Paint (2013)

B. Skow, a hack among hacks, has the temerity to make fun of the art scene, with its poseurs and hangers-on in this early feature he made for Girlfriends Films, expanding the label's purview from a single-minded focus on Lesbian Cinema to integrate some boy/girl action into its content. There's no screenplay credit (David Stanley was Skow's usual collaborator at this time) and the semi-improvised dialog and overacting are horrendous.

Skow's forte is pretty girl and gonzo scenes, and his inability to direct his actors is quite apparent here, moreso than in his successful Girlfriends assignments like "Daddy's Girls" and "Homecoming". In particular, Dana DeArmond in the lead role of an artist who takes cute (jail-bait) student intern Chastity Lynn under her wing is kept on such a long leash that she is embarrassing in most scenes, throwing in shtick and witticisms that are beyond amateurish. Of course, she was nominated for an AVN award as a result. My only positive takeaway from her charade here is that in a better (and less prejudiced) world she could take over the vacant role of Abby in "NCIS" now that her role model Pauley Perrette has exited Stage Left.

The overlong sex scenes (feautre runs a bloated 161 minutes long) are both lesbian to satisfy the target Girlfriends audience and boy-girl, with a kinky threesome involving Dana's shaved-head art dealer Alec Knight and two attractive actresses styled skanky. Skow attempts a gritty approach, dirty feet and all that reminded me of the alt-porn movement of the time (think Kimberly Kane's work over at Vivid or failures like Eon McKai), relentlessly ugly and only erotic for folks who've turned to the Gonzo Dark Side.

Lynn underplays as if she were in a different movie, and comes off wan opposite the ebullient/dangerous Dana DeArmond, sort of like playing scenes with wild man Timothy Carey in his prime. Ryan Driller is more animated than usual as a big star who everyone seems to want to cling to, not a Warhol figure but something like that, and Veruca James is sort of the Girlfriends contract girl thrown in to hump Dana and create jealousy for latter's intended soulmate Chastity Lynn.

A competent writer could have injected some "All About Eve" action into the film to keep the viewer awake and attentive, given that the story skeleton of young Chas moving in on Dana's turf cries out for that plot, but instead we get nothing but cliches and heavy doses of the requisite XXX sex.