Dirty Movie Deadline

I take a firm stand against documentaries in general -I think they are merely regular movies without actors, pretending to be "objective". So JoyBear's DIRTY MOVIE DEADLINE and its assiduous stance of being a documentary didn't faze me.

It 's about as real as Vince McMahon's WWF/WWE antics, but once you shrug off the obvious phoniness there's acceptable voyeuristic sex to be had here.

Premise is that JoyBear head honcho JR dos Santos talked a Canadian stripper into going hardcore, when they met in Vegas at an Adult industry convention. She tells us this tale of her week in London, immersing herself in the art (ain't much to it) of XXX filmmaking and ends up with a satisfactory film debut. Aleena signs off at the end of the film with an expectation of following up, working with the JoyBear team in future, but what emerges is a one-shot instead.

Her commentary is suspect throughout and the amount of sucking up (the other kind) to JoyBear is just standard procedure - now in the DVD era every film is a great one and every shoot heavenly to listen to the Behind the Scenes bonus interviews uncritically. Perhaps the desire to promulgate the myth that humping for a living is the greatest profession of all overcomes the obvious need to manufacture some drama, conflict, anything diverting. The incidents depicted here are capital H Ho-Hum.

To wit: Aleena watches Marc Rose and Syren Sexton hump on a bare set and enjoys it as voyeur. Next day she's shopping with Lou Lou and has sex with her in the clothing store's dressing room.

Premise was that she would make her debut before the cameras on the fifth day in London, but of course we see her entire visit, most of the sex preceding that fateful day. Third day has her nominally directing a sex scene of Danny D (superimposed title informs us his full stage name is Danny Dong) with Michelle Moist (I'm glad she didn't shorten it to Michelle M). Aleena jumps into action as Danny's fluffer, and at the end of the shoot she dives in to give him a hand job in order to elicit the requisite money shot.

Informing us that she became lovey-dovey with the hung British star that night, we get to see a recording of her humping him outdoors the next morning. With all that action under her belt she's more than ready for the official debut in a threesome opposite Megan Coxxx and big Kai Taylor.

Aleena comes away satisfied with the excursion. For me, it was more of a propaganda film than sexy escapism. Punch line is that big-fake-bust Aleena, whose face was unfortunately whupped by the ugly stick, failed to achieve a porn career, even with the backing of JoyBear, hardly a testimonial to the movie's upbeat message.