28 July 2016 | GelatinousJoe
It wants to be an experience, but lacks... anything to involve or interest
I'd normally start a review by describing what I thought the basic plot of the movie was. In this case, to say Cemetery of splendor has a plot to follow or think about would be misleading. I am not exaggerating when I say that. I don't think I have ever seen a movie that didn't once seem to have any desire to invest me in its story.
The performances, despite the actors having extremely minimal demands from the script, were stiff and unconvincing. The "characters" barely seem like real people, reacting to events and other characters robotically and undramatically. Virtually nothing of consequence happens to anybody the whole movie. The characters certainly don't act like it, and the whole experience comes off as disconnected and distant. There is no narrative thrust and nothing to connect to.
The only positive thing I have to say about Cemetery of Splendor is it looks pretty. Most of the shots in the movie would make for very nice-looking stills. However, the movie holds on most of its shots long past necessary. Nothing is being communicated to the audience, and there is no important revelation to absorb, such as in movies directed by Steve Mcqueen, Micheal Haneke, Stanley Kubrick, or any number of directors that use long picturesque shots.
If I were to sum up Cemetery of Splendor in a word, it would be unmemorable. It fails to entertain, emotionally involve, or intellectually stimulate. Unless you are looking to turn off your brain and stare at a series of pleasing images for two hours with some minimal ambiance, I would not recommend Cemetery of Splendor