14 November 2016 | paul_haakonsen
I would not have ventured into this movie if I had known it was a 'found footage' movie prior to sitting down to watch it. Why? Well, because I detest the 'found footage' genre with a vengeance. It is just such an indescribably ridiculous genre, and once you have seen a single movie in the genre, you have essentially seen them all. Why pay money to watch something that you could practically shoot yourself if you own a digital video camera?
True to the 'how-to-make-a-questionable-found-footage-movie', "The Black Water Vampire" follows that recipe step by step, and it makes for a super predictable movie, and a movie that really is fully and wholly unnecessary.
The movie is about found documentary-makers (duh!) who venture into the woods to investigate the strange and bizarre cases of four murdered women found naked, drained of blood and with odd bite marks on their necks. But as they are alone and deep in the woods, they realize that they are not alone, and that there might actually be some solid proof to the tale of the Blackwater Vampire.
Sheesh, talk about being generic. The storyline is the same cast mold that is used in every single other 'found footage' movie. And the recipe has grown stale and weak a long, long time ago.
Truth be told, I had my mobile phone out within 20 minutes into the movie, after having realized that it was just another generic 'found footage' movie, and I didn't put down the phone before towards the end, just to see how lame the ending of this ordeal of a movie would be. And speaking of the ending, without giving anything away, I can honestly say that the ending was just as ridiculous as the rest of the movie had been.
The acting in the movie, well I will actually say that Danielle Lozeau, Andrea Monier, Anthony Fanelli and Robin Steffen were doing good enough jobs with the limitations imposed on them from the script, the storyline, the genre, and from director Evan Tramel.
As for the effects in the movie, well they were scarce and you only get to see some in the last third of the movie, give or take. The creature effects were adequate, at least for the creature in the forest. The creature in the cabin, not so much... That one was actually downright ridiculous and it had me laughing so hard that I almost spilled my cappuccino.
"The Black Water Vampire" is as generic and predictable as every other movie in the 'found footage' genre. And do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this 2014 movie, because it just isn't worth the effort, at least if you are not a fan of this boring genre.
I am rating this movie a generous two out of ten stars, solely because that the four main acting talents did manage to salvage some of this ordeal.