Curse of the Witching Tree (2015)

Oh dear. I have contemplated creating an IMDb profile to be able to post reviews in the past, but this was the movie that finally compelled me to get off my a**e and put pen to paper. Not because CotWT is so irredeemably awful (although it is), but because a number of the early reviews to be posted here were so thoroughly misleading. I can only re-iterate what others have already suggested: the positive reviews can ONLY have been posted by people with a vested interest in promoting this pile of garbage. But, to an extent, they did their job - I was suckered into watching the movie, and I daresay I wasn't the only one. Hey-ho.

I'm not going to bother saying too much about the movie itself, there's no real point. The script is direction-less and largely incomprehensible. The acting is laughable - there is a reason you have never heard of any of these actors before, and you certainly won't be hearing of them in the future. The plot consists of taking just about every scary movie cliché and putting them together in a series of badly-acted, largely unrelated scenes. And the editing is absolutely laughable, probably the worst aspect of the whole sorry enterprise. I was sat watching this with my wife and daughter and, after fifteen minutes or so of us all sitting in embarrassed silence at the horror unfolding before our eyes, I turned to them and said "This is without doubt the worst movie I have ever watched". I wasn't even joking. However, this was a turning point of sorts, since from that moment onwards we were all able to relax and enjoy the movie for its unique awfulness, rather than trying to discern any sort of artistic merit in it. It actually made for quite an entertaining ninety minutes or so, as we sat there laughing as one pointless cliché followed another in this procession of over-acted, poorly scripted dross.

If I were to recommend this film on any level, it would be just that: if you are looking for a challenger for your own Worst Movie Ever Watched list, this could well be the one you have been waiting for.

Bleuch.