Cartels (2016) User Reviews (34)

One of the better editions in the Fat Steven Seagal Library.

[subxerogravity · 4/10 · 9 July 2017]

Once more big old Seagal makes more of a cameo appearance in this movie as---well, does it really matter who he played? It's basically Steven Seagal. He does not have that much range to him.

Anyway, he's interrogating Luke Goss who plays an army man on a special ops team, that screwed up their mission. I always felt that Luke Goss was somewhat of a poor man's Jason Statham, but I only think that way cause he took over the Rebooted Death Race Franchise. In this movie he tells Seagal the mission in flash backs that remind me of Die Hard as the whole thing takes place in a Hotel in Romania where the bad guys take over and Goss has to sneak around them to complete his mission, which is grading the head of a Cartel from people who want to kill him after he flipped on them.

The strange thing is, despite Luke Goss' character being set up as the main protagonist, it's not his name that comes 1st in the credits (Or rather second after the extreme cameo Seagal). It's some guy named Georges St-Pierre. He does not look familiar, but I'm guessing he's a MMA fighter. My guess is based on the fact that he has that cauliflower ear thing that Randy Couture has. Wonder if you get that ear and they force you to retire and become an actor? I hope not, and I hope he's a better MMA fighter than he is an action hero.

Speaking of action, that's the real reason we go see a movie Seagal's big head would be the center of on a poster right? Well the action is mediocre. Cartels is more of a crime mystery movie as the players try to figure out a tangle web of people double crossing each other. This leaves the filmmakers trying to make something that looks suspenseful but does not have that much action to it. But unlike a lot of movies I've seen recently were Seagal is given a fat check so we can watch his fat ass sit around for ten minutes trying to sound cool, he actually does get up and puts down a few moves, like the fight he has with Georges St-Pierre, which becomes one of the rare moments when someone is able to put Seagal on the floor (or rather the stuntman, in fact I would not be surprise if Seagal did not even know that his character showed a moment of weakness until the film came out). Plus,there was this really neat action sequence that had a lot of gun play inter-cut with a lot of fight scenes in which the good guys had one on one battles with the bad guys.

It's not the best movie (far from it) but I still get a kick from watching Seagal slur thorough lines wishing he was Brando and repeating the same moves over and over again that he's been doing since he gain the pot belly, but I would skip it unless you're that big a fan of Seagal (or just like making fun of him)

http://cinemagardens.com

Luke Goss Is The Best Actor Here

[slightlymad22 · 4/10 · 29 November 2019]

I just watched Killing Salazar (Cartels)

The long fall from grace for Seagal continues. Since 2003, he has appeared in almost 30 STV movies. That's two dozen more than the 10 pictures from 1988-2002 that were box office hits. In the last decade, things have grown worse for what is left of his fan base, as he is now a supporting player (some times not even that) in his own movies. That's the case, once again, in this tripe, but it was strangely enjoyable tripe. I can't quite put my finger on why I found it semi enjoyable, I think it was because of Luke Goss, he was the best actor in it and i enjoyed his performance.

It looked like it had the biggest budget for a movie featuring Seagal for a long time, but for me Seagal was the weak point of the movie, he is a constant distraction every time he comes on screen with his bloated face and jet black hair and goatee. There were times he didn't even look like he was putting the effort in to realistically hold and fire a gun, let alone hit anything.

A modicum of mystery grips this predictable actioner

[shakercoola · 4/10 · 27 September 2018]

An American action thriller; A story about a U. S. Marshal and his team who are flown to Romania with orders to guard a billionaire Russian drug kingpin called Salazar who has turned informer. An American agent will stop at nothing to root out the mole who compromised his operation. Keoni Waxman directs this explosive thriller and handles the action sequences with reasonable proficiency. Waxman has become the go-to man for Seagal who has improved the quality of his films in recent years. However, Seagal gives a mostly subdued supporting performance and cuts a tired figure at times. All in all, a passable action film but the script is marred by its over-use of profanities.

OMFG, it's him, again...

[LeParas-1 · 1/10 · 25 August 2016]

... while others in this age are already in a nursing home of their choice or enjoying some beers in their local dive bar, another great Sensei Seagull documentary is on the way. We are truly blessed. /cynism OK, guys and girls, nothing to see here, move on. It's just another lame direct to DVD movie of an former actor who recently is just moving from chair to chair. If you want to see something good and really interesting stare at a wall and watch some paint dry. Simple as that! This movie is so bad it's not even worth watching it for free! You have been warned! Don't do it! Just don't! You know how hard it is top write a review consisting of ten lines of text, when you can say everything of this movie in one word? Guess the word, it starts with "S" and ends with "hit". Enough said.

What More Can Be Said At This Point?

[larrys3 · 2/10 · 19 September 2017]

What more can be said at this point? Steven Seagal, appearing slow as a sloth in the action scenes he's in, is cast in another hackneyed mess of a movie. Here he portrays a top DEA agent trying to get to the bottom of a botched U.S. Marshal protection plan for an Eastern European drug cartel boss, who was supposed to be transported to America, from Romania, to testify against his crime family.

As you might expect lots and lots of bloody carnage either with guns or martial arts sequences. The movie is very drawn out, as well, and by the time it ended I had zero interest in how it all turned out.

Killer waste

[TheLittleSongbird · 1/10 · 3 July 2018]

Steven Seagal has done some good, or at least watchable, films. Particularly 'Under Siege'. He has also done a lot of mediocre and less films, indicative of laziness and that Seagal was well past his sell by date, and a good deal of them are even very bad.

'Killing Salazar' is one of the very bad ones, with exactly the same time as 'Contract to Kill' except not quite as bad. Awful even, and for me if ranking Seagal's filmography from best to worst it would be towards the bottom. Did not expect much, but watched it because Seagal has shown signs that he can be halfway decent and as said not all his films are bad. Also do appreciate the action genre and there are good films out there in the genre, classics even. 'Killing Salazar' is far from that, more closer to a waste of time that shows little signs of trying.

Seagal himself, in a role that is not a lead but more an extended cameo, gives another lazy and wooden performance that shows that he was not interested and wanted to be somewhere else. His reading-from-an-autocue-like and robotic line delivery in particular betrays that. The rest of the cast are just as poor though in all fairness have little to work with and over-compensate.

The characters are ones we know very little about and don't care what happens to happen, so unengaging and one-dimensional they are. The dialogue is risible, with a lot of cheesiness, awkwardness and far too much talk delivered with little emotion or momentum and bordering on the near-incomprehensible.

Its excessively talky nature affects severely the pacing, which never comes to life. There is no urgency, let alone tension, intrigue or suspense. The action doesn't feature enough in comparison and suffer from pedestrian choreography and laughably bad editing. The story is by-the-numbers, dull and not always easy to follow.

Direction is flat and ill-at ease, while the sound/soundtrack are one-note and obvious as well as poorly recorded and the whole film looks cheap. And it's not just the editing, the slapdash effects and drab photography.

Overall, a mess in every single way. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Killing Time

[BklynBryanCM · 3/10 · 8 March 2017]

"Killing Salazar" was the first of 7 (yes 7) movies released by Steven Seagal in 2016. It is quality not quantity Steven!! KS was a glorified Seagal cameo (he's not the main character). "Killing Salazar" has very minimal Seagal action/ screen time. He was in the very beginning and at the very end doing "Action" (shooting guns).

For the rest of the movie, Seagal sat down and interviewed/ interrogated Luke Goss' character. Skip KS - nothing to see here. Little to no action and all talk in this "action" movie. Luke Goss did some decent action scenes, but we wanted Seagal fight scenes!!

Not much of a story/ plot here. The only good Seagal of 2016 was "End of a Gun". Kill Sal was the worst of Seagal 2016. It was worse than "Sniper: Special Ops" and "The Perfect Weapon". Salazar was not as decent as "Code of Honor" or "Asian Connection". The jury is still out on "Contract to Kill".

Bad, even by Seagal's standards

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 10 December 2017]

KILLING SALAZAR is yet another Steven Seagal flick shot in Romania by director Keoni Waxman. Seagal seems like a supporting actor in his own movie here, barely appearing other than to show up and kick a few bad guys to the ground in some infiltration scenes. The story is set in and around a hotel occupied by a drug lord who has been targeted for assassination. Luke Goss plays a rival and is the best thing in the movie although way too many of his scenes are set in the interrogation room. The dialogue is particularly stupid, full of swear words without much sense, and the action poorly shot. This is undoubtedly one of the worst of the modern Seagal flicks, with nobody making much of an effort at all.

Ugh!

[dgray79 · 1/10 · 12 April 2020]

Couldn't make it thru this dreck. No real story to this just poor script and some okayish action and a couple overly pretty army ladies.

why is luke goss in this film

[FilmMan47 · 1/10 · 27 May 2019]

I am a luke goss fan and its sad to see this guy in this film with steven seagal who cannot act and all and is overrated and makes trash films..his 90s films were good but the guy is a joke now,luke goss should have make big in hollywood hellby 2 was great .luke goss should change his agent and avoid direct to dvd films.this movie is bad,skipp it.

Have no idea where to start

[doppelganger-49573 · 22 February 2018]

Bad bad bad ridiculous over acted just pathetic Don't really know how I watched more than 10 min as per someone mentioned in another review. Well bye bye

Cartels

[btreakle · 8/10 · 9 June 2020]

I thought this an underrated film with Steven Segal. It had a great story about Salazar and plenty of gun play. All in all a great movie that deserves the 8 star rating on the merits.

I was not born on a turnip truck

[nogodnomasters · 6/10 · 14 January 2018]

Steven Seagal returns to the screen, after being gone for weeks, as DEA officer Harrison interrogating Maj. Tom Jensen (Luke Goss) about an operation that has gone bad. In the opening scene Harrison kills Salazar (Florin Piersic Jr.) no wait...I'm not dead yet...it was a ruse. Salazar is moved to a hotel in Romania and Jensen is part of a special forces team that guards him, because he is going to confess so they can take down...umm okay he is the top dog...plot point that didn't sit well. Well his deputy Bruno (Georges St-Pierre) ...I don't make this stuff up...knows Salazar is not dead and wants him dead.

There is a big fight with plenty of martial arts stuff, shooting, cat fight, and a lumbering Seagal. Luke Goss was needed for some more star power. They also had some Canadian martial artists in the film creating some realistic fights. The film does have a twist (not written by Steven). In flashbacks, Luke Goss tells us what happened and like most motion picture flashbacks, he even remembers all the stuff that happened when he wasn't there. C'mon guys. Pretend your viewers have an IQ higher than a turnip.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

I've seen feces that were more intelligent than this.

[Maximiliaan · 1/10 · 15 December 2019]

There is absolutely no reason of existence for a film like this. I mean yes I had a good laugh and all that, but there is literally no reason ever to watch this movie-shaped piece of crap. Remember Jeff Goldblum when he took of his glasses to watch that mountain of poop in Jurassic Park? Well, keep on your glasses.

Singularly bad

[marold-80453 · 1/10 · 26 October 2021]

Cartels was worthless from the beginning to the end. It is, by far, the worst film I have ever seen in my 81 years of life. How could this garbage have been released is beyond belief.

cheesy!

[concerned-30507 · 1/10 · 19 September 2017]

Honestly can not watch for more than first 10 minutes, cheesy cheesy crap movie. Oh and of course slut make it even cheesier!! Suck ass movie don't waste your time with this crap! a rating of 3 on IMDb is too generous. by the way did i mention cheesy! s s needs to retire and stay retired.

Step. Away. From. the Film.

[Gorgo33 · 2/10 · 8 December 2017]

I gave it a 2, 1 was just too easy, and 0 couldn't be done.

This movie was so bad, I kept drifting off thinking about important things like whether to give my cat Friskies meaty bits or shreds and I missed how this horrible mess ended up. So I did not rewind to find out.

Too bad to see Seagal dragging his lard arse around and making those squinty-eye faces and talking tough (and slow). Heavy strained breathing from all that tripe he shovels in his gut, which makes his belly compress his lungs so he sort of heaves out his dialog and sounds like he is about to power vomit.

I like Luke Goss and I hate to see him involved in this "thing" but a man has to make a living I suppose. We all like you, Luke. Better choices next time.

Killing time

[Prismark10 · 2/10 · 10 November 2017]

Porky Steven Seagal plays some ace special ops interrogator of Major Jensen (Luke Goss) after a mission goes wrong. Their target Salazar, a notorious drug lord has escaped as he was due to be the main witness in a trial against various cartels. The hotel they were holed up in came under attack by a hit squad after Salazar.

The story is told in flashbacks as the Major is the only person to get out alive and Seagal wants to be sure that the Major tells him everything and is clean.

This is a derivative straight to video action thriller with a not a lot of action. Just a lot of sitting down and talking to Seagal, there are some really bad lines from Seagal. There is some decent action from Georges St-Pierre who plays the henchman. However this is a boring and bad film.

Better than most recent Seagal films-worth the time

[redbaron-86192 · 5/10 · 24 October 2021]

I was pleasantly surprised by this film. It works, because we only have to watch a 30-second Seagal fight scene once, out of the whole film! Luke Goss is far more than competent and there's a nice twist at the end. Entirely watchable. Say what you want about Seagal, the man has a direct to DVD formula and sticks with what he knows. Either you like him or you don't. The over the top arrogance and unbeatable confidence is what you want out of your action heroes, so enjoy it for what it is and understand it's no Oscar winner. It has it's place. And for all those folks that ridicule Seagal's weight, age, fighting style - 99% of them would not want to fight him unarmed. Just relax and enjoy the action.

Sensei seagal please retire

[brett-76260 · 1/10 · 7 July 2019]

Sensei seagal why are you still making crap movies? Please just stop... I mean really this is embarrassing for crying out loud. And GSP why are you in this turd of a movie??? If you are going to be in movies here's a suggestion... don't make a movie with sensei seagal, John Claude van damm or Ivan drago... they all suck!!!

Just sad that Steven Seagal has sunk so low

[mailservertestlab · 1/10 · 23 August 2022]

Just throw away 2 hours of your life, try not to think, remember, analyze, have any anticipation.....then maybe you will just disappointed and not angry that you didn't spend the time on a good movie or even putting your dog in a good bath or clipping your thoonails. Sad that Seagal sunk so low!!!

You know what to expect !

[destroyerwod · 6/10 · 12 August 2018]

At this point, you should already know what to expect from a modern Steven Seagal movie. The guy is aging as we all do and he has become on the "plus size" so obviously he ain't as mobile as he was before. Truth be i think Seagal himself understand it now cause more and more despite top billing and cover, he has more of a secondary roles in movies, letting a younger more in shape actor play the main. So as i said you should know what to expect by now so if you choose to watch the movie anyway, why complaining its yet another typical Seagal movie?

I personally enjoy those. They are cheesy, they are of minimal quality direct to dvd but usually they entertain me and i have a fun time. Cartels aka Killing Salazar was nothing different. The presence of GSP and Luke Goss added some pretty cool Martial Arts/Action scenes and the plot was interesting enough to keep me interested.

Obviously this ain't no Mission Impossible movie or something like that. If you accept it and see it for what it is, then its a decent saturday night pop corn movie.

Yeah, not really worth the effort...

[paul_haakonsen · 3/10 · 30 August 2022]

Granted, as I sat down to watch the 2016 crime action thriller "Cartels" (aka "Killing Salazar"), I wasn't harboring a single expectation from writers Keoni Waxman and Richard Beattie. Why? Well, simply because Steven Seagal's movies haven't exactly been top notch for many years.

Yet, I opted to watch "Cartels", on the account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen. And who knew, maybe, just maybe I would be surprised by what director Keoni Waxman delivered.

However, I must say that "Cartels" was a bland movie, a very, very bland and forgettable movie. The script and storyline here was generic to the point where you could essentially leave the movie for an extended period and come back only to not have missed out on anything. And while I did manage to endure "Cartels" to the end, then I wasn't particularly entertained.

Not only was the script and storyline flaccid, but the character gallery was equally so. I honestly didn't care one bit about any of the characters on the screen, as the all had the same, dull and lifeless personality and no backstory. In fact, I can't even remember the names of the characters, aside from Luke Goss's character, as Jensen is a Danish surname.

The action sequences in the movie were adequate, and it was those that actually kept the movie afloat and make is semi-watchable.

As for the acting performances in "Cartels", well... You know what you get with Steven Seagal, so no point venturing there. Luke Goss was in the movie, and was adequate enough. However, I had no idead who Georges St-Pierre is. It was clear, though, that the actors and actresses were struggling with the fact that the script was mundane, bland and devoid of anything thrilling.

I suppose "Cartels" is a movie that die-hard fans of Steven Seagal or Luke Goss might get a kick out of watching. For a casual viewer, such as myself, then "Cartels" was not a noteworthy movie. And while I did endure the movie to the end, I can honestly say that this is not a movie that I will return to watch a second time. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for action fans.

My rating of "Cartels" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

bad movie

[leninrocco · 4/10 · 26 April 2019]

Steven in a bad role. The movie is a z-movie of the last quality. Movie inutile.

another bland one

[talllwoood13 · 4/10 · 19 March 2021]

The main character in this ruins it with how boring he is. This story had a lot of potential but we get this Johnny Sins tooth pick looking soldier who you couldn't care less about which just like the movie before it Steven Seagal was in called "The perfect weapon (2006)" I think it was the main character of this that made the story boring where I couldn't wait for it to finish. Though the ending has a nice twist and the possibility of a sequel it's just dull.

There are some pretty good fight scenes, the bad guy is established pretty well but if you don't care for the main character of a story why even bother. Would I watch this again? no but I've seen worst movies with budgets 2x (minimum) higher.