R | | Comedy
Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.
Liam Neeson's fourth collaboration with Morgan Freeman. They previously worked together in Batman Begins (2005), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), and The Lego Movie (2014), although they share no scenes together.
You piece of shit. Killing him at Fenway Park wasn't enough for you, huh? Huh, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?
Donny: You don't deserve him, John. You never did. YOU NEVER DID!
John: I've been wanting to do this for a long time.
Ted: Aha! I fucking knew it!
If the Commonwealth of Massachusetts considered Ted property rather than a person, then his arrest record and any convictions would actually be invalidated and couldn't be used against him - "property" can't be convicted of a crime.
Similarly, they wouldn't have any jurisdiction over his employment status at the grocery store and would have no say over whether he could maintain employment there or anywhere else. The grocery store wouldn't be bound by any employment laws which apply to people. They could enter into any agreement with Ted (or his owner) under any terms they wanted because the employment laws wouldn't apply.
Liam Neeson returns to the grocery store battered and bruised and returns his ruined box of Trix.
$33,507,870 (USA) (28 June 2015)
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