"Master of None" Mornings (TV Episode 2015) Poster

(TV Series)

(2015)

Noël Wells: Rachel

Photos 

Quotes 

  • [last lines] 

    Dev : Can you tell me a story?

    Rachel : Mm, Once upon a time, there was a little boo named Dev, and he couldn't sleep, and he kept the lovely Princess Rachel awake, and she went crazy, and she beat his bumps.

    Dev : Hey. That story doesn't have a good ending. It's too sad.

    Rachel : You tell *me* a story.

    Dev : Okay. Um once upon a time, there was this little boo named Dev, and one day, he met this beautiful princess named Rachel. And she had the nicest bumps ever, and she was really cool and funny. And she was standing at this jukebox, and little Dev went over and said, "Hey, were you playing the Buzzcocks?" And she was like, "Oh, yeah, that was me," and he was like, "Oh, I love the Buzzcocks." And they started talking and dancing, and eventually, they went home together, and Charlemagne met Beatrice.

    Rachel : But that night Charlemagne was so powerful, he broke through his protective shield, and they had to go get the magic potion called a Plan B pill, and it was kind of weird. And they thought they were never gonna see each other ever again. But then they ran into each other at a concert, and they were drinking and dancing and having fun, and then Dev was like, "Ooh, I'm gonna kiss her." But Princess Rachel was dating some evil prince that lived in some kingdom called Seattle, so she couldn't do it.

    Dev : But then one day, they took a trip to Nashville together, and they had so much fun. It was the greatest trip ever. And eventually, they moved into the same castle together. And every now and then, they fought about silly stuff, and sometimes they fought about more serious stuff. But in the end, they figured it out because they love each other very much and they really love the kingdom they built together. The end.

    Rachel : Did they live happily ever after?

    Dev : I don't know about ever after, but they're pretty happy now.

  • [first lines] 

    Dev : [still in bed]  Hey.

    Rachel : [getting dressed]  Hey.

    Dev : Can you keep it down? Some people are trying to sleep.

    Rachel : [in a whisper]  Sorry. I have to go to work.

    Dev : Why do you have to go to work so early? Can't you quit and just start working at Boning Industries?

    Rachel : What's Boning Industries?

    Dev : It's a company I started where we just bone all day.

    Rachel : Ooh.

  • Rachel : What would your penis be called?

    Dev : Um, Charlemagne.

    Rachel : Wait, Charlemagne?

    Dev : Yeah, he's dignified.

    Rachel : Okay, I see that.

    Dev : What's her name?

    Rachel : Beatrice.

    Dev : Beatrice and Charlemagne? All right, I like that.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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