25 March 2015 | movienerd1095679
so bad it's offensive!
just when i thought this franchise couldn't get any worse, they had to make another one... and i was wrong, just dead wrong! okay, where the hell to start? well, might as well talk about some backstory. i've never been a fan of The Swan Princess, ever. even as a kid, i could see the movie was pretty bad. i didn't like it back then, i still don't like it today. then, despite being Crest Animation's biggest box office bomb to date, the movie still found a way to make crappier sequels. Swan Princess 2 was a bit of an improvement and obviously the best movie of the franchise, but that's not saying much. then, the franchise went downhill with the third movie, hit rock bottom with Swan Princess Christmas, and we got this. this, the worst one yet! it was literally so bad, it gave me flashbacks of the last abomination. and here's why:
1) the writing. oh my god, the writing! if this movie would've been about Odette and Derek adopting a little girl, without any other s@#$%y subplots, this movie would've been at least tolerable. but no. no no no no! they had to turn it into one of the most convoluted fantasy stories ever, drowning the movie in the overuse of fake prophecies, magical stones, bland and boring mythology and non-stop peril that's gonna traumatize kids. add in the fact that this movie has terrible pacing where a lotta scenes go nowhere and are never resolved, i still have no idea how the hell they butchered it. 2) the animation. here's a tip for ya: if you have a movie that was made in 2D animation, making it CGI 4 movies in IS PROBABLY THE STUPIDEST DECISION EVER!!! who the f@#k thought this was a good idea? whoever it was, they should be fired immediately! you should NEVER do that! cause this movie looks UGLY! the characters look gross, up to the point of looking disturbing, the movements are stiff and the graphics suck, the backgrounds are lifeless, the flying squirrels are creepy to look at and everything else feels completely flat, like it came from a s@#$%y PS1 video game. 3) the characters. okay, these characters were NEVER good. there's no depth or development to any of them. but at least - AT LEAST - they've never been as bad and stupid as they were in here. honestly, i hate them even more right now. Derek and Odette are as bland and boring as ever, the side characters still suck, the flying squirrels are creepy and overused, Alice serves nothing to the plot (she never does anything) and it has the worst villain of the franchise.
what the hell? The Swan Princess 5 is just terrible, spreading nothing but absolute boredom, with one of the most terribly written stories in an animated movie, awful animation, characters that get worse and worse with every movie, horrible pacing and the fact that the movie's only 79 minutes long but feels WAY longer than it should. it's the worst animated movie of 2014. avoid at all costs!!