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  • Scared Topless (2015)

    ** 1/2 (out of 4)

    A group of college students agree to go to a haunted mansion with their professor as well as a psychic (Candy Lucas) in order to see if the ghost of a former actress (Jasmine Leo) is really there.

    Before watching this film from Jim Wynorski, I had watched another one of his movies on Amazon called LEGEND OF THE NAKED GHOST. As soon as I turned this film on I realize that LEGEND OF THE NAKED GHOST was actually a shortened version of this. That film, appearing on Amazon, clocks in at less than forty-minutes and it's basically missing all of the simulated sex scenes that you can find uncut in this the original version. I'm guessing LEGEND OF THE NAKED GHOST was produced because Amazon didn't want any too naughty.

    As far as the film goes, if you're into the sexploitation films that Wynorski makes then there's no question that you're going to enjoy this one. Obviously there's nothing here that is Oscar-worthy but at the same time the film wasn't going for that. This is the type of movie that you watch on places like Showtime at three in the morning and if you don't take it too serious then there's some fun to be had.

    As you'd expect, the cast is full of beautiful, big-breasted women just like the director enjoys. Cindy Lucas and Bridgette B. are both very fun in their roles and there's no doubt that all of the nudity is what makes this thing so entertaining. I also really liked Leo in her role of the dead actress but it doesn't seem she continued in the business as her credits pretty much dried up. The entire cast is good enough for this type of film and they are clearly in on the joke of the film.

    SCARED TOPLESS isn't a masterpiece but it's good enough for what it is. Which version you watch will be up to you but if you want all of the sex scenes then it's best to go with this one.
  • This film is an odd duck. I wanted a giggle or two. I put this film on and was surprised to find it was a soft porn film.

    There were some laughs to be had. The acting was about as good as I have ever seen in an adult film The music was genius - any track with the lyric "hump me - squeeze my boobies" is pretty special.

    The Story deals with a group of students who visit a haunted house and have lots of fairly tame and 4th wall breaking bored sex.

    Lets talk about these students. I know Students have a reputation for being poor, but these guys can barely afford clothes. They seem to have been struggling to pass their course though because some of them are in their late 30s poor things.

    I don't have a lot of experience with this genre of films but the performers did an amazing job of not exposing even a wrinkle of genital. Honestly, it was amazing. Perhaps a nod of recognition to the director of photography, the director and the editor might be appropriate but I suspect they are one and the same person.

    compliments are also due to whoever does the performers skincare products because they are all perfect and flawless.
  • Investigating a supposedly haunted house, a team of researchers encounter the spirit of a lovelorn ghost awaiting her long-lost lover and find themselves drawn into a situation with the supernatural they were unprepared for and try to help the spirit find eternal peace.

    For a softcore skin flick, this one was really enjoyable. Like most of these parody efforts, there's a really nice, solid horror effort at the center of the film, where the idea of a ghost living in a creepy, abandoned house that comes out into the open when a group of paranormal researchers conduct a class there, and there's plenty of good times here in the creepy location. There's a really nice vibe throughout the house with the old-school glamour look and feel of the house which is given a really healthy atmosphere so when the hauntings do start they feel quite logical and part of the story as the possession angle and the antics around the house that signify a haunting there all makes for a solid enough base here of being a horror film before it actively turns into the softcore film it really is. This is the main part of the story here and where this one gets quite a lot right here, bolstered by the fact that the female cast here is incredibly attractive which comes through in numerous way to benefit this one not only by providing a steady stream of gorgeous, fully nude women that comes ready-made with roles that aren't much of a benefactor in the plot and only show up to provide another nude body to writhe around with the original cast. The diversity of the cast in terms of physical appearance and body-type also works rather nicely by letting so many different styles and figures to be showcased here in frequent interactions to really let that sink in here, and because there's an absolutely insane amount of multi-participant encounters here it really allows for even greater amounts of fun here with the extra benefit of seeing more rather than just the single woman. Going with a lot of threesomes or even the three-way lesbian encounters in the shower and the huge group fondling session at the end where nearly every female cast member begins playing with each other in an extended montage which all allows this one to give each girl a chance to shine throughout the steamy sequence. These factors here give this one quite a lot to like here even through there's a few minor flaws here. The biggest issue to this one is the fact that there's some utterly clumsy methods here to keep this one still going forward with its plot, as the fact that the guys have to keep trying to force the issue here in the way they keep throwing it back to trying to investigate the ghost and the house, as this one seems more about the sexual antics here in the second half and ignoring the decent story here which is then brought up in truly lame methods. As well, a lot of this is reflected in the other flaw here in the confusing nature for the possession to occur here. The idea is introduced quite late in to the film, doesn't get much play as no one really makes anything about it and doing this doesn't accomplish anything since other forces are utilized to accomplish what it seems set-up to accomplish so it doesn't make any sense anyway. These here are the flaws here though there' still plenty to enjoy here.

    Rated Unrated/X: Continuous Full Nudity, Continuous softcore Sex Scenes, Language and Violence.
  • This film is a blast! Just sit back and let it unfold, and you'll be transported back to a time when you were a young idiot, searching for something different - something silly, supernatural, and sexy! For all it's 'winks' and self-realization, there is an interesting story here - for real. I actually appreciate the plot, pacing and title. Reminds one of classic B-grade horror/comedy/musical films from yesteryear; 'Scared to Death' (1947) and 'Scared Stiff' (1953) which should be the name of the sequel to 'Scared Topless' if you think about it. Anyway, if you're reading this, trust me! It's a lot of fun! Have a laugh, perfect for Halloweenie!
  • Jim Wynorski's spoof lacks the freshness of his other horror movie parodies like House on Hooter Hill or Bare Wench Project. It has the flavor of "one more picture needed for my contract, so let's fill up the time with nasty sex scenes." Music covers the sound too often. The opening scene would have been much better if it didn't change to a film the characters were watching until it was ending. In fact in 20 percent of this the characters watch a movie or TV show of someone else. Jacqui Holland always seems to look away toward the camera or a corner of the room to show off her face, it's less exciting this time and more of a distraction.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    A group of adult films stars pretending to be college students go to a haunted house to contact an erotic spirit. The plot is immaterial to the film which consists of long soft core sex scenes interrupted by a little bit of plot to set up the next scene. Far from horror or anything else. A Jim Wynorski film shown on The Movie Channel. The girl on the front cover, Bridgette B. is in the film.

    F-word in music. Sex and FF nudity (Bridgette B., Danica Dillion, Jacqui Holland, Jasmine Leo, Cindy Lucas, ) 6 stars for the nudity
  • Pugsy210011 October 2019
    Awesome movie with a good director and the actors were very helpful to attract people who were watching it to want to watch the film from beginning till end. Every scene was very watchable from beginning till end. The end of each scenes the actors would look at the camera, making you think you could act with them.
  • supnietzsche21 November 2019
    The title made a pretty false claim. Not one person in this film was topless from fear. In the end, I still have my shirt on and I'm very disappointed. However, there is a twist at the end worth sticking around for. 1 star for that and the other 2 for the soundtrack. Howard Blueberry, please name your films more aptly in the future.
  • Jim Wynorski used to be famous for making softcore porn and fun T&A adventures back in the 80's and 90's. I dont know if he lost his talent, or just stopped caring, but this movie is awful. Its basically an edited down porno. Theres no real plot and the acting is not funny-bad like in proper softcore pornos. The women here are all regular porn stars and they dont know how to do anything except lay on a bed and fake pleasure. Its a waste of time even if you normally like this sort of thing.

    If you're really bored and need entertaining, watch a regular porn movie and then go find one of Wynorskis better films from the mid-90's.
  • sjodinmilton13 December 2017
    This is my first review but i had to write one in hopes people stay away from this garbage. This movie is awful. I expected a cheesy horror comedy, but instead it's basically a porno with horror elements, and some plot just because why not.