As a straight spouse, I love this show! The one thing I'd like to work in is Straight Spouse Network, www.straightspouse.org , an organization and support group that has saved many of us.
I'm five years out from disclosure on June 12. My ex and I are in a really good place. I'm no longer in love with him... but we love and care about each other a lot. We are very good friends and awesome parents together to our four young daughters. He has a serious boyfriend who seems like a good guy that has met the kids.
But no matter how good of a place we're in, tgt (the gay thing) is something we never totally "get over." The pain is too deep and life changing.
Watching Grace & Frankie, I started crying when Frankie went to her gay husband/best friend's bed and cuddled. Totally me. I clung to him after disclosure. I found the most comfort in the arms of the person causing my pain. In many respects, my ex is like the character Sol. I pretty much cried through the first episode after that cuddling scene. ... though laughing at the jokes, through tears that seemed to hit the mark in many ways. This show has people involved who have lived through this trauma. That is clear in so many ways that a non-straight spouse wouldn't notice.
While this show isn't the exact straight spouse experience, for entertainment, it is a massive flying leap in the right direction, many things are a true reflection of our experience. It not only puts the idea of straight spouses in front of the general public, it focuses a show on their pain and process more than anyone else has dared to do.
If a show or movie reflected the true experience of a str8, no one would produce it or watch it yet. No one could tolerate a show about my bawling, vomiting, curled up in a ball on the cement basement floor under a shelving unit, wishing the earth would suck me in.... while being unable to answer the calls of my children trying to find me. Weeks in, it would celebrate my victory of managing to make Mac&Cheese. That show would have no viewers resulting in no one being exposed to straight spouses... or having a clue that it hurts.
I am grateful for this show and the huge impact it's making. It gives the entertainment industry permission to share the straight spouse experience in an honest manner. It'll only become more honest and true as the industry and audiences become comfortable with it.
Thank you for this show!!!