Written,directed and starring the beautiful Talulah Riley,Scottish Mussel is nice,fun,family movie for a night in,that doesn't deserve the vile vitriol spewed by the first reviewer who seems to have a deep grudge as his review is the one and only they have ever written. While not a 'laugh a minute' comedy there are plenty of laughs and a little romance that will satisfy any lover of romantic comedy and warm your heart,all done without violence or swearing,none of which this movie contains. The plot,although a little tired, is tried and true and the soundtrack with the likes of 'The Pretenders' and 'Paolo Nutini' is very appropriate and worthwhile listening to. The only thing that drove me nuts was the appallingly bad fake American accent by an English actor who played 'Ethan'(Morgan Watkins),I kept asking myself WHY?!!,right to the very end,I can't figure out why the character even existed,let alone why he had to be an American,or who told him he could do an American accent. Still, despite a few minor plot holes the movie is worth a watch,if only to see Talulah Riley looking fantastic in a bikini.
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ant36au2 January 2017
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omendata2 March 2019Cannot understand the 1/10 harsh review - 1 means its the worst film you have ever seen which this is not. Presumably its either because he/she was offended by the film being directed, written and acted by a woman who was married to Elon Musk and is giving it the "silver spoon" brush off or either offended at a Scottish movie with mostly English actors in it - who knows but the film is worth a watch with your partner as it is most definitely not just a womans movie as I quite enjoyed it and am a bit of an old romantic at heart myself.
Contrary to what that reviewer thinks I thought most of the acting was pretty good especially from Talulah Riley and Martin Compston. I thought they were great actually and perhaps I am biased because I am from Glasgow but i enjoyed the humour even though a lot of the actors were actually English.
C'mon its got Harry Enfield the legend in it and many other comedy magic actors including James Dreyfus from the Thin Blue Line; nice to see him back again and Spudgun from The Young Ones so presumably the high budget of 5 mill on this one is because it had such an interesting cast.
Its not going to win any oscars but it has some moments of comedy magic in that typical Glasgow way which only us Weegies can fully appreciate especially; the pearl shop seller with his pearl necklace gag - you knew it was coming but it was still hilarious!
Not a bad effort at all from Talulah Riley at all, its just a shame that people want to bash her because she is the ex of Elon Musk which is a shame as she certainly has acting talent that is for sure and for her first directorial debut it was not half bad! -
miriamuk-904176 April 2022Fell over this, channel hopping and just a wee chill pill. Some typical Glasgow humour, local musical choices, fire in some fabulous Scottish landscapes & photography plus a 'save the endangered and how you grow into it' and you have a nice wee feelgood movie.
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Absolutely terrible and actually painful to watch. Even as far as low budget B movies goes this is bad. Joe Thomas should never take a role where a Scottish accent is required again.
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gord_muir8 October 2017This is not high art, nor is it meant to be. Its a slightly corny, family movie with likable characters.
I enjoyed the interaction between the two leads and thought they were very compatible. The side kicks did what side kicks always do, provided comic relief and some goofiness.
The soundtrack is worth mentioning, great music throughout. I only wish there was a link to the players as I would like to buy some of this music. -
colinskitt10 November 2020Looking forward to this film but lacked anything felt the comedy was poor, story line made no sense
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TheLimey10 January 2017This is a light "feel good" romantic comedy that's fun to watch and warm-hearted. Plotwise it follows the boy meets girl, boy screws up, boy seeks redemption arc very effectively.
The pacing is perfect, and overall the acting is good with the notable exception of the odd American accent for boy's love rival. Why he has to be American is never really evident, although the character is pretty unbelievable to begin with, so being a foreigner may be the only reason? There are also a lot of characters and again it's not clear why that's necessary, but those are the only flaws. Harry Enfield is particularly well cast as the food truck owning mentor, and running mollusc jokes are well played.
This is not a movie with any serious pretensions and I really don't see why the first reviewer here has to spill so much bile over it. It's not going to win any Oscars and it isn't Serious Cinema (TM) -- did I mention it's fun and entertaining, in addition to being well made and edited? It's not awful, it's just a mostly well-executed light- hearted rom com. -
julicampey5 March 2022Scenery gorgeous, but the use of non-Scottish actors spoiled the film for me.
Martin Compston was his usual charming self, however the other members of the cast were very wooden.
Loved the Paolo Nuttini soundtrack. -
I felt compelled to write a review having just watched Scottish Mussel which I was not expecting too enjoy after reading "critics" reviews (all of whom just happen to be male) which makes me suspect this film might be more appreciated by women/girls. But this film is enjoyable, some scenes are excellent and overall it is well worth watching if you sit back relax and go along with the flow. The Scottishness is meant to be exaggerated and I thought it was funny.
I liked the character Fiona, the headmaster/Ms Pringles cameo and Beth and Ritchie were a believable couple. The hypnotherapy scene with the otter was funny. The film got better as it went along and it is definitely romantic and lightheartedly daft. The American character was very funny as was the dippy friend.
This is a nice, clean family film beautifully shot in Scotland. Well done Talulah. Please try again. I can't believe people have written such vicious reviews about your first acting/directing/writing role. And I have no connection with Talulah and hated that film 'St Trinians' she was in starring Russell Brand which seemed to have been written to appeal to dirty old men. If you like that I doubt you'll rate 'Scottish Mussel'. -
I just watched this for the 1st time. Over an hour of time that I'll never get back. Harry Enfield & Joe Thomas's attempt at a Scottish accent was as cringy and embarrassing as listening to a person in the next cubicle taking a sh**e. Talulah Riley, I mean if that's acting then the general public are all in the wrong job and should start attending auditions more often because if she can do it, anyone can. Big fan of Martin Compston but watching him in this was painful. Did no-one watch this back before releasing it? Horrifically bad.
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jenrodz678 September 2018Hesitant about watching since the rating was so low, but there are some great actors here, so decided to watch for 5 minutes to see if I could get into it. I was pleasantly surprised. Funny and sweet about an important subject. Give it a try!
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skankbitch4 April 2020A bit of an eco romcom set in the Scottish highlands, except the romance is minimal the eco is no more than a plot device. It's a fun movie though with enough laughs to eclipse the thin storyline. The cast are quite charming though, even Joe Thomas and his diabolical attempt at a Scottish accent - which isn't the worst by a long way. Unfortunately Talulah Riley's acting comes across as rigid and forced especially alongside the effortless Compston who breezes through the lightweight script. Some good comic turns from Thomas, Paul Branigan and the supporting cast.
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alan-m-hughes16 February 2020A poor script with unbelievable, but still stereotyped, characters. It is a vehicle to showcase the talents of the cast and it certainly does display the severe dearth of acting ability. At least there are no successful jokes to lighten the atmosphere
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geranium-3345010 March 2021I gave up on this film after about 15 minutes. I stayed with it that long to give it a chance. The final straw was the scene where a young conservation officer stripped to a skimpy bikini, in front of three men whom she did not know. How very unlikely. I realised that the target demographic for the film was pre pubescent boys and I switched off. Up until that point I had endured Harry Enfield's brave attempt at a Scottish accent, a machine gun being used by criminals in the Scottish countryside, a character with a tumescence beneath his clothing and some poor attempts at acting. I'm not sure why Martin Compston chose to appear in this, as it is hardly a boost for his career. I had been looking forward to a Scottish comedy and a few laughs, but I just felt that my intelligence had been insulted by this puerile film. Summary: Oh dear...
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imdb-515236 February 2020As a Scot, many of the non-native attempts at Scottish accents were challenging at first (for my money Russell Kane's was the best). Then I just tried to enjoy the film and not worry about how the casting came about as the non-Scottish cast are all enjoyable screen presences.
With that caveat, enjoying the film was easy. The accents improved as the movie progressed and the character dynamics were very sweet.
The location scout(s) did a great job and, as a Scot, the whole ceilidh idea was entirely believable. This is not the tab A into slot B stereotypical "shortbread tin" depiction of Scotland that some other reviews have suggested but if you're not from Scotland then I suspect you'll enjoy the film even more.
The soundtrack reads as a bit lazy but works great with the film and they've bagged some great tracks from some brilliant singer-songwriters.
Of course it would be nice to have more Scottish talent on screen but I'm glad that the movie exists as it is rather than not having been able to have been made at all.
Talulah Riley's direction is confident and never appears to be vain regarding the character she plays and I look forward to her joining a very long list of great female directors. -
colinrogers16 May 2021I wanted to enjoy this as my sisters drama club won some roles as extras, including both my nieces ( they are the school kids). It gets a star for their inclusion. The rest is a dreadful shambles and did not deserve to be included in that years Edinburgh Film Festival. It's a moribund cocktail of tired cliches that I believed Scotland as a nation was trying to drag itself away from. Then learn that a festival committee member has a small role, it becomes more understandable and corrupt.
Tallulah Riley wrote, directed and starred in this tale of an eco warrrior trying to save the beloved mussels and their pearls from poachers. Martin Compston (Line if Duty, Monarchnif the Glen) is a chancer who falls for her and changes his poaching ways along with his 'odd couple' mates. The rest of the story is Riley getting her kit off, and some lame storylines with very well respected Brit actors ( Rachel Stirling, James Dreyfus, Harry Enfield) in a totally random situation that has no bearing on the main plot.
Compston is a good wee actor as are those mentioned but cannot register with such a weak script and sub standard direction. Riley should concentrate on one of these things . I can only guess that this was green lit because she was Elon Musk's girlfriend at the time. Money speaks volumes . Needless to say this film is not a pearl. -
celtigra5 June 2022I recorded this a while ago and finally got round to viewing it. What a lovely film. Beautiful scenery, comedy, a gorgeous otter. Simply superb. I just love Scottish humour and it was one of those films that leave you feeling good after watching it.
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jak_internetcafe8 November 2021Sorry but Talulah just isn't an actress. Very wooden performance although this is the first film I have seen her in. Very contrived movie that drags along.
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backler-mands1 February 2022Watched this with my husband and we both really enjoyed the film. What's not to like? Beautiful Scottish scenery, a quirky plot and some laugh out loud moments - usually involving Fraser. It's not going to win any awards but it will leave you with a little smile on your face.
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tadted5 March 2022Feel-good comedy drama with a lot of well know faces, some of whom struggle with their Scottish accents and some who struggle with acting, like Talulah Riley and Joe Thomas. But a half decent watch if you're at a loose end.
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iphoneunlockgd9 July 2015A thoroughly enjoyable and humorous romp follows restless Ritchie and pals across the scenic Scottish Highlands, as they embark upon a redemption story to rival many of it's high-budget Summer counterparts.
Of course, no 'bad guy turns good' redemption story is complete without a competing love interest - and an American conservationist counterpart vies for Beth's attention throughout. Several other threads accompany the main narrative, including the ever popular 'good vs evil' double act between the criminal operations and the local police. Arguably the most appealing though is when we are watching the Otter gradually make it's way back to health - symbolic of nature's plight not being too late to save.
Conservationist Beth (played by the writer/director Riley to complete her triumphant triple act) helps ground the film in it's underlying message - and the ever-present threat to our world's natural beauty has never been highlighted more starkly than against the beautiful northern backdrop to this fun flick. -
jrarichards1 May 2020There's quite a long history of whimsical Scottish (and especially Glasgow-based) comedies attractive enough to have tempted me to give this one a try too. It's weakish, but more or less makes the grade, even though I'll never find organised crime (even small-scale) or cannabis-growing (even small-scale) funny.
So what we are (I was) left with is a trio of Scottish ne'erdowells always on the look out for making some beer-money illegally, and now tempted to try and earn by exploiting the already-endangered freshwater mussels that still inhabit certain Scottish rivers ... for their pearls of course . This is a true enough conservation story, and so enigmatic that it deserves a comedy to be made out of it. So in steps Talulah Riley as Director and star (appearing as "Beth" somebody who runs a conservation centre in the Highlands).
Now let's face it, if you're anything like me, you'll quite possibly think Riley is quite ludicrously attractive - albeit in a very specific way. As a matter of fact, I also like her voice and the way she delivers her lines. So frankly I was well in with this film, which - shall we say - does the best it can in this regard with the assets at its disposal.
While two of the small-time Glasgow crooks play well enough, but are nobody you've ever heard of, the third one is the familiar Martin Compston (of "Line of Duty" fame), who swots up (far from perfetly) on rare species in order to: a) flirt with the hot Beth, and b) find the locations of colonies of mussels for his friends to check out for pearls (and hence wealth).
If you think that's a really underhand combination of things to do, well, so does Beth when she finds out. So Compston as Ritchie has to do something REALLY big to make amends (even then surprising that Beth would go for that, but - hey - this is a dumb movie).
Anyway, this Ritchie does in fine style at the end of the film, which brings together and mobilises other eccentric characters we've seen at different points in the film, including Harry Enfield as Bill, whose main claim to fame is that he'll fry up pretty much anything at his mobile fish and chip place; as well as Ritchie's old headmaster in the shape of the ever-welcome James Dreyfus.
In the meanwhile we get a bit or romantic stuff, a factoid or two about how awful it is that species are heading for extinction (indeed so), an injured otter, eccentric and funnyish comedy on various themes, and the odd moment of pretty scenery. And of course the divine Talulah.
Perhaps it's enough if you've got a spare 90 minutes, and especially if you're going on to write a thesis about Scottish comedies (other examples of which are well - most likely even more - worth watching). -
whynotgoglobal9 December 2017Talulah Riley clearly wanted to send out a positive environmental message when she started out with this story, and she might have succeeded if she'd trusted a script editor or producer to knock things into shape. Specifically: Someone should have gone through the script scene by scene and put a red line through every detail and plot contrivance that was directly lifted from "Local Hero". Someone should have realised that setting up the female lead as a beautiful, angelic eco-warrior and then having her fall simperingly in love with a scruffy little chancer for absolutely no reason wasn't going to make sense. Someone should have spoken up for the idea of casting Scottish actors in Scottish parts. They would at least get the accents right. Someone should have been concerned that absolutely nothing that happens in this movie is any kind of surprise. It's difficult to lose yourself in a story when every scene signposts exactly where it's heading and the script and characterisations aren't engaging enough to make you care about how you get there.
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studioAT11 November 2021Talulah Riley is great as ever, but this film is a dud, coming across as a weird mix of rom-com, caper and drama all in one. Not to mention having an eco message.
A bit of a mess, but I hope Riley gets more opportunities to write/direct etc. -
oli_m_haynes29 April 2023Genuinely the writers, directors and producers should never be allowed to work again. I'd blame the terrible acting as well but weirdly 90% of the cast I know have done brilliant work before. I can only assume they wasted all the film's budget on the well known cast's fees. Felt like the whole thing was filmed with only one shot, taking the actors first read of the script as the final take. However to not let the actors entirely off it's also one of the worst array of accents I've ever heard. Especially Evan's which is the weirdest mix of rubbish my ears have ever had the misfortune of hearing. At least Joe just gave up most of the time.
The best I can say was a few jokes gave me a chuckle, most were just references to other much much better films but still, a chuckle or two makes it better than 1/10.