Jim's Father: [answers door, sees David in uniform] Jesus Christ.

[David looks down at his clothes, confused]

Jim's Father: Jimmy, it's your friend!

[Jim starts to exit]

Jim's Father: Where the hell are you going at this hour?

Jim Stone: Official police business, Dad.

Jim's Father: Who's the cop?

Jim Stone: I am, Dad - we both are.

Records Clerk: You just reached for my phone in a suspicious manner.

David Waters: No, I didn't.

Records Clerk: [ignores] That would suggest you're hear under the auspices of illegal activity.

David Waters: I think that guy has a friend with deep pockets.

Jim Stone: That's very deep. Very deep.

David Waters: [notices nearby customer] I think that guy's getting a handjob. He's still eating so it's hard to tell.

Jim Stone: [indicating bail statement for $200,000 cash] What do you think?

Jim's Father: Well, I think there's a lot more to making a cop than just paper.

Jim Stone: Yes, but I just thought it was unusual.

Jim's Father: It is.


Jim's Father: You know, a good cop is going to look at it and know exactly what to do.

David Waters: [sees Jim smother a lemon wedge with tabasco sauce] What's that for?

Jim Stone: Have you ever tried it?

David Waters: I can't say that I have.

Jim Stone: Well, you take this one, and I'll take the other.

[grabs other lemon wedge smothers with tabasco]

David Waters: What are we, in the sixth grade? I'm not going to eat this.

[Jim downs lemon wedge]

[repeated line]

Russian Roulette Detective: Tell you what, I'll flip you for it.

Records Clerk: I'm going to call the sheriff.

David Waters: I'll give you $100.

Records Clerk: Okay.

David Waters: [stunned silence] O-okay.

[hands her wad of cash]

David Waters: You know, you're lucky this investigation is so well funded.

[Clerk looks unamused]

Jim Stone: [looks inside cylinder] This is full of cocaine.

Mechanic: [laughs] Yeah, I know.

Jim Stone: This needs to be submitted as evidence.

Mechanic: [smile fades] Yes, right, absolutely, sorry.

Mechanic: [indicating jumbo-sized tractor] He wants this thing for his son?

Jim Stone: Son-in-law.

Mechanic: Well, okay, that's quite the gesture.

Jim Stone: You're a positive thinker, and I respect you. And I fucking dig you.

Captain Harris: [reviewing Jim's mobile unit proposal] This is, uh, expensive. Look, Jim, I don't know what I can do about this. You're going to have to talk to the commander.

Jim Stone: But, I did, and he told me I need to speak with you.

Captain Harris: [dubious] Right. You know, you really should just talk to the commander about it.

Jim Stone: [pause] Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir.