I'm one who misses the prime time soaps of the '80s, which have been replaced by crime and reality shows.
I decided to tune into The Royals, a new series on E! mainly because I read that Joan Collins was in it. She's always good for a laugh.
Well, it's hard to know what to say. Soaps, particularly night time soaps, were always trashy. But the acting was good, featuring people like Jane Wyman and Julie Harris, and there were usually some good dramatic scenes, even if the plots could be typically soapy.
The Royals is different. First, it's on E!, the trash channel of television, with its true stories of celebrities, the Kardashians, fashion criticism, etc.
Second, the writing is awful.
Third, some of the acting is worse than the writing.
Fourth, times have changed so there are no holds barred when showing revolting behavior.
The story concerns a royal family of England - not the present one, another one, as if the House of Windsor didn't exist. The King is a good man, but he has a treacherous brother. Because of the death of the elder son, Robert, in a plane crash, the next in line becomes Liam (William Moseley). He is the twin of Princess Eleanor (Alexandra Park).
Park looks like an overly made up Kate Middleton. The model for her character was probably Justin Bieber. She's a complete slut and drug addict, and in the last episode, she sprayed her room with graffiti.
The Prince is a nice boy, though a playboy, and very good-looking. His present girlfriend is an American, though he is being pursued by his ex-girlfriend, a blond bimbo. William Moseley is very good in the role. Brother and sister are devoted and loyal to one another.
Eleanor seems to model her behavior after her mother, who is also a slut and takes drugs, which she gets from Eleanor. The Queen slept with the same bodyguard that Eleanor slept with.
The Queen also has a secret boyfriend. She is highly manipulative and scheming. Joan Collins plays her mother, and if Alexandra Park wears a lot of makeup, Joan wears a ton.
The Queen Consort is beautiful and glamorous - well, it's Elizabeth Hurley and she looks fabulous, even when she's throwing her thong at the Prime Minister so he can wear it.
The King (Vincent Regan) takes walks alone. I actually came in on this show late so I don't know what his story is.
There is a lot of treachery going on behind the scenes, much of it between the Queen and her brother-in-law (Jake Maskall) who wants the throne for himself. Maskell plays this role in a very campy fashion, I'm assuming on purpose.
Also, there are a lot of music video-type sections within an episode.
I'm embarrassed to be watching this, but it's like an accident you can't stop looking at. And make no mistake, it's a real soap and E! actually has a magazine with news of them online, called De-Throned.
It's outrageously fun and outrageously bad.