Kidnapped in Romania (2016) User Reviews (10)

Speechless

[plazarus-99602 · 1/10 · 16 February 2017]

This was a strange movie. I mean, there was a plot. It's just that the rest like character depth and acting was left out completely.

This film was, in my opinion, the worst thing I have ever seen. There were plot holes (more like sink holes) that were so big they were unavoidable. The theft of the items from the car, the abduction, the lack of anything of interest happening, the ridiculously slow pace and the terrible dialogue were just the start.

The acting was bad, especially considering the actors have been in numerous projects previously. Or maybe, just maybe, they were acting terrible and, as such, they are amazing actors.

I really struggled through the first 10 minutes and decided to persevere through to the end, but as I had no interest in the characters or even the outcome at any point, I really would give this movie a wide berth.

How they convinced Michael Madsen or Paul Sorvino to even be associated with this is perhaps the greatest mystery of our generation.

Watching paint dry really IS more fun.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[daniel-mannouch · 2/10 · 26 March 2017]

Wow, just wow. Celluloid atrocity this bad doesn't come round that often and so must be cherished.

This is a distinctively European disasterpiece that combines an ambitious screenplay, Attempts at nuanced drama, hideous casting, opaque cinematography, a pointless groping scene, hilarious miscasting, lows of distinguished careers, abysmal pacing, aggressive stereotyping, did i mention the casting?

Those were meant to be Romanian teenagers. They, were not. They were a middle aged Chinese man and a black man. Are there Chinese and black people living in Romania? It's a wide world out there. But any mofo with a half a brain could tell that those casting choices were not out of a desire to bring light upon Eastern Europe's ethnic diversity. Or was it? It wasn't. They were the only guys you could get who would do the nonsense you wanted them to do. Maybe.

That's not important. What is, is that Kidnapped in Romania is a meandering, off-kilter piece de ineptness that MIGHT just be the worst thing Madsen ever starred in, nevertheless Sorvino. I guess i was looking for something more trashy than what i got, which is why i'm so miffed i guess. But that still doesn't stop the film from being a poorly paced, acted and scripted mess that has no idea what it's audience is. The art-house ending makes sense dramatically, but was not built up properly at all and will then of course lead many to say it's one of the worst they've ever encountered.

To say that this film was mis-marketed is an understatement and a half. Like Essex Vendetta, this is a mediocre art film masquerading as a clone of more competently made commercial films (Taken and Footsoldier in this regard). Oh, its not like how it used to be. Only that this is twice as hilarious as Vendetta. One for the beer night or whatever you people do.

One of the worst movies ever made

[RodrigAndrisan · 1/10 · 11 July 2016]

You haven't heard of the black guy Vasile? In fact, the actor Eebra Toore? He's the greatest actor in the whole world ever, this film is strong evidence. And you haven't heard neither of the black Bogdan guy? I mean, the actor Gouchy Boy? He's even bigger than the first one, big in everything, also present in this production. Awkward, uncomfortable, embarrassing, pathetic, that's all I can say. I am Romanian myself and I feel awkward to see Maia Morgenstern, who starred in "The Passion of the Christ" (2004) and "Ulysses' Gaze" (1995) in this total embarrassing production. I know how hard it is to be an actor, especially in a region like Romania. I wonder how much they were paid, Michael Madsen, Paul Sorvino, Maia Morgenstern.

Purely bad

[Leofwine_draca · 1/10 · 27 February 2017]

I watched KIDNAPPED IN ROMANIA, expecting from the cover for it to be a typical action thriller with an East European setting and imported American star in the form of a slumming-it Michael Madsen. Well, I was right about the slumming-it Madsen, but everything else was unexpected, and not in a good way. I expected something of the quality of a recent Steven Seagal-starring straight-to-DVD thriller, but what I got was far worse.

The whole thing is a genuine Romanian production rather than simply a Hollywood picture shot in Europe. The filmmaking style is far below what you would expect. There's a long, drawn-out plot about theft and gangsters, and a whole lot of dialogue, and not much else. Madsen hangs around on a porch in a few scenes but this is mostly made up of unknown actors struggling with the English language. The whole movie has an amateurish feel and it completely falls down as a thriller, in fact as a proper film full stop. Watch out for Paul Sorvino's intensely embarrassed cameo.

As a Romanian, i am deeply offended

[banila_silviu_marian · 1/10 · 7 April 2017]

This so call „movie" got me very angry, because of the stereotypical portraying of Romanians. We are not like they mock us in this mediocre production. „Kidnapped in Romania„ should never been released, it"s deeply racial and a very, very bad attempt of movie-making. Let"s start with the beginning: the acting is awful, the characters very poorly written, like the nonexistent script. I don"t know how Michael Madsen accepted to be part of such a stupid movie. Practically, we have two lovers coming to Romania for a tourism documentation and some rednecks aka Romanians who „kidnapped them". This production seems like a blow in the head for us, because of the unjust portraying of our people: a bunch of savages and gypsies. And that"s not all: for a unknown reason, the roles of the Romanians are played by blacks and Asians, another racial part of the movie. Why such a terrible parody? Why mocking Romanians? Do yourself a favor and don"t watch this production, even if you are Romanian. Don"t let the names fool you: Maia Morgenstern, Paul Sorvino, Michael Madsen. I am a movie lover and i saw many terrible movies in my life (so i can appreciate the golden ones), but this one it"s purely mean and useless.

DON'T BE TAKEN

[nogodnomasters · 1/10 · 18 April 2018]

My bad. I bought the film based on the DVD cover. I expected a young girl to be kidnapped and then Michael Madsen save her in Romania because Seagal had Bulgaria and Liam Neeson had Albania. Not even close. Two photojournalists working for a travel magazine or something are working in Romania. They are in a small village and Miriam (Andrea Stefancikova) wants to see her dad's grave marker. As it turns out dad was not that nice of a guy and she gets kidnapped by inept criminals. The characters were stupid...and I mean that literally. Madsen grunted when we first meet him. There are two special farm hands and Bogdan (Gouchy Boy) was really pathetic

Low on action. Drama not that great. Terrible script. $9.96 US Walmart

Guide: F-word, rape, nudity (Andrea Stefancikova)

A deadly dull ordeal

[Woodyanders · 3/10 · 16 February 2022]

Two journalists traveling through Romania on assignment run afoul of assorted criminal lowlifes after their car gets a flat tire. Sound good and exciting? Well, it sure isn't either of those two things thanks to Carlos Fusco's slack direction and excruciatingly talky script. Worse yet, Fusco not only lets the meandering story plod along at a painfully sluggish pace, but also fails to generate any essential tension or sense of urgency. Michael Madsen,, Gouchy Boy, and Maia Morgenstern are saddled with thankless roles to play while poor Paul Sorvino has a nothing cameo at the very end. Only Eebra Toore and Yoon C. Joyce as a pair of amusingly inept thieves provide anything in the way of entertainment in this overall seriously tedious clunker.

You other members have no taste in regards to cinematography.

[cmv32261 · 2/10 · 2 May 2016]

You other members have no taste in regards to cinematography.

Average rating of 5 point whatever, if it were not for Michael Madsen growing a pair towards the very end of the movie and killing that fat slob there would have been no redemption for that lame plot.

I wonder how the law enforcement officers of Romania's outback would appreciate the average cop being portrayed as bought and paid for by the organized crime bosses.

You other members have no taste in regards to cinematography.

Average rating of 5 point whatever, if it were not for Michael Madsen growing a pair towards the very end of the movie and killing that fat slob there would have been no redemption for that lame plot.

A mix of drama,action, thriller, romance and comedy

[pinkvision-19153 · 8/10 · 15 May 2017]

I am half Romanian and I believe that many people from Romania are not open minded, they don't understand that a movie is usually an act of fiction. What about Tarantino that used a French actress playing the Yacuza boss? I believe that this movie has many new elements for a movie made in East Europe. Photography is great, the plot runs good, it's not boring, the dialogues stop at the right time, there is action and suspense, it has a very unexpected end, too. Some actors are good, others great and it's amazing to see how Michael Madson feels comfortable in the Romanian countryside. There are some moments that made me laugh, the two young peasants are very funny. I think this film is a mix of drama, action, thriller, romance and comedy, all treated in a smooth way. The locations and the landscapes seemed to me like extrapolated from a romantic ballad, I liked the guitar , too; made contrast with the danger and the wickedness of the evil characters. Certainly, the cover of the DVD doesn't make justice at all, if you expect guns and bombs, this is not the right movie. As far as I know, especially in independent movies, many times it is not the director's or producer's choice, but the movie seller's. It is very hard for a Romanian featured film to be sold all over the world and this one did. Liked it!

An interesting movie for the open minded

[wells-barry · 7/10 · 9 July 2016]

At the time of writing, this movie only has two very negative reviews. This has motivated me to write a review to provide some balance.

While I don't rate this a great movie, I quite liked it. It was nicely shot, the acting was competent and the story line was intriguing. One reviewer's objections were the cinematography, which I thought very good, and the inclusion of corrupt police, which is a staple of industry.

The other reviewer's objection seemed to be the ethnic diversity of the actors for a movie set in Romania. It is a movie, a work of fiction, not a documentary. As far as I know there are no Hobbits living in New Zealand and no wizards living in the UK, that hasn't stopped the Lord of the Rings movies or the Harry Potter movies being very popular (although not my taste). As far as I know interstellar space travel is not possible, but Alien was a great movie.

The story line of this movie reminded me of Homer's Odyssey mixed with elements of Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. The cinematography was Felliniesque. The interest is in character development and the reactions of characters to the situations they find themselves in. If you only are interested in Hollywood action movies then you may want to avoid this movie. If you want to sit down with an open mind for 90 minutes and think about what you are seeing then I suggest you consider watching this movie.