22 March 2017 | Coventry
Creative ways to kill people using a
Based on no less than 3 sequels in the "Wrong Turn" franchise, 1 sequel in the "Joyride" franchise and 1 bizarre creature-feature experiment called "Sharktopus", I think it's safe to assume that director Declan O'Brien will probably never win any Academy Awards, but you can definitely rest assured that his films deliver lots of deranged monsters/psychopaths, nauseating gore effects and excruciatingly painful on-screen death sequences! And, as I'm sure many horror genre fanatics will agree with me, sometimes those are exactly all the things you require in order to have a good time! Last weekend, I attempted to start watching no less than three other (more ambitious and classier) thrillers, but I was too tired and kept falling asleep. I had almost given up my desire to watch something, but then "Joyride 3" started on television. This movie didn't have any problems whatsoever to keep me awake and entertained, and sometimes that's simply the best possible compliment you can write about a horror movie!
The plot of "Joyride 3: Road Kill" – hardly an imaginative subtitle, by the way – is a non-stop spitfire of the most derivative and overused horror clichés. You know, there's even a variation on the good old-fashioned, mad-raving local who tries to warn the dumb kids not to take Highway 17! That scene certainly brought back a lot of fond 80s slasher memories! Every single one of the main and supportive characters are walking & talking stereotypes and the chronological order in which they are most likely to get slaughtered is easy to foretell from the moment they open their mouths. There isn't any tension building whatsoever, lots of stuff doesn't make any sense and there are numerous errors in continuity (unless you're willing to believe that giant cumbersome 18-wheel truck travels quicker than a race car). But the most crucial question to ask here is: does it all matter? No, absolutely positively not!
The simple truth is that "Joyride 3" is about a psycho-trucker who goes after a bunch of amateur street racers because they nearly drove him off the road. Well, in all likelihood he was going to go after them even if they didn't drove him off the road. While the group falls apart, our trucker – Rusty Nail – cheerfully massacres them one by one. The cool thing is that he uses his truck or assets the truck as murder weapon, so naturally it gets very messy! If you're a true gorehound, there are some marvelous rewind-sequences here. I like your movies, Mr. Declan O'Brien. That "Sharktopus" thing is an insult to the intellect to every living creature, but the "Wrong Turn" sequels are fun and so is "Joyride 3".