This is a fun micro-budget horror-comedy with some decent (some not) acting and practical effects. Simple, yet interesting plot with full of Lovecraft references and some expected gore n' nudity. Of course there are some boring parts here and there but it is watchable (even more than once with the right company of people) Although makers of this movie say they are inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft, I think their biggest influence is Troma films. The tone of the movie, colors, special effects and yes the penis monster reminded me of good ol' Aroma du Troma. Call Girl of Cthulhu isn't Chris LaMartina's best film and H.P. Lovecraft wouldn't be proud. But Lloyd Kaufman would!
15 Reviews
It's certainly not good, but there are some nice things
dave-heberer27 August 2019
From the start, this looks like it's going to be a not just bad but poorly made movie. But I stuck through it for a few minutes and got some entertainment out of it. Here's the good and the bad:
Good: I like the story behind the movie. The acting for the people that took off their tops was better than the acting of the clothed people. I don't know if that's good or bad, but whatever. I liked the glimpse at the kinds of sad pandering that a call girl has to put up with, that was entertaining. The bad guys were interesting to look at. I am impressed with how much freaky can be conveyed with simple costumes. In fact, I know it is low budget but bravo to the costuming for the movie with doing lots with little.
Bad: I can't even call it gory. There was a lot of puppetry and fluids being thrown around so I can call it gross but in no way realistic or gory. Even in a movie centered around hookers and strip clubs, there's even extra nudity for no real reason. This stuck out to me, idk why. The sound was really bad in places.
I think it's an ok movie, poorly made in spots, badly acted in other spots but I can say I was entertained by the crazy and I thought the ending was decent. To watch this and come away happy you have to have low expectations. Which the name of the film sets you up with.
Good: I like the story behind the movie. The acting for the people that took off their tops was better than the acting of the clothed people. I don't know if that's good or bad, but whatever. I liked the glimpse at the kinds of sad pandering that a call girl has to put up with, that was entertaining. The bad guys were interesting to look at. I am impressed with how much freaky can be conveyed with simple costumes. In fact, I know it is low budget but bravo to the costuming for the movie with doing lots with little.
Bad: I can't even call it gory. There was a lot of puppetry and fluids being thrown around so I can call it gross but in no way realistic or gory. Even in a movie centered around hookers and strip clubs, there's even extra nudity for no real reason. This stuck out to me, idk why. The sound was really bad in places.
I think it's an ok movie, poorly made in spots, badly acted in other spots but I can say I was entertained by the crazy and I thought the ending was decent. To watch this and come away happy you have to have low expectations. Which the name of the film sets you up with.
All Guts, No Brains
scythertitus25 December 2020
Some interesting ideas here and a good dose of gory low budget schlock, but none of the characters make much sense in what they do or say.
It takes almost an hour to pick up but gets a lot more fun when it does. The first half has an almost serious tone that doesn't fit the rest of the movie. If it had been crazy from the getgo and better paced it would have been better, but the second half is still pretty watchable.
Overall if you like schlock and cheap horror with nudity then you'll probably like this at least a little, but for anything more cerebral look elsewhere!
It takes almost an hour to pick up but gets a lot more fun when it does. The first half has an almost serious tone that doesn't fit the rest of the movie. If it had been crazy from the getgo and better paced it would have been better, but the second half is still pretty watchable.
Overall if you like schlock and cheap horror with nudity then you'll probably like this at least a little, but for anything more cerebral look elsewhere!
A Labor of Love...Lost!
PURKASZ2 November 2015
Ya, right...Lovecraft would have really dug this 'homage' being a secret T&A guy back in the day. He especially would have been surprised to see so many of his hidden meanings and dark texts rife with macabre images suddenly illuminated and realized as a bunch of naked women with all their attributes! As if that were not enough, the casting of non-pro actors would sublimate his troubled eldritch inner forces that would normally demand much better performers into a simmering rage at the unseen director of this nonsense. The usage of New England surnames familiar to us all seems unkind to those family members who may still exist in the dark tarns of the hidden blasted heaths and valleys therein. All in all very entertaining for those of us trapped deep below the surface of the Earth with the Old Ones!
Yrs...
Charles Dexter Ward and my new friend... Yog Sothoth -
Yrs...
Charles Dexter Ward and my new friend... Yog Sothoth -
Sometimes you just have to not answer the call...
paul_haakonsen5 October 2016
I sat down to watch the 2014 "Call Girl of Cthulhu" movie with the expectation for it to be a horror comedy, but I was sorely disappointed. This turned out to be a very sleazy horror movie that was relying heavily on explicit stuff. And not in a good way mind you. I am sure that the master of horror literature is turning over in his grave knowing that his name is associated with such sleaze.
The story does revolve around Lovecraft elements, but it is all just shattered and brought into the gutter with the sleaze that permeates this movie. And it was really a hard movie, pardon the pun, to get through. And truth be told, I gave up 50 minutes into the ordeal. I just couldn't take anymore of it.
I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as "Call Girl of Cthulhu", but for people who truly enjoyed the writings of H.P. Lovecraft and the Lovecraftian literature of newer age is most likely to shun this like a Deep One.
One of the good things about "Call Girl of Cthulhu" was the fact that they had a lot of names and ideals from Lovecraft's mythology down right, and there were lots of small details which also hinted towards Lovecraft, such as the air freshener named Cool Air, for example.
The acting in the movie was as to be expected from a movie such as this, so don't get your hopes up for a groundbreaking Shakespearian experience here. But I am sure that people were doing their best, given the limitations of the script and storyline.
The effects in "Call Girl of Cthulhu" were actually adequate, especially for a movie such as this and with their budget. So that at least worked in favor for the movie. Of course it wasn't a Hollywood CGI and special effects galore, but the effects served their purposes well enough.
I found this movie to be a strain to sit through, and just couldn't bear it to the end. The sleazy element was just too much, and it really didn't sit well with me that Lovecraft's writing and mythology was being dragged through the gutter like that.
The sole reason for this movie not scoring an absolute lowest one out of ten stars from me, is because of the effects and because the crew behind the story had actually taken time to put themselves into the works of Lovecraft, by getting names and such correct.
But if you are a fan of Lovecraft's writing, then chances are high that you, like me, will find no enjoyment in "Call Girl of Cthulhu". I should have listened to the tentacled voice at the back of my head saying "No, don't watch this. The title of the movie says it all!". So take heed and sit down to watch this movie with that warning at heart.
"Call Girl of Cthulhu" scores two out of ten stars, and even then I am being more than generous.
The story does revolve around Lovecraft elements, but it is all just shattered and brought into the gutter with the sleaze that permeates this movie. And it was really a hard movie, pardon the pun, to get through. And truth be told, I gave up 50 minutes into the ordeal. I just couldn't take anymore of it.
I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as "Call Girl of Cthulhu", but for people who truly enjoyed the writings of H.P. Lovecraft and the Lovecraftian literature of newer age is most likely to shun this like a Deep One.
One of the good things about "Call Girl of Cthulhu" was the fact that they had a lot of names and ideals from Lovecraft's mythology down right, and there were lots of small details which also hinted towards Lovecraft, such as the air freshener named Cool Air, for example.
The acting in the movie was as to be expected from a movie such as this, so don't get your hopes up for a groundbreaking Shakespearian experience here. But I am sure that people were doing their best, given the limitations of the script and storyline.
The effects in "Call Girl of Cthulhu" were actually adequate, especially for a movie such as this and with their budget. So that at least worked in favor for the movie. Of course it wasn't a Hollywood CGI and special effects galore, but the effects served their purposes well enough.
I found this movie to be a strain to sit through, and just couldn't bear it to the end. The sleazy element was just too much, and it really didn't sit well with me that Lovecraft's writing and mythology was being dragged through the gutter like that.
The sole reason for this movie not scoring an absolute lowest one out of ten stars from me, is because of the effects and because the crew behind the story had actually taken time to put themselves into the works of Lovecraft, by getting names and such correct.
But if you are a fan of Lovecraft's writing, then chances are high that you, like me, will find no enjoyment in "Call Girl of Cthulhu". I should have listened to the tentacled voice at the back of my head saying "No, don't watch this. The title of the movie says it all!". So take heed and sit down to watch this movie with that warning at heart.
"Call Girl of Cthulhu" scores two out of ten stars, and even then I am being more than generous.
Don't take it too seriously, or you'll miss out
snakepaws1 February 2015
You may find yourself asking just what in the hell you're watching within the first 15-20 min. Press onward, and don't take it too seriously - you'll miss out on the fun ride. It's akin to something like 'Todd and the Book of Pure Evil.' The acting is good. Writing, wardrobe, sets, sound, effects, etc, are all on par with the budget - again it all works for what it is. You can tell the entire production team had a great time making this film, and made something they were proud to screen.
Bottom line, I know this review sucks, but for someone looking for a fun, raunchy indie horror-comedy based on Lovecraftian mythos, look no further.
Bottom line, I know this review sucks, but for someone looking for a fun, raunchy indie horror-comedy based on Lovecraftian mythos, look no further.
Do not watch it unless you are a fan of Cthulhu
captainstarkiller11 July 2023
Every now and then you come across a film which makes you appreciate others. This is one of them. I can forgive terrible special effects, I cannot forgive bad acting and atrocious direction. The plot of this film was best described as below average. I guess the high ratings that it had when I saw it were from those who made the film, or die hard Cthulhu fans. Watching this was a waste of time and I hope others do not waste time watching it.
I am also surprised to see that it has won awards. I guess it means that it has a niche appeal, but that niche must be very specific. The film had potential, it was such a shame that it did not come close to meeting any of it.
I am also surprised to see that it has won awards. I guess it means that it has a niche appeal, but that niche must be very specific. The film had potential, it was such a shame that it did not come close to meeting any of it.
"Answer the call"!
dworldeater26 February 2016
If you are like me and have come across this movie and think the title alone is hilarious and worth watching, Call Girl Of Cthulhu will not disappoint you. Call Girl... is a very tongue in cheek, micro budgeted horror/comedy that delivers the campy and gory goods. Considering of course this is centered on our leading lady of the night Riley and her occupation is to fulfill the needs of all kinds of horny men, the film has a whole lot of sex appeal and delivers in that area as well. Riley, is a smoking hot hooker with a heart of gold that ends up in a romance when meeting an awkward, but sweet artist and virgin who paints her portrait. Things go awry when Cthulhu cultists search for their god's bride who is a hooker that bares the birthmark destined to be Cthulhu's mate and bring about the end of the world. For this Riley is destined and only her boyfriend and his punk/industrial noise artist chick and roommate can put a stop to this. For a movie dealing with prostitution, alien gods, cult worship and Armageddon, the film has an innocent quality to it an has mostly a light tone. Although this movie was extremely cheap, the performances by the actors are actually good and the characters are developed well throughout the course of the film. The f/x are cheap and cheesy, but are practical at least. Plus this film is cheesy, but in a good way. Call Of Cthulhu is good for what it is. There are no shortage of horror movies based on the writings of HP Lovecraft, but I do like writer Jimmy George and director Chris Lamartino's take on the material. If you want to see a more serious adaptation of Lovecraft's works that has more of a budget to work with the I suggest to check out director Stuart Gordon's films. He made a lot of good films based on Lovecraft, some of them are great and absolute genre classics.
Not Another Cthulu Movie!?!?
Vvardenfell_Man11 September 2023
At this point, Lovecraftian horror doesn't need to be taken seriously. It's fine to have some fun with it, but honestly, there's not anything scary about unknowable alien gods anymore. This is largely thanks to movies like this one, where references to Cthulu are supposed to pass for as clever and creative ideas in an original story.
Cosmic horror TNA gore movies can be a fine combination, but wow, this is just a nightmare to sit through. Nobody looks like they want to be there, there's almost no energy on screen at any point in the movie, and it's oddly mean-spirited about sexuality for the kind of movie that it is.
I'd rather be strapped into a Ludovico chair and forced to watch Rocktopussy for the rest of my life. At least Rocktopussy has a sense of humor.
Cosmic horror TNA gore movies can be a fine combination, but wow, this is just a nightmare to sit through. Nobody looks like they want to be there, there's almost no energy on screen at any point in the movie, and it's oddly mean-spirited about sexuality for the kind of movie that it is.
I'd rather be strapped into a Ludovico chair and forced to watch Rocktopussy for the rest of my life. At least Rocktopussy has a sense of humor.
Fun horror date movie
mybrittleheart138715 September 2015
I saw this film at the Maryland film fest and thought it was just great. It is one of those movies for those who like movies that are raunchy, intelligent with just the right amount of horror to keep you and a date interested. Nicolette La Faye is a real treat in this film and I will now lookout for her in other indie films. I am not sure the film would be the same without her. I was so sad to see someone waste their time giving this movie such a bad review. I think that this just isn't a film for everyone. For sure not a film for kids or anyone who isn't really a fan of comedy horror in a low budget movie style. I will say the beginning is a tad slow but once the film gets going to the film really starts moving along quickly. I highly recommend this film and have even seen it again since it left the theater. Do yourself a favor and watch it.
An indie that works
Leofwine_draca6 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not a huge fan of the indie horror genre but CALL GIRL OF CTHULHU is something different and quite obviously done by fans with a true love of the genre. The story sees a lonely geek falling for a local prostitute only to discover that she's already betrothed - as a bride of the great Cthulhu! There's a lot going on in this film, which has a well-thought out plot, tons of gore and nudity for those into that stuff, surprisingly sweet performances from the cast and plenty of imaginative special effects which overcome budgetary constraints to offer something new and entertaining. Reminiscent of the early work of Peter Jackson or Troma, but certainly better than the latter.
Great, campy fun! 6.5 rounded to a 7
jwcstorage20 June 2021
Do you miss 70's and 80's grindhouse-style horror flicks with some 80's and 90's nihilism, mixed with real creature design and nearly no CGI? Do you miss when boobs, sex, and blood were in your cheesy horror movies? Do you miss when movies werent afraid to lean into camp?
Boy howdy do I got the movie for you!!!
I ran across this one on A-Z prime because it was on my recommended watch-list. I didnt check reviews or anything else, as the title was what drew me in.
I'm glad I went in blind!
I wont give a synopsis, but the movie is exactly what it shows itself to be. A call girl is possibly the catalyst for what brings Cthulhu back into our world.
This flick could have been trimmed down a little, but even with its excess, it feels like it revels in it rather than just rushing from plot point to plot point.
That is not to say this movie is dull or boring, as it pretty steadily keeps a solid pace for its running time.
There IS a lot of what is NOT in current horror movies: Blood, swears, boobs, sex, violence, animatronics and practical effects, amongst others, are littered throughout this movie in a fantastic way. You can really feel the vision they were going for and they executed it quite well.
The actors were not amazing, but they were proficient for this B-style movie. They play their parts well, and a few of them shine. It all mostly works for this script/film. They werent hamming it up, but you could tell all of the actors gave it their all with lots of gusto and enthusiasm.
The sound seemed to be taken from the raw audio many times without someone doing sound effects, which is both a blessing and a curse since some sounds do not match the tone they are going for.
The locations, for the most part, felt real and natural. The apartment of the main character feels very lived in and real for the two inhabitants.
Dont expect mind-blowing CGI or special effects as this is basically a well-done B movie. The practical effects were serviceable, but again, do not expect a $50 million dollar movie here. For instance, the masks of the Cthulhu cultists are just pieces of cloth cut into strips halfway, BUT IT WORKS!!! The cultists masks were mostly creepy.
If you've gotten this far and are still curious, give this flick a go!!! Check it out and you should be pleasantly surprised!
This was a fun little 'horror' movie with few scares but lots of "ick", as any story about Cthulhu should be.
This movie was more enjoyable and fun than most movies I've seen in the 6 years since this was released.
I'd give it a 6.5 rounded up to a 7 as I felt this movie deserved the bump-up, with points deducted for some of the unnecessary length and side plots that only exist for the sake of gore.
The ending was very 'Stephen King"ish but overall left me wishing for something a little more.
As a side note: They do a lot of match-cuts, which at first is refreshing because a lot of movies do not even bother with this anymore and jump from scene to scene, but it becomes a smidge excessive towards the end.
Boy howdy do I got the movie for you!!!
I ran across this one on A-Z prime because it was on my recommended watch-list. I didnt check reviews or anything else, as the title was what drew me in.
I'm glad I went in blind!
I wont give a synopsis, but the movie is exactly what it shows itself to be. A call girl is possibly the catalyst for what brings Cthulhu back into our world.
This flick could have been trimmed down a little, but even with its excess, it feels like it revels in it rather than just rushing from plot point to plot point.
That is not to say this movie is dull or boring, as it pretty steadily keeps a solid pace for its running time.
There IS a lot of what is NOT in current horror movies: Blood, swears, boobs, sex, violence, animatronics and practical effects, amongst others, are littered throughout this movie in a fantastic way. You can really feel the vision they were going for and they executed it quite well.
The actors were not amazing, but they were proficient for this B-style movie. They play their parts well, and a few of them shine. It all mostly works for this script/film. They werent hamming it up, but you could tell all of the actors gave it their all with lots of gusto and enthusiasm.
The sound seemed to be taken from the raw audio many times without someone doing sound effects, which is both a blessing and a curse since some sounds do not match the tone they are going for.
The locations, for the most part, felt real and natural. The apartment of the main character feels very lived in and real for the two inhabitants.
Dont expect mind-blowing CGI or special effects as this is basically a well-done B movie. The practical effects were serviceable, but again, do not expect a $50 million dollar movie here. For instance, the masks of the Cthulhu cultists are just pieces of cloth cut into strips halfway, BUT IT WORKS!!! The cultists masks were mostly creepy.
If you've gotten this far and are still curious, give this flick a go!!! Check it out and you should be pleasantly surprised!
This was a fun little 'horror' movie with few scares but lots of "ick", as any story about Cthulhu should be.
This movie was more enjoyable and fun than most movies I've seen in the 6 years since this was released.
I'd give it a 6.5 rounded up to a 7 as I felt this movie deserved the bump-up, with points deducted for some of the unnecessary length and side plots that only exist for the sake of gore.
The ending was very 'Stephen King"ish but overall left me wishing for something a little more.
As a side note: They do a lot of match-cuts, which at first is refreshing because a lot of movies do not even bother with this anymore and jump from scene to scene, but it becomes a smidge excessive towards the end.
Goofy fun
BandSAboutMovies2 February 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Directed by Chris LaMartina (WNUF Halloween Special, What Happens Next Will Scare You) and co-written with JImmy George, Call Girl of Cthulu is all about a virginal young man named Carter (David Phillip Carollo) who is looking for the right girl, who he thinks is Riley (Melissa O'Brien), a prostitute with a strange birthmark on her right ass cheek.
It turns out that she's being sought by the Church of Starry Wisdom, who see this as a sign that she will become the bride of the Elder God who exists beyond the wall of sleep, Cthulu. Can your protagonist find a way to find true love - or lust - without losing his mind to the tentacled thing that should not be?
Beyond being a love letter to H. P. Lovecraft, it's also a movie that combines gore, sexploitation and a willingness to really go there. Would it be too far to have a golden shower that melts a man's face clean off? Monstrous male genitals? Tentacle scenes? Watching this, I get the feeling that everyone in it is still finding makeup and goop and gunk all over themselves even years after they made it.
For a movie that starts light, it gets surprisingly dark, too. And emotional. I'm surprised how much I liked this movie, as I kept waiting for it to fall apart, but that's when I realized that LaMartina and George being good at making movies is no accident.
It turns out that she's being sought by the Church of Starry Wisdom, who see this as a sign that she will become the bride of the Elder God who exists beyond the wall of sleep, Cthulu. Can your protagonist find a way to find true love - or lust - without losing his mind to the tentacled thing that should not be?
Beyond being a love letter to H. P. Lovecraft, it's also a movie that combines gore, sexploitation and a willingness to really go there. Would it be too far to have a golden shower that melts a man's face clean off? Monstrous male genitals? Tentacle scenes? Watching this, I get the feeling that everyone in it is still finding makeup and goop and gunk all over themselves even years after they made it.
For a movie that starts light, it gets surprisingly dark, too. And emotional. I'm surprised how much I liked this movie, as I kept waiting for it to fall apart, but that's when I realized that LaMartina and George being good at making movies is no accident.
Do not call her
kosmasp27 May 2022
What is your take on cults and demons? And more importantly: do you have problems with humor being added to a horror movie? That question is the most important one of course, since this is using a lot of humor. If that works, will be up to you and your sensibilities.
The effects are quite nice. You have a lot of violence, some nudity and a lot madness to endure while watching this. Something that should hopefully come easy to you. If not you will not have any fun watching this ... at all. Low budget as it can be - you have to dig its vibe. You will know early on. Don't blame the movie - if you sat all the way through it and didn't like it.
The effects are quite nice. You have a lot of violence, some nudity and a lot madness to endure while watching this. Something that should hopefully come easy to you. If not you will not have any fun watching this ... at all. Low budget as it can be - you have to dig its vibe. You will know early on. Don't blame the movie - if you sat all the way through it and didn't like it.
Trash - loved it!
Milk_Tray_Guy19 September 2023
If you're looking for a sleazy, cheap but fun Lovecraftian horror you could do far worse than this! With blood and body parts all over the place, some of the dumbest characters you'll see in horror (which is saying something!), and a very liberal amount of T&A/topless nudity, this is a real throwback to those 80s teen horror flicks that were only found near the back of the video store. A nerdy young artist decides to lose his virginity to a prostitute. Unfortunately, she bears a birthmark that marks her as destined to become the bride of Cthulhu. The 'Church of Starry Wisdom' (aka a bunch of losers led by a megalomaniac nutjob) are determined to bring that union about.
Whilst some of the supporting cast have a history in more 'adult' productions, the leads (David Phillip Carollo as the artist, Nicolette le Faye as his roommate, Melissa O'Brien as the hooker, and Dave Gamble as the nutjob) are pro actors; but they're ALL clearly having a ball and putting their all into it. Plus, writer/director Chris LaMartina knows his stuff; there are more Lovecraft references/elements in this that I think I've seen in any other movie based on his work. Overall, it's trash, but it's meant to be. I can't say I'll ever rewatch it, but it's fun. 6/10.
Whilst some of the supporting cast have a history in more 'adult' productions, the leads (David Phillip Carollo as the artist, Nicolette le Faye as his roommate, Melissa O'Brien as the hooker, and Dave Gamble as the nutjob) are pro actors; but they're ALL clearly having a ball and putting their all into it. Plus, writer/director Chris LaMartina knows his stuff; there are more Lovecraft references/elements in this that I think I've seen in any other movie based on his work. Overall, it's trash, but it's meant to be. I can't say I'll ever rewatch it, but it's fun. 6/10.
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