Karma Johnstone: It's a poncho, bitch.

Deborah Ward: Let me make something very clear, Miss Del Rio. It is in your best interest to get along with me.

Richard Martinez: Let me make something very clear TO YOU, Debbie. I'm fuckin' this cat. You just hold the legs.

Richard Martinez: I'm Richard.

Karma Johnstone: Karma. Karma Johnstone.

Richard Martinez: Your parents must be a good time.

Karma Johnstone: Why's that?

Richard Martinez: Well, most parents don't name their children after Buddhist principles.

Karma Johnstone: Would you prefer that I had a normal name, something plain, like Mary?

Cowboy Willie: Mary's not plain! Mary's angelic!

Karma Johnstone: I know plenty of Marys. None are angelic.

Cowboy Willie: Mary was the mother of Jesus!

Karma Johnstone: If someone were to ask me to bear the child of God, I'd have to say no.

Cowboy Willie: You'd abort the baby Jesus? Abortion is murder!

Cheerleaders: 5, 6, 7, 8: We are the Maverick girls! We wear our hair in curls! We wear our dungarees / Above our dirty knees! We wear no underwear! Check out our derriere! Whoo!

[moons the team]

Coach Chuck: You're funny.

Richard Martinez: [as Bianca] You should see me naked.

Coach Chuck: Really?

Richard Martinez: What's your name, sweetheart?

Keeley Carson: I'm Keely.

Richard Martinez: Keely? Well, I'm going to call you Bath Mat. Not because of that lovely vest you're wearing. It's because I think you smell like feet.

Richard Martinez: Creationism? I mean, but I'm a science teacher.

Coach Chuck: Don't be a sissy. Have a tit.

Richard Martinez: I think gender is really just a social construct, you know what I mean?

Richard Martinez: [as Bianca] Hey, James and the Giant Peach, keep it down.

Tommy: You can't call me that. My parents are lawyers.

Richard Martinez: Your parents are siblings. Now, shut up!

Deborah Ward: I understand you're new here, Miss Del Rio, but it is against school policy to feed the students.

Richard Martinez: [as Bianca] So THAT'S why you're here. You smell food.

Richard Martinez: [as Bianca] Because sex can ruin a beautiful friendship.

Coach Chuck: Not if you're real, real good at it.

Cowboy Willie: I find you, I'm gonna cut you open like a cow!

Richard Martinez: [voiceover] Scientists have warned residents to beware of storms with female names, as they are perceived to be less threatening but are significantly more likely to kill you.

Coach Chuck: I got punked. That was really fuckin' good.

[last lines]

Karma Johnstone: In the end, Hurricane Bianca was just the right kinda storm that this little town needed.

[wicked laugh heard from Richard/Bianca]

Principal Wayne: We need to keep the children safe from those that participate in alternative relationships. You know, man-on-man, man-on-dog. You understand.

Superintendent Howard: Without further ado, I'd like to announce the winner before anything else falls on us.