Myself and my Father decided to rent out a new film for our Dirty Film Friday sessions unfortunately Mission Impossible wasn't available at the X-Rated video shop so we thought this would be a great compromise.
The film starts off in the city of California and our lead actress Brandy Aniston is seen talking on the phone to a mysterious man... Brandy seems to want this man to come over and fix her boiler which is sort of a strange opening for a spy film, but we'll roll with it for now.
The plumber (Played by Oscar nominated actor, stunt man and 4th man on the moon Bill Bailey) eventually arrives and drops fixes the boiler, though she said that she has no money to pay him which I find utterly ridiculous, it's as if she doesn't understand how a capitalist society works. Luckily she figures out that if she lets him put his dirty vein plunger in her pipes then it'll cover the cost.
The scenes were very well lit and the acting was superb however, when Bill pulls the vein plunger out of Brandy's pipe a bit of brown sweetcorn falls on the floor which made me feel very ill because I was eating corn on a cob with Nutella dip at the time.
Bill leaves and it turns out that he did a pretty good job fixing the boiler but he forgot to clean it! (Typical!) so she had to call over Barry Scott (Seriously that's the actors name look at the list) to come over with some Cillit Bang. Unfortunately as is typical of attractive blonde women, she thought that she wouldn't have to pay her way and would get the service for free, but our main man Barry Scott ain't no sucka.
Barry Scott makes a deal that if he can give her some... "Cillit Bang" without the il then it's job a good'un. What unfolds is some of the most passionate love making that I have ever witnessed in cinema history. 50 Shades of Gray doesn't even come close to this masterpiece, as the pair are having beautiful intercourse to the gentle silhouette of "Photograph" by the best band in the world Nickelback you really feel the intense emotion on your hot tip.
My rating - 7/10 - Absolutely beautiful and majestic, I also like that Barry Scott is a straight up playa, I aspire to be like him.
My Dads rating - 7/10 - My son kept throwing up after the sweetcorn scene which ruined both my immersion and my white rug, though it was a great film!
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