Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi

This cinematic catastrophe, masquerading as a continuation of the beloved Star Wars saga, is an utter disgrace to the franchise and a desecration of everything that once made it great. Director Rian Johnson's feeble attempt to leave his mark on this illustrious universe falls short in every conceivable way, leaving fans and cinephiles alike bewildered and dismayed.

From the very outset, it becomes apparent that The Last Jedi lacks any coherent vision or respect for the source material. Johnson takes delight in tearing down the established mythology, tossing aside the profound themes and intricate character arcs that have captivated audiences for decades. Instead, we are subjected to a hodgepodge of convoluted plotlines and laughable attempts at subversion, all executed with a lack of finesse and intelligence that is truly astonishing.

Gone are the iconic heroes we once held dear, replaced by hollow caricatures of their former selves. Mark Hamill's portrayal of Luke Skywalker, a character etched into the annals of cinematic history, is reduced to a moping hermit devoid of purpose or conviction. The essence of Luke's struggle and growth, painstakingly developed over multiple films, is discarded in favor of a disillusioned old man who resorts to throwing tantrums like a petulant child. It is a disservice to Hamill's talent and an insult to the audience's intelligence.

Furthermore, the new characters introduced in The Last Jedi are equally unimpressive. Rey, portrayed by Daisy Ridley, continues to be a one-dimensional Mary Sue, effortlessly mastering the Force without any training or struggle. The potential for compelling storytelling is squandered, replaced by a tedious parade of nonsensical twists and contrived romantic entanglements. The script is riddled with cringe-inducing attempts at humor, which only serve to further undermine any semblance of seriousness or gravitas.

Visually, the film offers little respite from its narrative failings. The action sequences lack the grandeur and precision that once defined the franchise, devolving into a cacophony of meaningless explosions and flashy yet empty spectacle. The once awe-inspiring space battles are reduced to uninspired video game sequences, bereft of any emotional weight or strategic depth. Even the iconic lightsaber duels, once choreographed with elegance and purpose, now feel like nothing more than a choreographed mess of flashy acrobatics.

It is clear that The Last Jedi suffers from a severe lack of creative vision, guided by a director who either misunderstands or deliberately disregards the essence of the Star Wars saga. The film's attempts at subversion and reinvention fall flat, resulting in a disjointed and unsatisfying experience that tarnishes the legacy of its predecessors. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi is an abomination, an insult to the intelligence of its audience, and a dark stain on the once-shining galaxy far, far away.

Picking up where The Force Awakens left off, Rey meets Luke Skywalker and tries to convince him to help The Resistance. He is initially hesitant but eventually decides to train Rey in the way of The Force. However, Kylo Ren also wants to track down Skywalker, and uses Rey for that purpose. Meanwhile, The Resistance are locked in deadly battle with the First Order and, while they have some minor victories, it seems like a futile struggle.

I'm not generally a Star Wars fan but to my surprise I enjoyed Episode VII - The Force Awakens. It grabbed my attention from the word go and held it all the way through. A rollicking adventure with engaging characters. Moreover, the blending of the old characters and the new was very well done, with the feeling that the torch had been passed to the new generation.

Unfortunately, Episode VIII doesn't come close to the engagement, novelty and adventure of Episode VII. Its essentially one long action-drama, with little in the way of engagement or originality. The Rey-Kylo Ren relationship had potential but went nowhere new or interesting and was snuffed out pretty quickly. Them possibly working together held my attention but the intrigue was short-lived. The movie simply degenerated into action sequences after that.

On the upside, no need to waste my time on Episode IX (Or X, or XI, or...)...

The Last Jedi is a well-made film; it's visually stunning and well directed. The problem is that it singlehandedly ruined the sequel trilogy by closing the second chapter with a dead end. There are truly baffling character decisions, awkward humor, useless subplots - it's by far the most frustrating Star Wars movie because of the potential it had. If it were 20 minutes shorter, it could have been something special, but the last act sees our characters in the exact same spot as they began. As a standalone movie, it's watchable. As the second part of a trilogy, it's a disaster.

I say worst story ever because this is the worst story as a movie and makes some of the worst Star Wars books look better by comparison. This movie was poorly shot, poorly paced, and poorly written.

Rey is the most powerful character ever seen on screen. She is more powerful than any Star Wars character ever written in any book. In four days time she goes from not knowing the force exists to being the most powerful force user ever. I thought the midiclorian idea from The Phantom Menace was an absurd way to establish how powerful Anakin was and what his potential could be. With Rey she was able to become more powerful than anyone in a matter of days. She is a Mary Sue.

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is the most useless and bipolar villain in the series. His mood swapping during the movie is tiring and unneeded. It makes him shallow and childish appearing.

Luke Skywalker was not in this movie. It was great seeing Mark Hamill give his all to a performance and I honestly think despite the writing he did an excellent job. But this was not Luke. Luke was the most positive and optimistic person in the galaxy. Rian Johnson turned him into a horrible version of a miserable human with nothing but negativity to guide him.

Leia should have died. Mary Poppins/Superman should have been her death. They could have then made Hodo take her place as the leader of the resistance. Instead we are left with Leia in a coma and are told that we need to listen to Hodo without question. I think Laura Dern is a brilliant actor who was written a poor story and given a meaningless death. She should have confided in Poe her plan instead of the strong trust me angle. Poe was one of the most trusted members of the resistance. There was no reason other than a political statement to be made in their interactions.

Finn became useless. I have no problem with the racial diversity that this movie provided. I though the original series was a bit lacking as Lando was the only black man in the galaxy. I appreciate strong characters. Rose is not that. What Rose does is kill the interaction between Poe and Finn. She diminishes Finn and he attempt to sacrifice himself but saving him for love. This after the whole movie she has preached that the resistance should come first. So she commits an act of saving Finn when she should have let him die to save the others. Her character is pointless and should have been left out of the story. Now does that mean the actor who portrayed her should have been cut? No. Write her a strong female character and let her have a role worthy of the talents of the actor.

A meaningless death suffered by the greatest tactical mind the rebellion ever had the privileged of following. Ackbar died by getting sucked into space. Seriously? What a death by the man who lead the attack on the second Death Star.

Why did Hodo not go ahead and jump a ship into the first order fleet when they first were being chased? It makes no sense to wait until the end of the movie to do this maneuver. Do it as soon as the first order gives chase and be done with it. And if you are going to do this idiotic scene make Ackbar the man to do it. He would be the one to have the tactical knowledge to have pulled it off. Instead we have Princess Leia light kill herself.

I cannot even begin to list all the problems of this movie. I cannot even begin to tell how much Rian Johnson has destroyed the series with one really bad film. I can honestly say Rian Johnson actually made the prequels look better for me. He is a horrible storyteller. The plot holes are ridiculous. The written is atrocious. His ability as a film maker is shown with this movie. I shall not watch another of his movies. I shall not see Episode IX.

The original Star Wars films ("4-6" as we're now supposed to call them) were FUN. It's that simple. They had action, surprise, and a bit of humor. They were a treat for viewers young and old.

"The Last Jedi" is an overwhelming smorgasbord of dramatic side stories, multiple plots and conflicts, all stuffed into one film. Could the writers not agree on a single storyline to follow?

I get it. The film is supposed to be more dramatic, more emotional. Snore... I'm not a fan of emotional dramas. More power to you if you enjoy them. But again, this franchise is supposed to be FUN. Does anyone remember what fun feels like these days?

You have the heroes, the villains, and the battle between them. It's a tried and true action-packed formula that has served countless classic films.

Take, for example, this movie's long and winding exploration of Kylo Ren's inner feelings. I don't care. I'm not interested in the moody emo villain and his complex emotions. Again, heroes and villains. Action. Fun. Let's go.

I miss the magic of the original films. Unfortunately those days are long gone in a galaxy far, far away.