Astrid Young Teo: It was never my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not.

Wye Mun Goh: Let me get this straight. You both went to the same school. Yet someone came back with a degree that's useful, and the other one came back as Asian Ellen.

Peik Lin Goh: Chinese sons think their moms fart Chanel No. 5.

Rachel Chu: Thanks for meeting me here.

[Eleanor eyes the other two women at the mahjong table]

Rachel Chu: Don't worry about them. They're half-deaf and they only speak Hokkien.

[Long pause as Eleanor reluctantly settles into her seat]

Rachel Chu: My mom taught me how to play. She told me mahjong would teach me important life skills: Negotiation. Strategy. Cooperation.

Eleanor Young: You asked me here, I assume it's not for a mahjong lesson.

[Shows her tiles]

Eleanor Young: Pong.

[Snidely remarks]

Eleanor Young: My mother taught me too.

Rachel Chu: I know Nick told you the truth about my mom, but you didn't like me the second I got here. Why is that?

Eleanor Young: There is a Hokkien phrase 'kaki lang'. It means: our own kind of people, and you're not our own kind.

Rachel Chu: Because I'm not rich? Because I didn't go to a British boarding school, or wasn't born into a wealthy family?

Eleanor Young: You're a foreigner. American - and all Americans think about is their own happiness.

Rachel Chu: Don't you want Nick to be happy?

Eleanor Young: It's an illusion. We understand how to build things that last. Something you know nothing about.

Rachel Chu: You don't know me.

Eleanor Young: I know you're not what Nick needs.

Rachel Chu: [pauses] Well he proposed to me yesterday.


Rachel Chu: He said he'd walk away from his family and from you for good.


Rachel Chu: Don't worry, I turned him down.

Eleanor Young: [sighs] Only a fool folds a winning hand.

Rachel Chu: Mm no. There's no winning. You made sure of that. 'Cause if Nick chose me, he would lose his family. And if he chose his family, he might spend the rest of his life resenting you.

Eleanor Young: [after a long pause] So you chose for him...

Rachel Chu: I'm not leaving because I'm scared, or because I think I'm not enough - because maybe for the first time in my life, I know I am.

[Choking back tears]

Rachel Chu: I just love Nick so much, I don't want him to lose his mom again. So I just wanted you to know: that one day - when he marries another lucky girl who is enough for you, and you're playing with your grandkids while the Tan Hua's are blooming, and the birds are chirping - that it was because of me: a poor, raised by a single mother, low class, immigrant nobody.

[Shows her tiles. Gets up. Walks to her mom who then turns around and gives Auntie Eleanor the silent death glare]

Astrid Young Teo: God forbid we lose the ancient Chinese tradition of guilting your children.

Oliver T'sien: It's about time somebody stood up to Auntie Eleanor. But you, not me, oh god. She can't ever know I was here.

Oliver T'sien: Your skin is so dry it's hurting my face.

Rachel Chu: I'm so Chinese I'm an econ professor with lactose intolerance.

Rachel Chu: I can't believe this airport has a butterfly garden and a movie theatre. JFK is just salmonella and despair.

Eleanor Young: Is this a church? Or a paddy field?

Peik Lin Goh: You kind of look like a slutty Ebola virus.

Rachel Chu: So your family is, like, rich?

Nick Young: We're comfortable.

Rachel Chu: That is exactly what a super-rich person would say.

Rachel Chu: [Incredulous] You have a cocktail dress in your trunk?

Peik Lin Goh: I'm not an animal, Rachel.

Eddie Cheng: If you'd worn the gown, we would have been on American Vogue!

Fiona Cheng: You can wear the gown to hell, Eddie.

Rachel Chu: Our brains so hate the idea of losing something that's valuable to us that we abandon all rational thought, and we make some really poor decisions. So, Curtis wasn't playing to win. He was playing not to lose.

Peik Lin Goh: [to Rachel] She just think you're some like unrefined banana. Yellow on the outside, and white on the inside.

Peik Lin Goh: They're so posh and snobby, it's snoshy!

Peik Lin Goh: [to Rachel] Good for you. Walking away from Nick and his family's fat-ass property portfolio. You have no one, no net worth, but you have integrity. That's why I respect you.

Neenah Goh: [Showing off her luxurious home to Rachel] We were inspired by the Hall of Mirrors in Versaillles.

Peik Lin Goh: [softly, to Rachel] And Donald Trump's bathroom.

Felicity Young: You can explore hell, you dog turd.

Felicity Young: The tan hua plants very rarely bloom, and even then only at night. Their beauty is spectacular but fleeting. By dawn, they'll be gone.

Nick Young: Hey, Mum, everything okay?

Eleanor Young: Does something have to be wrong for me to call?

Nick Young: Yeah, usually.

Nick Young: [as they walk through the food market] Each of these hawker stalls sells pretty much one dish, and they've been perfecting it for generations. You know, this is one of the only places in the world where street food vendors actually earn Michelin stars.

Peik Lin Goh: Rachel, these people aren't just rich, okay. They're crazy rich. Look, there's new money all over Asia. We got the Beijing Billionaires, the Taiwan Tycoons. But the Young family, they're old money rich. They had money when they left China in the 1800s. And they went all the way down here. Not there. Here. They came to Singapore when there was nothing but jungle and pig farmers. There was a snake here, eating an apple. You know what I mean? And they built all of this. Now, they're the landlords of the most expensive city in the world.

Oliver T'sien: I'm one of the poorer relations. The rainbow sheep of the family. But I make myself useful. Whatever the Youngs want, I procure. Golden koi fish, Huanghuali furniture. A rare Cambodian gong.

[Served with extravagant dinner portions at the family table, Rachel is eating rather modestly at Peik Lin Goh's parents house]

Neenah Goh: Don't stand on ceremony, Rachel. This is simple food, lah.

Wye Mun Goh: Ha, cha-cha-cha. Dooon't beeee shyyyy!

[hands Rachel a giant platter of food]

Wye Mun Goh: You're not a model.

[laughs playfully]

Rachel Chu: I am definitely not.

Wye Mun Goh: No, you're not! Not at all, you're far from it.

Rachel Chu: [laughs nervously] I know.

Wye Mun Goh: And make sure ya eat it all cuz I'm watching you.

Rachel Chu: Okay, thank you.

Goh Twin Girl #1Goh Twin Girl #2: [in unison] Apa, can we go trampoline?

Wye Mun Goh: Uh, you haven't finished your nuggets yet, sweetie. Okay, there's a lotta children starving in America. Right? I mean, take a look at her.

[pointing tactlessly at Rachel]

Wye Mun Goh: She's American! Huh? Really skinny. You wanna look like THAT?

Goh Twin Girl #1Goh Twin Girl #2: [in unison] Nooooo!


Nick Young: So, what about us taking an adventure east?

Rachel Chu: [thinking for a minute] You wanna get pork buns in the East Village. That's what it is, isn't it?

Nick Young: I was actually thinking of further east.

Rachel Chu: Like Queens?

Nick Young: Like Singapore, for spring break? Colin's wedding. We've been dating for over a year now, and I think it's about time people met my beautiful girlfriend. Come on, I'm Colin's best man. Don't you wanna see where I grew up? Meet my family, my Ah Ma?

Rachel Chu: [as they arrive at the airport] Okay, game plan. Check our bags, get through security, and then we could eat one of the three homemade Tupperware meals my mom packed for us.

Amanda Ling: [to Rachel] I really admire you. Takes guts, coming all the way over here, facing Nick's family. Especially when Eleanor isn't exactly in your corner.

Rachel Chu: [as they bury the gutted fish from her hotel room] This weekend was supposed to be mani-pedis, cocktails served in pineapples. This definitely wasn't on the menu. Why would Araminta even have friends like them? They're so mean.

Astrid Young Teo: [as they fill in the hole] Well, you grow up your whole lives together, you make excuses for people. Specially the morons.

Eleanor Young: I think we should return to the word of God.

Rachel Chu: So, if you have all this family there, why are we staying in a hotel? Aren't good Chinese sons supposed to stay with their parents?

Nick Young: Well, because A: I'm not that good a son, and B: I just want you to myself, just for a bit.

Rachel Chu: [noticing all of the glares being thrown her way] Is it just me or are people, like, staring at me?

Oliver T'sien: Oh, they're just jealous. You nabbed the crown prince.

Amanda Ling: I can see why Nick put off coming back to Singapore.

Rachel Chu: What do you mean?

Amanda Ling: You know. He was supposed to come back last year, take over the family business. His parents freaked out when he didn't. But, now that he's back, I'm sure all is forgiven.

Rachel Chu: I thought I was here to meet your family, go to your best friend's wedding, eat some good food. Instead, I feel like I'm a villain in a soap opera who's plotting to steal your family fortune.

Nick Young: What happened?

Rachel Chu: I mean, I met Amanda. She told me that everyone here thinks that I'm the evil person that prevented you from moving back to Singapore last year but, when I didn't even know you were supposed to come home.

Nick Young: You have every reason to be upset.

Rachel Chu: I'm not done yet! There was also the gutted, bloody fish that Araminta's friends left for me in my hotel room on my bed next to the words 'Catch this, you gold-digging bitch'... written in big fat serial-killer letters.

Eleanor Young: I chose to help my husband run a business and to raise a family. For me, it was a privilege. But for you, you may think it's old-fashioned. It's nice you appreciate this house and us being here together wrapping dumplings. But all this doesn't just happen. It's because we know to put family first, instead of chasing one's passion.

Rachel Chu: What are you doing tonight?

Peik Lin Goh: I dunno, I was gonna go to FedEx or something.

Lord Calthorpe: [to his managers] Meet the new lady of the house, Eleanor Young.

Rachel Chu: Why didn't you tell me about my father?

Kerry Chu: My husband wasn't a good man. He hurt me. But an old schoolmate of mine helped me through things and we fell in love and I got pregnant with his baby, that's you. I was so afraid my husband would find out and kill us both, so I just took you and I ran to America.

Curtis: [to Rachel, about her cards] Nothing! This whole time you had nothing.

Nick Young: When we first met, you had no idea who I was, who my family were. You didn't care!

Rachel Chu: Yeah, I don't care about that stupid stuff.

Nick Young: Well, exactly. You are so different from all of the women that I grew up with.

Alix Young: Look! They are in full bloom!