Dave Attell: Welcome to Dave's Old Porn!

Marc Maron: Oh my God, thanks for having me. I was looking forward to jerking off with you.

Marc Maron: [watching the first clip with Christy Canyon] And those are like genuine, I think.

Dave Attell: Genuine? I call them real.

Dave Attell: Well fake boobs are kinda like newscasters. They really only have like two expressions, you know, like really excited or really sad.

Marc Maron: But either way, you think they're just acting.

Marc Maron: That's a from behind finger blast, is that what you call it? You're the pro.

Dave Attell: I call it the 'Cincinatti Hello.'

Marc Maron: Oh, sure, sure, I, I always knew it as 'Cleveland', but whatever.

Dave Attell: [Dave laughs] We both worked different clubs.

Dave Attell: Yeah, but you can't trim an Armenian bush, it will make it rain and ruin the harvest. Doesn't this guy know gypsy... legends?

Christy Canyon: I hope you don't look at every girl's pussy the same.

Dave Attell: Sometimes I look at it, sometimes I giggle in it, sometimes I pray to it.

Christy Canyon: Who are you dating?

Dave Attell: This is a common theme in porn, ok.

Marc Maron: What, the guy with the belt?

Dave Attell: The lonely, super hot chick and the two, like working men come in. It's never like a scientist and a mime, you know?

Dave Attell: [watching a threeway] Which guy do you most relate to, here?

Marc Maron: The guy holding the camera?

Dave Attell: I rela-

[bursts out laughing]

Dave Attell: Fuck it, you grabbed it, dude. Excellent one. Marc Maron is here, everybody, is here.

Christy Canyon: The girls are definitely fun, but I've always been into guys more than girls. But I love girls! They're beautiful.

Marc Maron: Guys have cocks.