26 December 2013 | BA_Harrison
Ho, ho, hopeless.
I'm always prepared for the disappointment of Christmas: the interesting looking parcel that turns out to be a pointless novelty destined for a charity shop; the cracker jokes that are about as funny as a swift kick to the groin; the supposedly 'deep' mince pie with very little mincemeat; and the Doctor Who Christmas special that makes no sense whatsoever.
This year, Doctor Who followed immediately on from popular saccharine crap Call the Midwife, which could make almost anything seem good in comparison, and for a while I was content to see Matt Smith do his usual routine, flapping about and spinning on his heel while spouting nonsensical Who-isms. Plus, in the first few minutes they threw in Daleks, Cybermen AND Weeping Angels to keep fans happy.
Then it all went a bit Pete Tong
The Doctor went to a twee Victorian-style town called Christmas where he stayed for 300 years, protecting the citizens from aliens while refusing to reveal his real name to the Time Lords on Gallifrey through an inter-dimensional crack in a wall. Meanwhile, Clara pulled a few confused expressions (she wasn't the only one) and I had to fight nodding off despite not having touched a drop of alcohol all day long. To make matters worse, Doctor Who eventually vanquished his enemies via an embarrassing 'deus ex machina' served up liked so much week-old turkey, but which in turn at least heralded the arrival of Peter Capaldi, who we can only hope will breathe some new life into this tired show.