19 September 2017 | lor_
Okay porn hodge-podge
Digital Playground slaps together random website content in this ill- begotten series of DVDs, apparently released as a sop to what's left (myself included) of the Old School Adult Cinema fan addicted to previous modes of distribution. I liked some of the material, enough to give an overall favorable rating.
Best vignette, as usual, belongs to the British wing of the new DP, Dick Bush's KaizenXXX production outfit. He delivers another of his ongoing series of "girls with guns" action movies titled "Blowback", concerning earnest Brit cops led by Danny D and fellow Adult filmmaker Liselle Bailey (in a NonSex character role) going after a trio of robbers led by glorious Franceska Jaimes, the anal specialist in Bush's troupe.
The shootouts are well-staged, and the action footage briefly invigorating before the inevitable spurts of humping begin. Brit Porn's modern equivalent to the sexy "Carry On" girl Barbara Windsor 50-plus years earlier: Brooklyn Blue, gets to sample Danny's big dick when the gals get him in bondage, hood over his head so he can't identify them. The third girl of the gang is an attractive brunette who has a prominent role but no XXX doings, hence gets no credit on screen, a practice I abhor. Jaimes follows up with her expected anal action via Danny, glad to oblige. The woman's fetish gas masks are peculiarly styled to resemble the old makeup effects head used in that classic Vincent Price feature I loved as a kid "The Fly".
The other segments include some porn-parody, a staple of much of DP's current product line. "50 Ways to F*ck" is an abysmal cash-in on the popular books (and now movies) in which Brazzers star Keiran Lee is the mean taskmaster in black, humping forcibly slender-to-the-point-of- anorexia Janice Griffith, carrying so much makeup and extra eyelashes to be more a turn-off than turn-on to the viewer. Lee's mammoth cock, just a shade shorter than Danny's, is thrust down her throat seemingly hundreds of times in this somewhat distasteful scene passed off as Romantic.
Just as off the mark is the Kubrick ripoff "Pussy Wide Open" in which the popular Abigail Mac removes her ritual mask and gets humped on altar by Keiran, typecast as the evil Dominant Man. Dozens of extras, including about 10 more nude women, get no credit here.
Lee seems to be the only able-bodied man in Chatsworth, as he returns one more time in "Honeymoon", a pointless exercise in which he services a post-Wicked Pictures star Kirsten Price, now mellowing with a look intentionally reminiscent of porn's #1 MILF Kendra Lust. This dumb scene doesn't even have the pair wearing wedding rings -it's strictly all-sex with no story or point.
Finale spotlights a great pair of knockers belonging to Kayla Kayden, destined for many more appearances in compilations from DP's sister label Brazzers. She's humped by some unknown fellow out by the pool in "Got Milk?", its titled stupidly derived from the big galute pouring milk all over her breasts before servicing her.