Chris Parnell credited as playing...
Jerry Smith • Jerry • Agent
- Jerry Smith: If you ever have an affair with that guy I will come to your hotel room and blow my brains out over your naked bodies.
- Jerry Smith: I guess we really learned something today.
- Summer Smith: No we didn't, dad. No we didn't.
- Jerry Smith: This holiday is supposed to be about humanity!
- Morty: I thought it was about being born half-god or something...
- Jerry: [disintegrating Wooden Clone made into a Crucifix] Christianity Again? After Cowboys? You went back around? This is the worst thing to happen to anybody, ever!
- Jerry Smith: [Headward, Free to Rise] I have a hairpin in my cheek but I don't know what to do with it!
- Risotto Groupon: I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant.
- Jerry Smith: Do you have any comment cards, I may have some thoughts.
- Risotto Groupon: My kingdom was usurped by force with weapons and technology supplied by your father-in-law.
- Jerry Smith: My kingdom was usurped too! He basically got me kicked out of my family!
- Risotto Groupon: Then we are brothers! And you have wondered what your life could have been without Rick.
- Jerry Smith: Your mother's lawyer says that if I can win enough in the settlement then he can help me sue for full custody!
- Mom: We're a Sex-Positive Couple!
- Jerry: We watch Pornography together!
- Starfish PA: I'll send you a Gift Basket...