3 September 2015 | quincytheodore
No need for refueling, should've gone straight to junkyard
While Jason Statham might not possess incredible acting, he's a great fit for Transporter. He looks suave and confident, more importantly he looks capable in action sequences. Ed Skrein only amounts to carbon copy lookalike with accent.
Considering it's now stuck with poorly edited choreography for the scuffle, there's barely a trail of usual high octane ride. However, the worst offender is the awful script, bordering on cheap fantasy or softcore porn, the fact that it quotes The Three Musketeers so often is a literature travesty.
A group of prostitutes concocts a ridiculously intricate plan to topple their mafia boss. The Transporter is caught up in the struggle and forced to help them. Story relies on blind luck, coincidences, characters' stupidity and baseless arbitrary events. In other words, it's a complete and utter mess. Forget coherency or plausibility, the movie plays by its own faulty logic.
Unfortunately, the usual captivating fights or engaging chases are nowhere to be found. The movie opts for terrible editing and epileptic camera work instead. It's actually sad that the quirky yet brutal fighting scenes are replaced with such poor production. At the very least previous Transporters' fight is over-the-top fun, this is just confusingly bland.
Script is so awful, almost everything they say sound like 80's macho gibberish, one-liner from porn parody or silly used car commercial. I've high tolerance for cheesy lines, but when the characters literally pose for camera every five minutes to utter these insanely ludicrous lines, it's not even funny anymore.
Like before, Transporter must have damsel-in-distress, now it thinks a group of these attractive ladies would replace narrative. Audience might get juvenile guilty pleasure from the these blond short bob misses with minimal dress or a couple of nifty chases, but these gimmicks are shallow and the best they could do is slightly boost the movie rating if one is generous enough in reviewing it.
With the amount of plot holes and poor choreography it must go through, the end product is unrecognizable wreckage.