Lady Lessons (2015)

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1 March 2017 | lor_
Mean-spirited lesbian escapades
With their newish boy/girl label "Pretty Dirty", the team of Stills & Mills has evidenced a mean streak, which the lesbian-porn specialists pass off as black humor. It also infects their Lesbian empire in "Lady Lessons", marking another specialty series that has to do with cougars with bad intentions preying on jail-bait.

I didn't buy the premise, largely due to poor casting and the team's usual absence of a real screenplay. Three foxes are posited as being let loose in the hen house that is Chatsworth, California, competing and comparing notes on how many (and how succulent) the young birds they can seduce and hump, even trading off victims among them. I have made this sound rather nasty, but Stills and Mills plus their cameraman Craven Moorehead (who gets a dumb credit "a fantasy by Stills by Alan and Craven Moorehead instead of a ticket to the DGA) try to make it cute and light.

Ageless Charlotte Stokely (now on the wrong side of "Don't trust anyone over 30) is certainly ripe enough for the bad-girl role, even styled to look even older in a couple of scenes oddly glamorously dressed to the nines, but Lola Foxx as the main Player (that's what her character is called) is ludicrously miscast. She verbally relates how she prefers "younger women" but one would have to cast Piper Perri or some girl even closer to infancy to qualify, as Foxx looks to be about 15 or 16, regardless of what her birth certificate says for the porno watchdogs to check up on. (For the record, she was 23 at time of shooting, admittedly a ripe old age in the porno racket but she sure doesn't look it).

Similarly, Abby Cross is the third member of the evil triumvirate and at 22 mainly cast as a teen, since both she and Foxx would be classified in the Industry as "petites".

If one swallows this difficult credibility hurdle, then you're primed to watch the gals hump Adriana Chechik (minus her usual squirting antics for a change), Aidra Fox (she should have been one of the oldies), Veronica Rodriguez, cutie Aubrey Star and Sierra Nevadah. It's repetitive and generic lesbian sex, overshadowed by the locations.

Director Alan plays fast and loose with his shooting backdrops, though I'm usually attentive enough (unless he's put me to sleep) to spot his miscues. In this case he films at porn's favorite and best site, the "Immoral Proposal" mansion with its spiral staircase and distinctive oval-paned front doors, but in the feature it is supposed to be the home of two separate characters, a contradiction. And it is upstaged by an even more spectacular mansion, which I have not named having only seen it a few times so far, a vast edifice whose entrance leads to a 3-story atrium, and is a marvel of glass one would associate with a museum rather than a residence.

Before you think I'm peculiar to be so focused on the backdrops rather than the foreground XXX action, try watching these boring and attenuated sex scenes, perhaps in binge mode, and you'll see how the mind and eye wanders in a vain search for content or anything vaguely interesting happening. MEMO to Stills and Mills: cunnilingus, fingering, 69, tribbing and even Golden Showers get mighty Old in a hurry if that's all you deliver, over and over, to your loyal if easily pleased website subscribers addicted to Sapphic stuff. Try a real, serious screenplay more often -it holds the viewer's interest.

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Release Date:

7 April 2015



Country of Origin