Dean (2016)
Kevin Kline: Robert
Photos
Quotes
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Carol : Well, let's see if we got any more... potential bidders.
Robert : Wait, wait, wait. What was that? That looked like you.
[puts on glasses]
Carol : You don't want to...
[chuckles]
Carol : That's embarrassing.
Robert : What is that?
Carol : My charming sister decided to create an online dating profile for me, and I spent much of yesterday trying to take a usable photo to throw myself a strangers online.
Robert : I'm just curious. 'I like listening to jazz, take - ' Oh, sophisticated. 'Taking long walks... forests. One of your interests is 'forests'?
Carol : I've - well, I like...
Robert : You're interests is forests?
Carol : Well, I like nature and trees and, like, being out in nature.
Robert : Oh, I see. Oh, yeah, of course. Well, sure.
Carol : Was that - Does that sound weird?
Robert : No, I... I just don't...
Carol : Should I just have said trees?
Robert : No, no, forests - I see. I just did - You - - -The wording. You don't want to attract, like, a lumberjack or a hermit or a...
Carol : A lumberjack who's online dating? I don't think I have to worry about that.
Robert : If you said 'I like taking long, shady walks', that implies for us.
Carol : That sounds threatening like I'm a mugger or something.
-
Robert : [phone rings] Oh, my God, that's my - it's my new phone.
[reaches phone out of his pocket]
Robert : Sorry. Here we go. I-I can't talk now. I'm with my son. You see, I'm busy?
Dean : It can't see you. It's - It's more of a voice thing.
Robert : Oh, you think it can't see me? Yeah, dream on. They know what's going on at the other end of this thing. There.
[camera flashes]
Robert : Oh, I just took a picture of my sandwich. Okay, hang on. Hang on. Come on.
Robert : [turns off phone] Oh, good.
Dean : Smooth.
-
Robert : I just don't know what you're doing.
Dean : What am I supposed to be doing? I just took a trip, and now I'm here.
Robert : Even when you're here, you're not here. Wherever you are, I need you to come back.
Dean : Okay, er, to where? Should I come home maybe? Oh, I forgot. You sold your house. You sold Mom's house while I was away, so that's gone.
Robert : Oh, I see. I get it. I see the problem. What exactly did you want me to do? Just go on living there alone?
Dean : No, I don't know what I want you to do. I just-I want to stop living under this cloud. I want to stop talking about life and death and how I'm not grieving right. We're not helping each other, so why don't we just stop?
Robert : Okay. No, I think that sounds very healthy. I'm glad we had this talk.
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Carol : Well, you know, you had a really good relator.
Robert : Yes, well done.
Carol : To full asking price.
[they both clink their wine glasses]
Robert : Oh, full asking price, yes. Now how do I break the news to my son?
Carol : Mmm. Well, we could ask for some extra time before closing. People are understanding about that.
Robert : He's just been on loose ends, kind of, you know, missing in action for a while. Now he's in L.A. I don't know what he's doing. I keep thinking he's gonna come home with a Mohawk and face piercings.
Carol : People still get Mohawks?
Robert : Oh, if Dean thought he would help him not get a job, he'd get two Mohawks.
Carol : [chuckles] How do you - How do you get two Mohawks? I...
Robert : You put two Mohawks together, and you...
[He motions two Mohawks around his head. Carol laughs]
Robert : I don't know. It'd be sort of an X, look like a heliport.
Carol : Maybe he's just trying to figure himself out.
Robert : Yeah, he's been trying for a while.
[sighs]
Robert : I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this. I don't want to cross any lines.
Carol : Don't be silly. You've already crossed those lines, and that's okay.
Robert : Okay.
-
Robert : I-I'm sorry. I -
[chuckles]
Robert : I'm sort of stuck here. I don't think I can...
Carol : I shouldn't have made the first move. I think I was too forward.
Robert : No, no, no, no, no. I - I don't know what it is, but it's... I really like you. No, and...
Carol : But?
[pause]
Robert : But - Well, the truth is... I don't quite know who I am. You know, since... Since my... My wife...
Carol : Oh.
Robert : Do you understand? I mean... It seemed like a good idea.
Carol : Of course. I get it. That is just my luck, man. I finally meet a guy I really like and turns out he's married.
Robert : I guess that's it, yeah.
Carol : Good night, Robert.
-
[first lines]
Voicemail : [beeps] Next saved message.
Karen, Dean's Mother : Hey, Dean, it's Mom. I just wanted to tell your dad and I had the best time with you and Michelle last night. It was so fun visiting you guys in Brooklyn. Anyway, I'll talk to you soon and love you, bye.
[phone beeps]
Voicemail : Message saved.
[voicemail beeps once more]
Robert : Hi, it's your dad. I'm, er, hoping you're alive. If so, call me because I have some important news.
Voicemail : [phone beeps] Message erased.
-
Phone Store Salesman : And this dinosaur no longer roams the Earth.
Robert : Really? Since when?
Phone Store Salesman : About eight years ago. I can set you up with basically an update version of that, which is this one right here. Do you watch TV?
Robert : Yeah, I watch TV.
Phone Store Salesman : You can watch TV on the phone.
Robert : I'll just watch it on my TV.
-
Dean : Dad, I wanted to talk to you.
Robert : About the house?
Dean : No. You were right. I disappeared for a while.
Robert : It's okay. You don't need to apologize.
Dean : No, I do. I was running and I'm sorry. I just...
[beat]
Dean : You know, I think about Mom every day. I'll pass that bookstore where we used to meet up, or smell her perfume, or just... It's just... She's everywhere, you know? No matter what I do, I just keep thinking about her every day. Even when I try not to. So many things remind me of her, and... Dad, I can't imagine what you've been going through.
[He hugs Robert]
Dean : I'm sorry.
Robert : It's okay. It's okay. I know. I know. It's okay.
Dean : I'm sorry.
Robert : No. No, no. Sit down.
Dean : I'm worried about you.
Robert : I know you are, but don't worry about me. I'm gonna be fine. I'm not sure when, but I'm sure I'm gonna be fine.
Dean : Yeah.
Robert : I miss your mom a lot. That's not gonna stop, but I can't tell you how lucky I feel that I got to be with her as long as I did.
Dean : Yeah.
Robert : And how lucky I feel that we had you. It's good to have you back. Don't disappear on me, okay?
Dean : I won't. You, too.
Robert : Oh, I'm not gonna disappear. You know where to find me. I'm here. It's a deal
[they shake hands]
Dean : Okay.
-
Robert : When are you getting a haircut? I've not seen your forehead in 15 years.
Dean : With the hair again?
Robert : You're living in the '60's.
[He demonstrates life in the '60s with the hair and Hare Krishna thing]
Dean : What is that? Was that the '60's?
Robert : Yeah.
[demonstrates slide whistle]
Robert : It's done.
Dean : I'm in the conga line and I'm playing a slide whistle.
Robert : That wasn't the conga line. I was doing the Hare Krishna thing.
Dean : It looks like a conga line.
Robert : I see.
-
Robert : Look, I'm... I'm going to talk to you about, some news.
Dean : Mm-hmm?
Robert : I'm gonna sell the house.
Dean : What are you talking about?
Robert : I'm selling the house.
Dean : You're just out of the blue gonna sell our house?
Robert : It's not out of the blue. I've given it some thought, ok? I can't live there. It's-it's ridiculous. It makes no sense for me to stay there. It's too big.
Dean : It's too big?
Robert : Yeah.
Dean : Could you just like not use all the rooms or something? Maybe you could like, I don't know, cover up the furniture in some of the rooms under there with sheets. Just don't go in there.
Robert : Wha - Like I'm a countess?
Dean : I don't know. I just think this is hasty, you know? We need to talk about this. I grew up there. I don't want to just sell our house.
Robert : Dean, It...
[phone rings]
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Robert : [on voicemail] Hello, you have reached Robert. Sorry I missed your call, Please leave a message, and I'll do my best to return it as soon as I can.
-
Dean : [on the phone] Hey, Dad.
Robert : Oh, you're there. Are you back?
Dean : No, I'm still in LA. I decided to stay a bit longer
Robert : What are you doing out there.
Dean : Just working on my tan. I was gonna maybe get my chest waxed.
Robert : You are?
Dean : No, I'm just catching up with Eric and just trying to take a little break, just - I'm out here.
Robert : A break from what?
Dean : You know, just everything at home. Things are kind of heavy. I just want to get a little breather.
Robert : I see. No, it's a good idea. Why don't you go on to Hawaii?
Dean : Okay, I'm not on vacation. I'm still working on my new book. You know, I can do that from here, too.
Robert : I need to talk to you about the house.
Dean : Okay, okay, right, yeah. Let's talk about the house.
Robert : We had an open house and...
Dean : Whoa, wait, wait. We were gonna make the decision about the house together.
Robert : Yeah, we did. I did. And I - Since you decided to run away.
Dean : Okay, I didn't run away. I came to meet those ad people. Can we just not do anything about the house until I get back? Okay?
Robert : Okay.
