Karma Johnstone: It's a poncho, bitch.
Richard Martinez: I'm Richard.
Karma Johnstone: Karma. Karma Johnstone.
Richard Martinez: Your parents must be a good time.
Karma Johnstone: Why's that?
Richard Martinez: Well, most parents don't name their children after Buddhist principles.
Karma Johnstone: Would you prefer that I had a normal name, something plain, like Mary?
Cowboy Willie: Mary's not plain! Mary's angelic!
Karma Johnstone: I know plenty of Marys. None are angelic.
Cowboy Willie: Mary was the mother of Jesus!
Karma Johnstone: If someone were to ask me to bear the child of God, I'd have to say no.
Cowboy Willie: You'd abort the baby Jesus? Abortion is murder!
Cheerleaders: 5, 6, 7, 8: We are the Maverick girls! We wear our hair in curls! We wear our dungarees / Above our dirty knees! We wear no underwear! Check out our derriere! Whoo!
[moons the team]
Richard Martinez: Creationism? I mean, but I'm a science teacher.
Coach Chuck: Don't be a sissy. Have a tit.
Richard Martinez: I think gender is really just a social construct, you know what I mean?
Cowboy Willie: I find you, I'm gonna cut you open like a cow!
Richard Martinez: [voiceover] Scientists have warned residents to beware of storms with female names, as they are perceived to be less threatening but are significantly more likely to kill you.
Coach Chuck: I got punked. That was really fuckin' good.
Karma Johnstone: In the end, Hurricane Bianca was just the right kinda storm that this little town needed.
[wicked laugh heard from Richard/Bianca]
Principal Wayne: We need to keep the children safe from those that participate in alternative relationships. You know, man-on-man, man-on-dog. You understand.
Superintendent Howard: Without further ado, I'd like to announce the winner before anything else falls on us.