Geralt of Rivia: This fog is as thick as curdled milk.

Lambert: Never took you for a poet.

Geralt of Rivia: Oh, but I am one. Wanna hear a limerick?

Lambert: Sure.

Geralt of Rivia: Lambert, Lambert - what a prick.

Lambert: Not bad.

[Geralt finds a vampire lying in a sarcophagus]

Vampire: Is it 1358 yet?

Geralt of Rivia: [puzzled] No.

Vampire: Then *fuck off*.

Geralt of Rivia: [a shapeshifting creature turns into an identical copy of Geralt] Damn, I look old.

Imlerith: Who taught you to fight like this?

Geralt of Rivia: The witcher you slew.

[kills Imlerith]

Geralt of Rivia: I've recovered my memory, completely.

Triss Merigold: Good. That should stop people from taking advantage of you.

Geralt of Rivia: Someone's been taken advantage of me?

Triss Merigold: I have, for one.

Geralt of Rivia: You smell wonderful.

Yennefer of Vengerberg: Geralt - we're at a funeral.

Geralt of Rivia: You smell wonderful at this funeral.

["Ciri empress" ending]

Geralt of Rivia: Is this what you want?

Ciri: Yes... You'll not try to stop me? Take me to the Blue Mountains by force?

Geralt of Rivia: Traveled half the world to find you, but I never intended to force anything on you.

Geralt of Rivia: [Yennefer has thrown the bed off the balcony] Heard about the bed... Really prefer to sleep on the floor? Wouldn't recommend it. That stone can get awfully chilly.

Yennefer of Vengerberg: Frankly, I prefer a chill to bedding littered with red hair.

Geralt of Rivia: So upset about Triss you gotta take it out on the furniture?

Yennefer of Vengerberg: Would you prefer I take it out some other way? Geralt, I don't want to seem like a vindictive shrew, but that very bed is where you just happened to fuck a dear friend of mine.

Vesemir: [about Yennefer] She teleports in, not even a "nice to see you". Jumps right into, uh - "We've a curse to lift. There's this to do, and that - so Eskel and Lambert, get going." Then she went to the guest room, to rearrange things... threw the bed off the balcony.

Geralt of Rivia: Shame, that was a good bed.

Vesemir: Said the same myself. Solid oak frame, down mattress. Triss always said she...

[looks at Geralt; awkward pause]

Vesemir: Aaah, now I see.

Geralt of Rivia: It's either that, or Yen really hates oak furniture.

["Ciri dies" ending]

Weavess: Zireael is dead. Naught but a small frozen corpse in an icy wilderness. And you are afraid... You feel fear.

Geralt of Rivia: You lie. I don't feel a thing anymore.

[Geralt attacks Weavess]

Triss Merigold: [if Geralt tries to persuade Triss to stay with him] We had our chance, but... let it go.

Geralt of Rivia: I... I love you.

Sailor: Miss Merigold! We're castin' off!

[a teary-eyed Triss leaves and gets on the ship]

Dijkstra: Well mate, at least you tried. A sorceress turned me down once. Want to hear the story?

Geralt of Rivia: Go for it. What's the harm.

Dijkstra: As you know my heart fluttered for Philippa Eilhart, back when we both served Redania. One day, I doused myself in fragrances like a whore in a heat wave, put on a pinstriped doublet - they make you look slimmer, you know... And I went to her, told her, Philippa, we've so much in common, and so on. Know what she said?

Geralt of Rivia: Pinstripes hadn't slimmed you down enough?

Dijkstra: No, she said - Geralt, turn around.

Geralt of Rivia: Not in the mood for jokes.

Dijkstra: No, I'm serious. Turn around.

[Triss is standing on the pier]

Lambert: [examining Yennefer's luggages] Sure brought a lot of junk? You'd think she wanna move in here.

Eskel: Ssssshh! You'll scare Geralt!

["Ciri witcher" ending]

Ciri: [Geralt has just bought her a witcher's sword] Beautiful. May I?

Geralt of Rivia: Not here. You'll have ample opportunities soon enough, witcher.

Ciri: Let's try it out, then.

Geralt of Rivia: [the witchers are now completely drunk] Where's Eskel? Shoulda been back by now. We oughta... look around.

Lambert: [suddenly wearing Vesemir's ancient bonnet] This is a job... for Vesemir!

King Radovid V The Stern: [playing chess with himself] They say it's the game of kings. That chess teaches one to think strategically. What a load of rubbish! Both sides have identical pieces, the rules stay invariably the same. How does this mirror real life?

Geralt of Rivia: [about Ciri / Zireael's role in the upcoming battle] Don't have the right to order her around.

Avallach: Amusing. Zireael said the same thing, only at much higher volume.

Geralt of Rivia: Think it's that bad being a witcher?

Lambert: Guess I could've been someone worse... Just a shame I had no choice.

Geralt of Rivia: It was our destiny...

Lambert: Destiny? Let me tell you about destiny. My dad was a drunk. He'd knock a few back, then beat me and Mom bloody. We prayed for his death, every night. One day our prayers were almost answered. Dad lost his way coming home from the tavern, walked smack into a nest of nekkers... But some witcher saved him. Know what he wanted in return? "Give me the first thing you see when you get home." My life... For the life of that prick? I say *fuck* that kinda destiny.

Geralt of Rivia: No joy in having the boundless respect and trust of the local peasantry?

Keira Metz: They'd respect anyone who could produce hemorrhoid cream.

Geralt of Rivia: Damn, you're ugly.

Philippa Eilhart: Don't you think it's time you stopped interfering in Ciri's life?

Geralt of Rivia: No.

Philippa Eilhart: But you do know we're not a pack of wolves you can just drive away from her with your sword.

Geralt of Rivia: Sure you are, and yes, I can. If the need arises.

Geralt of Rivia: [During a game of riddles] I'm light as a feather, but even a troll can't hold me for long.

Troll: Uhh... Uuuuhh... Piss?

Geralt of Rivia: [of Vesemir's death] I can't cry. Don't know how...

Ciri: [sweet and sad, to Geralt] What can you know about saving the world, silly? You're but a witcher.

Vernon Roche: [Dijkstra is betraying the deal with Nilfgaard] You two-faced whoreson... I will not allow this.

Dijkstra: Actually, you, Roche, should be the first to understand I've no choice.

Vernon Roche: Why the hell would I understand?

Dijkstra: [guards surround Roche] Because you too are a patriot.

Geralt of Rivia: [defeating Zoltan at Gwent] Seems I won.

Zoltan Chivay: A right fuckin' shock given your frankly amateur deck. Here, take this card, you need it. You'd do well to fix your collection. It's downright porous. Don't need ye bringin' me shame, got Dandelion for that.

[if Geralt brings Ciri to visit Emhyr but refuses his money]

Geralt of Rivia: Didn't come to collect on a deal. You asked me to bring your daughter here. I did just that. Ciri will hear you out. Then we leave.

Emperor Emhyr var Emreis of Nilfgaard: Are you sure? Never again would you need to stalk monsters while wading through sewage.

Geralt of Rivia: I'm sure.

[Ciri smiles and briefly squeezes Geralt's hand]

Caranthir: [trying to abduct the seemingly unconscious Ciri after a fight] Almost, Zirael. Almost.

[Ciri teleports away]

Caranthir: Ysgarthiad!

Geralt of Rivia: [of the Ddiddiwedhl desert] What is this place?

Avallac'h: A very old world, thoroughly raped and destroyed.

Geralt of Rivia: Anything live here?

Avallac'h: Mainly desert creatures able to survive months on end without water. Oh, and large sandcrabs, beneath the surface. We must be careful they don't sense us.

Geralt of Rivia: And before? Were there any people... or elves?

Avallac'h: Do you believe humanoids have a monopoly on destroying worlds?

[Geralt has tracked down a murderer]

Hubert Rejk: Although... you've not divined all, I see. Had you, you would've drawn your silver sword.

Ghost in the Tree: I can be a gale... A gallop unchained... I shall save them... Only I can...

Ermion: You're going to need a sorceress for this, did you bring one?

Geralt of Rivia: A whole gaggle of them.

Ermion: Gods help us.

[in Geralt's hallucination]

Eredin: [of Ciri] She will still be mine.

Geralt of Rivia: Over my dead body.

Eredin: Nothing simpler.

Ge'els: I detect a shadow of impatience in your faces, it seems. So, what brings you here?

Avallac'h: I've come to tell you who killed our king.

[Ge'els remains in pensive silence for a few moments]

Ge'els: You've gone through a great deal of trouble to reach me... So I must believe you've put equal effort into preparing this lie.

[the Baron has asked Geralt to find his family in exchange for some information about Ciri]

Geralt of Rivia: Huh, what if I refuse, 'cause I just don't want to?

Baron Phillip Strenger: Would you tell me to sod off? Go ahead. But then I'll tell you the same. And what'll that make us? Two helpless, empty-handed sods.

Cerys an Craite: I've as much right to it as you do!

Hjalmar an Craite: And I'd expect you to support me, not pinch my allies! If an an Craite's to wear the crown, it-...

Cerys an Craite: Should be you? 'Cause you got fur growing on your chin, that it?

Hjalmar an Craite: Show some of your own, and the jarls just might listen to you!

Cerys an Craite: Want your mug smacked? Remember! I was lef standin' last time we crossed fists.

Geralt of Rivia: I'm a witcher, not a gigolo.

Geralt of Rivia: Expected you earlier.

Keira Metz: I started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.

Geralt of Rivia: What made you change your mind?

Keira Metz: There are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision. That goes doubly for sorceresses.

[from trailer]

Emperor Emhyr var Emreis of Nilfgaard: She has returned, Geralt... After all these years...

Geralt of Rivia: Are you sure it's her?

Emperor Emhyr var Emreis of Nilfgaard: Yes... and she is in danger. Witnesses claim the Wild Hunt follows her. You must find her.

Geralt of Rivia: And when I do, what then?

Emperor Emhyr var Emreis of Nilfgaard: I shall give her what she deserves.

Ge'els: [to Ciri] Avallac'h blackmailed you- do you not remember? Tried to force you to warm our king's bed? Treated your body like a side of pork.

Geralt of Rivia: Dandelion breaking into a vault... I'd sooner expect him to choose a life of celibacy.

Zoltan Chivay: True... Forgot to pay his wine at the Passiflora once. He laid awake the next three nights worryin' about it.

Geralt of Rivia: Any idea what got into him? He have any debts he needed to pay off?

Priscilla: He claimed he was helping someone. An urgent matter that couldn't wait, he said.

Geralt of Rivia: This "someone"- Dandelion mention their name?

Priscilla: No. But if I know Dandelion, it's "her" name he failed to mention. As he failed to mention "her" slender waist and ample bosom.

Geralt of Rivia: What now, you piece of filth?