Cytherea Is a Lesbian Squirt Machine (2012)

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If you don't squirt, you're doing it wrong! Cytherea opens up about squirting girlfriends, wet lesbian intimacy, and unleashing a woman's talent. Retelling her first squirting experiences ... See full summary »

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28 March 2016 | lor_
A couple of classic vignettes, but still untrue
A filmmaker I admire a great deal, Diana DeVoe, takes on the dormant controversy over "squirting" in this ambitious feature for Filly Films and ends up with a split decision. Purporting to prove that female ejaculation = vast fountains of liquid is still begging the issue, as I continue to maintain that good old Golden Showers, so popular with the "perverts" of a prehistoric porn era (back when I was growing up) are now passed off as a mini-industry called Squirting.

This matter of definition is not very interesting, so the whole thing is hardly of much debate anymore. Fetishists who enjoy the sight of vast quantities of liquid emanating from women in a video have their thousands of titles to choose from with a more respectable patina than calling them fans of Golden Showers. But what's wrong with just calling a spade a spade and be done with it?

So DeVoe has her surrogate, very poorly played by Dior Love (can't spit out dialog properly or convincingly to save her life) heading with her stalwart camerawoman Olivia Wilder (no, she doesn't resemble the beautiful TV/Movie star from "House" series) to interview Cytherea. The big C is sort of playing a very fictional version of herself, best-selling self-help author and guru who teaches adventurous women to find true bliss and endless orgasms via the art of Squirting.

Dior is highly skeptical, even belligerent in questioning C, but the porn star relates her first knowledge of the arcane S practice while in pigtails at Catholic school. DeVoe cleverly (and perfectly) casts Rebecca Bardoux as the nun dealing with Cytherea and classmate Brandi Blunt, stuck in detention for repeated infractions.

After Cytherea leaves, Sister Rebecca gives Brandi corporal punishment with a spanking ruler, and then quite a lesbian workout with fingering that produces the famous squirts -fountains in the air. Cytherea is peeping at the door and her life is changed forever. The two actresses yield a classic, arousing sequence.

Bardoux starred the following year in "Mother Superior 2" for Nica Noelle, a dirty nuns saga on which DeVoe handled the camera.

Further flashbacks included Cytherea's own squirt debut, caused during a bondage session with her girlfriend, the unique gonzo breast queen Alina Janine, as well as Cytherea's p.a. Tristina Millz recalling for the reluctant interviewer (C insists she be heard out on the subject) her interracial squirting session with breasty white girl Ashley Graham, in which Tristina wins volume-wise the battle of the aquatic beauties.

Finale has C challenging her interrogator plus the camerawoman thrown in, that she can cause both of these women to squirt. The camerawoman Olivia wins that IR contest but Dior is wet enough (it was imperceptible to my naked eye, however) to be convinced and supposedly the fraud issue is settled, once and for all.

Despite the high-quality porn content of the first half of Diana's feature, I beg to differ on the underlying issue. Sure, there is a female secretion during sexual arousal -we even see traces of that from Tristina in her bit before she decides to pee all over the place. The commercialization of bed-wetting for fun and profit that the porn industry foisted perhaps 20 years ago is just as phony as WWE/WWF pro wrestling, and I respect pornographers, notably German and British, who have more honestly chosen to promote the revival of interest in Golden Shower perversion as representing truth in advertising.

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Release Date:

10 December 2012



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