each other, and say something so tender and so lovely that you can't help loving them.
Only when the two guys are alone together is this movie worth watching, and not always even then. Those few magical scenes last a total of maybe fifteen minutes, and they're scattered through the movie almost at random, like diamonds in a landfill. They make Monster Pies well worth watching, but it's rough going in between. -
Dying-Atheist21 February 2019It took me a while to decide on a star rating for this film and here is the main reason; Seems like the writer wanted to cover too much ground. So, what you get is too many truncated story lines.
Although the two main characters, Mike, actor Tristan Barr, and William, played by Lucas Linehan, were well fleshed out, Other characters that seemed to have viable subplots, seem to just disappear.
Lee Galea the Writer/Director, (this may be the problem,) had a good topic, L/G/B/T/Q+ teen love, their, (this is not a grammar error BTW, but the new non-binary acceptable first person,) concept needed a three hour movie.
This is a very minor point, but the title. Since we all know how important marketing is, Monster Pies was a turn-off, sorry. I completely understood after watching the film, but when you have a limited market share to begin with, everything counts.
The biggest positive for me is that the main protagonists looked like they could be teenagers, and real teenagers. Other castings decisions seem to be somewhat forced at times. That does not mean they were not fantastic, e.g. the band, but was it like fulfilling a quota? This is part of the problem with non-developed sub-plots more than anything.
Also, my last point. It did actually make me tear up. So there ya go. A teen romance with main characters that I bought into. -
bennyjayruss30 November 2013Monster Pies isn't a very well made film, but it's terribly moving. Once it gets more exposure, there's no doubt in my mind that it will be seen as an LGBT cinematic treasure. It's an important film for Australia too, a country that has only had brief exposure to gay themes on television and in film (Priscilla being the most notable film). It took me a while to get into the movie, because it was hard to get past the shabby production value. As the leading actors took their stride and developed an infectious chemistry, the romance took off and led me on yet another incredibly moving experience. Isn't it weird though, that a film like this (which is far from great) is one that I'll never forget. It does pack a punch, and it will stay with you.
We follow the life of Mike (Tristan Barr), who is an awkward teenager that works in a video store, and also gets teased about his sexuality. In his English class, Mike gets paired with an attractive new student, Will (Lucas Linehan), who has a manly exterior, but hidden sensitivity. They have to create a modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, which forces them to spend lots of time together. As they work on their project, they start having loads of fun and establish a unique connection. It's a coming of age story (which is prevalent in LGBT films), but it's more realistic and moving than most.
From the get-go, it's obvious that this is an extremely low-budget film. The font of the opening credits, and the horrendously performed opening exchange by Mike and his teacher just left me nervous about how the rest of the film would unfold. In the first 5 minutes alone, we're exposed to some of the most frequent romance movie clichés in the movie business. The long first glance, helping each other pick up dropped papers, having to share a book in class, being unintentionally over-enthusiastic about seeing him trust me, this list goes on.
There are some really off-putting things in this movie. One of them being that Mike works in a Video-tape renting store. No, not DVDs, but videos. I haven't seen a DVD store sell VHS tapes since I was in 5th Grade, so it's a curious sight to behold. Another thing that put me off was the unoriginal comedy clichés, such as the classic "see anything you like" gag. I don't know what director Lee Galea was going for, but this film is so aware of itself. Many of the actors don't know the meaning of the word 'subtle,' the script is filled with moments straight out of other movies, and the choppy and amateur style bugged me. I want to have mercy on this film, but then I just wouldn't be honest to myself and my readers. While this grained on me in the beginning, I really got into the film as it focused more on Will.
On this sea of bad acting and shabby film craftsmanship, floated the revelation that is Lucas Linehan. His performance is the sunshine that turned the film into a really enjoyable one. There are some pretty great moments in the film, and they ALL include him. One of my favourites being when he looks back at Mike in the side-view mirror of the car. It was quick and subtle, but it showed us that Mike is on his mind. All of the moments where they rehearsed their Romeo and Juliet assignment were extremely heart-warming. I just felt overjoyed at the 'wolfman kiss' scene. They did that really well, and Tristan Barr's facial expression afterwards was his greatest moment in the film.
As time goes on and the story progresses, everything feels so much smoother and more entertaining. The romance develops nicely, due to the chemistry the leads share out of the blue. After the 'wolfman kiss' scene, I really started to get into the character's and their story. The swimming pool scene, which was also cliché to the max, was done exquisitely. I really liked the metaphor they used to describe the two, and the LGBT community. Mike is Frankenstein, who is feared and misunderstood. Will is the Wolfman, who is trying to cope with his change into a monster. The monsters are the LGBT community, who are hunted by the villagers (ignorant and stubborn people: the real monsters). They used this metaphor as a way to recreate Romeo and Juliet, and I just loved it. I'd give it an 'A' if I was an English teacher. The music really impressed me too, ranging from classical scores like Fur Elise to beautiful love ballads by the school dance band. The second half just took flight and became a really solid film. Well, up until the mother exploded at Mike. When it comes to melodrama, it either has to be done perfectly, or not at all.
I felt really moved by the end of the film because of a lot of things. I absolutely adore the message this film sends to LGBT teens, which is to not be afraid any more. It's so important that kids know to come out and be who they are, because this world will never change unless people are honest with themselves. There was a really touching song that played too, which almost moved me to tears. Most importantly, it was because of the moving performance by Lucas Linehan, who was the heart and soul of the film. This isn't a refined film, but its message and emotional impact managed to make me like it a lot.
I'd give it a 7/10, but I'd like to boost its rating up. It deserves far better than a 5.1/10. -
I don't really understand some of these harsh reviews for this film. I think the expectations for this film from some of these reviewers might have been too high especially for an indie film. Sure the film has its faults but in the end it still does its job by telling a story that needs to be told. The last half hour of this film really takes it to the next level and the movie is worth watching just to experience the last bit of it. Worth the watch.
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samjoeyw31 August 2019Spoiler alert: The idea that Mike would instantly forgive his mother for essentially killing Will is absolutely ridiculous. Most contrived scene I've seen in ages.
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myonge-7211929 February 2020I have read some of the reviews of this movie, and yes it would not have won an academy award, but so what? A movie does not have to be a cinematic masterpiece to tell a story well and this movie does just that.
The story concept and it's portrayal was excellently developed and presented by "Mike" and "Will" I've watched it twice now and will no doubt watch it again. My heart went out to both these young men and the agony they both were going through. The only highlight in their young lives was the love they briefly found in each other. As one of the other reviewers mentioned, I should have seen the end coming with the theme being Romeo and Juliet.
It is well worth the viewing. -
ozjosh0317 September 2020The proliferation of gay movies in recent years is mostly a good thing, even if so many of them are amateurish, lightweight and all-too-often packed with the kind of lazy negative stereotypes gay audiences regularly complain about in straight movies & TV. But you can argue that visibility is a good thing, and the more voices being heard, the better. I'd include Monster Pies in that too, if it was simply cliche-ridden and amateurish. Unfortunately, this movie goes beyond the standard depiction of teens tormented by homophobia and delivers an ending that is as irresponsible as it is dramatically questionable. The film's tortured hero, Will, saddled with an abusive father and a brain-damaged mother (yes: total overload), nevertheless finds love with fellow film buff, Nick. Yet, just after he finds the words to express that love, he hangs himself. In Nick's presence, of all things. It's astoundingly insensitive and not hugely plausible, but in a film where credulity is constantly stretched, it's hardly surprising. The real problem is that this suicide scenario plays directly into the kind of suicide ideation many gay teens experience. I know for a fact that such a plot development would not pass muster on network television, where standards exist to prevent plot lines that might provoke real-life copycat acts. But independent filmmakers set their own standards - or, as is the case here, operate without any. It wouldn't be quite so bad if the suicide was psychologically justified and/or loaded with some kind of meaning. But it's not; it's just shock for shock's sake. There's little to justify Will being suicidal. The characters and culture depicted in the film feel peculiarly out of synch with 21st century Australia (and more like the 60s or 70s). And the overall level of melodrama (sky high!) robs the suicide of any real impact anyway; it's just another desperately over-the-top plot choice. But it's still one that might speak to vulnerable teens going through any "you'll be sorry when I'm dead" angst, and that makes Monster Pies a potential danger to its key audience. That aside, the film's only redeeming feature is Lucas Linehan as Will. He's an actor with a good deal of raw potential. Sadly, most of his work since this has been also with Monster Pies director Lee Galea, which can't be a good thing. I hope he gets a real break soon.
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teabag_mike22 June 2013I saw this film for the first time at MQFF (Melbourne Queer Film Festival) and it blew me away with it's sensitive characterizations, elegant cinematography and beautiful use of music. This film was made on a micro budget and should be used as a yard stick for other indie film makers to live up to. This movie shows what can be accomplished with determination, drive and vision.
The plot is a straight forward coming of age story and whilst we have seen this type of thing before, we've never seen it told in quiet the same way with sparse beauty and compassion. The two main leads are destined for future success if this is any indication of what they are capable of. They are both charismatic and charming. They anchor the film and give it a gravity, sense of humor and emotional core. All the support actors are outstanding as well - they range from heavy and down right nasty to quirky, off beat and genuinely funny.
The location filming in Melbourne's western suburbs gives the film a real slice of life feel that every Australian growing up in the burbs will relate to. The local area portrayed in the film becomes almost a character unto itself.
Both the score and songs are well used and add huge production value to this little film. The editing is slightly rough around the edges but it actually adds to the character of the film. I found it worked even better on a repeated viewing. We do tend to be so used to seeing bigger budget films that are slickly cut together whereas Monster Pies is a personal vision and works on a purely personal, one on one level. That is all part of the films magic.
The direction and writing from Lee Galea show a maturity and depth of understanding of both film and the subject matter. For a second feature with a tiny budget this film rocks. Lee is obviously a child of the 90's and pays loving homage to them with great attention to detail. From local video libraries to phones with cords. I for one cannot wait to see what he makes next!
Try watching this film with an open mind and heart and I think you'll walk away from it slightly changed forever. I know I have. -
cekadah31 December 2014Not such a badly made movie as some would have you believe. It's done well enough to keep up ones interest but .....
Beware - this pot boiler has all the misery and dysfunctional family members and fellow students crap to create the tragic William and intimidated Mike. So you can pretty much see whats coming.
I found the ending very stupid and unnecessary, as people used to say, "It's a cop out". I think the writers reached the end of their budget and just brought the story to an end. Too bad because the writers & director could have William & Mike mature and make a greater statement at the school by showing no fear of rejection by others.
Check out 'The Way He Looks' - so much better at creating the characters! -
brandonk9614 February 2015I know this won't be much of a review. I'm actually still trying to process the movie in my head.
The storyline was absolutely touching, and it's rare that a film actually leaves me in tears at the end, and this has to be the hardest I've cried after a film. Sure the acting could have been better most times, but everything else made up for it. It was such a job well done.
I really do appreciate the fact that an indie film has had such an impact on me. This is definitely something to add to my favourites to watch again in the future.
Again, I have never been so touched by a movie like I have by this one. -
sandover12 August 2014Kid#1 losing brother in freak accident? check.
Kid#2 with catatonic mother and little sis with down syndrome? check.
Kid#1 & kid#2 falling in love? check.
Catalyst for kid#1 & kid#2 falling in love school project for kids giving their own version of Romeo and Juliet immortal love story? check.
Abusive father for kid#2 driving him to bad decision? check.
From trauma to trauma unsparing editing? check.
Amateur, unfortunate chemistry between the kids? check.
Full fat lips Dafoe-perfect for the job, though the job is not done if you excuse my pun? check.
Shameless presentation of suicide? Your call.
Add all ingredients with two chunks of cringe-worthy Beethoven pianistic sentiment and chill; spill on screen.
Garnish with snowflakes.
Goes best with monster pies.