I normally don't write reviews, but whenever something really gets a bad reaction from me, I'm going to break my trend.
Anyways I checked out this movie after seeing it on the shelf of my library, and the images and summary on the DVD advertises this movie like some sort of horror comedy version of Home Alone, and well I was up for a story like that. I ended up getting something completely different.
By the 20 minute mark, the movie pulls off their big twist and guess what? There is no home invasion as advertise. It was the kid's (Luke) best friend (Garrett) pretending to be a home invader because he wanted to win over the heart of his babysitter (Ashley) by saving her from a fake home invasion he planned. Ashley figured out it was fake because Garrett stupidly wore a mask Luke owned. Anyway she rightfully decides to leave the house angry and not liking to be rejected, Luke slaps and knocks Ashley down a flight of stairs, knocking her out.
You know those young kids, specifically boys, who has a secret crush on a older girl but resents that she has a boy friend? Yeah that kid wrote a script and it became this movie. However this isn't the fantasy of a boy winning over his crushes heart against her boyfriends, this is a boy's warped, twisted, misogynist, perverse rape/murder fantasy.
Ashley wakes up taped and gag to a chair and she's like this throughout the bulk of the movie, so if you're a fan of the actress, this is the state she's going to be in for the rest of the movie. I would recommend you stop watching the movie after this point. I continue because I was sort of curious where this was going and thought maybe the film would take a more comedic turn. It didn't, there was no jokes and if anything it's actually more serious than the first 20 minutes. Luke is not a scary or interesting villain. He's just a annoying little shit who needs a good punch to the face before being thrown into a psyche ward.
The film wants you to think Luke is this clever mastermind as he mentions how he and Garrett has gotten into lighter trouble at school, but he always figure out a way out of it. No no, he's not a brilliant mastermind as he and Garrett constantly make mistakes that allowed the other characters to nearly stop them as you would expect from 12/13 yr old annoying villains. You remember those silly slasher films of the 80s and 90s that requires for the entire world to be full of stupid people and for the universe to align itself perfectly in order for no one to know there's a killer on the loose? This film takes that style of writing.
Luke's next step in his great plan is to text Ashley's boyfriend (Jeremy) to come over. Yes nothing dumb with this idea to invite someone who's bigger and stronger than you to come over, and could easily spot Ashley tied to a chair in the kitchen and quickly dial 911 on that phone he'll obviously have on him since you're sending him text messages through it. However since we're dealing with 80s style slasher writing, Jeremy looks in every room in Luke's house except the kitchen where Ashley is. There's not even anything to obstruct the view of the kitchen, they're just completely relying on Jeremy never looking in that direction. They blunder some more and Luke nearly gets taken out by Jeremy after failing to knock him out the first time. However they do eventually manage to tie him up too.
We then get our Home Alone reference when they bring Jeremy under the second floor balcony and Luke wants to test out what will happen when a full paint can is actually swung over a balcony into a person's head.
The character of Garrett is possibly one of the biggest raging idiots I've ever seen. The film portrays him like he's suppose to be the Milhouse to Luke's Bart. Now kids with low confidence are known to be easily manipulated by peers to do things like steal or vandalize, but this film takes this idea to the extreme. He also has Milhouse's wussiness as throughout the entire film, whenever Luke takes things to his next step, Garrett has that "this is a bad idea, we should stop this" reaction. He was already freaking out when Ashley found out the home invasion was fake, and again was freaking out when Luke knocked Ashley down a flight of stairs. When kids were pressured to do things they don't want to like vandalize and steal, only to get caught then other kids manage to knock out the person who caught them, they're reaction would be to normally run the hell away. Or in the case you actually know the person very well, try to help them and apologize. Yes it's established Ashley knows both Luke and Garrett very well as she has babysat them in the past. Not Garrett though. Even when Garrett finds out Luke lied about losing Garrett's pet hamster that he loved, that Luke actually killed the hamster and did it intentionally, even when Ashley in one of the times she can actually talk is telling Garrett Luke is no friend and is manipulating him, even when Luke fails his first attempt killing Jeremy with his Home Alone stunt (yes he fails to hit Jeremy's head the first time, so tries it again), even when Luke invites yet another one of Ashley's ex boyfriends after killing Jeremy, even when Luke is showing zero remorse or sympathy for his actions and is actually laughing and acting like he's having the greatest night of his life kidnapping Ashley and killing off her boyfriends, Garrett still continues to help this psychotic little shit carry on his plans. It's not until Luke kills the 2nd ex that Garrett begins to develop something resembling a brain and decides to try and help Ashley. However about halfway cutting her free, Luke blows away Garrett and his head with a shotgun. BTW no one hears multiple loud shotgun rounds going off in the middle of the night. Keep in mind, this isn't a secluded area or anything, it's suppose to be a typical populated neighbourhood.
There's also two other big scenes of stupidity I need to point out. Ashley manages to free herself after Luke fails his first Home Alone attempt, and gets a hold of their handgun that they left on the counter. We get the typical scene where the protagonist is telling the villain to stop or they'll shoot them. Scenes like this always make roll my eyes because I'm always screaming to shoot them in the leg if you don't want to be a killer, and the actual killers are no longer a threat, problem solved. Eventually it turns out the gun was unloaded and Ashley tosses it away instead of keeping it so they can't get it back then reload it. Eventually there's a small chase between Ashley and Garrett and somehow Luke manages to catch up to Ashley and knock her out with a brick. Let me emphasize how ridiculous this is. Luke's home only has two entry ways as far as we know: the front door and the back door. The front door has carolers there, so Luke obviously couldn't have used the front door otherwise the carolers would've seen him. The backyard where the back door is has a tall fence between 5 to 6 ft high that Garrett is too wimpy to even climb over while attempting to chase Ashley. Luke is about the same height and frame as Garrett, so he would've had just as much trouble getting over it on top of both having a massive head start over him. Yet Luke apparently manages to offscreen teleport (another silly 80s slasher trope) on the other side of the fence and knock Ashley out before she reached the carolers.
The final big scene of stupidity is Luke's great master plan to get away with it all. What does he do? He cleans up the house like nothing happened while leaving Garrett, Ashley, Jeremy, and Ricky (the other ex boyfriend) dead bodies exactly where they. He put some of the yellow paint from the can that killed Jeremy onto Ricky's hand, then shotgun in his hand and seems to be trying to frame Ricky for the murders. Many problems here. Ricky came into the back yard, and never even stepped foot into the home. Not exactly hard to figure out he was never inside seeing as there's snow on the floor, so his boot prints should visibly stopped where he died. None of his wet boot prints inside the house since it was all cleaned. No yellow paint hand prints anywhere in the home since Luke put yellow paint on his hand. Oh and Ricky is dead with I'm sure a rope mark around his neck since Luke killed him via hanging. Luke also cuts him down and leaves his body on the ground so it doesn't even look like a murder suicide ordeal. I'm willing to bet Luke locked the backdoor too going off his cleanup montage, also adding no signs of forced entry on top of the laundry list to prove Ricky wasn't even inside the house let alone the killer. Then Luke's great master plan ends by literally putting on his pajamas, go to his bedroom and act like he slept through the whole ordeal and this moronic plan actually works! Are you fucking kidding me? There are four dead bodies, one alive who also happens to live in the house the killings took place, directly knows two of the victims, the place is mysteriously clean and he's acting like he slept through the whole thing and knows nothing? Apparently no one even has half a functioning braincell to be suspecting this person?
Actually there's one more stupid big scene that's suppose to act like dual surprise endings here. We find out Ashley is still alive and we see her giving Luke the middle finger as he's watching her being wheeled into the ambulance from the his bedroom window. After the first set of end credits, we cut back to Luke telling his mom they should visit Ashley in the hospital implying he's either going to successful kill her or more stupidity is going to continue on in the hospital as Ashley tries to get away from Luke.
I just felt sick and very dirty after finishing this movie. The two guys who wrote and directed this movie (the director is also credit as a writer too) must be two misogynist guys who had one too many women dump them for better people, and this film is their revenge fantasy come to life.
